Should I give up the nightly EBM?

[RGPargy]

Lately DP has been giving DD (14 weeks) a bottle of EBM before bed after her bath and massage. She then comes to me for a "top up" coz she always drains the bottle and there's never much in it.

Anyway, lately it feels like she is really getting frustrated whilst feeding from me. The only time she feeds with her old gusto is during the night and first thing in the morning.

Do you think the bottle of EBM is causing her to become lazy at feeding and that I should knock this on the head to say, one bottle of EBM a week? I could persuade DP to do this on a Saturday or Sunday morning so i get a lay in! Now THAT would be lovely!

Any advice greatly appreciated.

TIA!

I must admit the stress of trying to express enough for a 2-3oz feed each night is getting to me. It was just meant to be a nice little bonding thing for DP to do with her.

Thanx Momma.

I'd cut back to one bottle a week, as it does seem like she'd getting a bit bottle/breast frustrated.

Why doesn't your DP have a bath with her as a nice bonding thing instead ? Co-bathing much more bonding than a bottle imo, and doesn't involve any extra work for you either.

Hi RGParqy. Have similar issues myself only that I am trying to express since I will return to work in two weeks time. DS is 16 weeks and hasnt been interested in daytime drinking for a few weeks now. I personally think, days are now just too interesting for him to bother with feeding. It is better when I go in a totally dark room with him. As long as I am not too bothered by the frequent wakings at night (used to be every 4h, now 2-3) I wont bother to change it. Good luck!

RGPargy (hi!) I do exactly the same, although perhaps for a different reason. We had problems getting dd1 to take a bottle so have been giving dd2 EBM once a day at 10pm since she was about 3 weeks. I am also now doing one formula feed, at the 7pm feed. Anyway stopped doing EBM a few nights ago and she started waking for an extra feed, so have gone back to it. This is possibly because I am giving her breast milk expressed in the morning, which is supposed to be richer (?) and therefore more satisfying. Anyway If it's too much of a faff to express and you don't want to give formula then perhaps cut back, but don't stop altogether if you want the baby to take a bottle at some point because it is about this age that they will start to refuse a bottle.....

Hi everyone

Well, for the last couple of nights she has NOT had the bottle and has as a consequence been feeding much better during the day. I do think on hindsight that she was getting lazy on the breast so i'm glad i've knocked it on the head for the moment. I've decided to keep the EBM to once a week and have expressed and frozen her "sunday morning bottle" in the freezer. It's less pressure for me too if i dont have to express every day so i'm quite happy about that.

Glimmer - good luck with returning to work! I dont envy you at all!

Hi Clara!! NOt bothered if DD refuses the bottle really. If she does, i'll start her on a doidy cup or something.

hi RG, i'm on the nov 08 antenatel threads...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi there RG (I remember you from the pregnancy board!) I was about to start a thread cos I'm too scared to give up ds' bottle of ebm in the evenings! Pathetic I know but I do so value my quiet evenings, he's six months old and I'm convinced ds has been sleeping 7-7 since 10 weeks because of it. Currently he has a bottle of ebm after he's been on the boob, it started as a top up as he was slow to gain weight, then it was because he is so tired in the evenings that he wasn't feeding terribly well from me, but I'm now thinking of dropping it too. It'll be great to not have to express every day. He's on three solid meals a day plus bf 5 times a day. I think it's time I was brave and dropped the ebm. Tonight he fell asleep before he'd even had one oz (he'll usually have about 4oz).

Hi MrsMar!

I too valued my quiet evenings but DD was getting so slack on the boob that i could do nothing other than give up the EBM. I'm sure DS, at six months, will be fine without the last bottle of EBM by the sounds of it. Can you try it for a couple of days and see what happens?

hmmmm well tonight wasn't too successful, normally give him boob plus top up of ebm at about 6 then dreamfeed at 11pm, but tonight he just had boob at 6 and he only managed until 10pm. I'm hoping the fact that he had his dream feed earlier doesn't mean he's going to wake up an hour earlier tomorrow morning.

How did you get on last night MrsMar??

Not great, he woke up early for his night feed. Normally I dreamfeed him at 11pm but he didn't make it, he woke at 10pm. I held out long enough to give it to him at 10.30. He went back to sleep ok but woke at 1am 2am and 3am. I gave up at three and brought him in to bed with me but he woke at a quarter to six screaming hungry. Normally he can go to 8. So.... I think I'll stick with the ebm top up bottle for now!

Ouch!! Sounds like a bit of a mare of a night! Hope things were better for you last night.

Hmmm not great again. I'm starting to think that it's his teeth more than anything. He's just got his two bottom teeth through and thinking back he's not been feeding brilliantly. Last night I did give him his bottle of ebm, but he only managed a couple of oz. he slept from 7pm to 9.30 but then woke up and would not go to sleep, pretty unusual for him. i gave him another 2oz of ebm and finally relented and gave him his dream feed (he was awake so dream is a loose term) at 10.30pm. He slept until 1, woke up briefly, i managed to get him off to sleep again, but he woke at 3.45 and would not go back to sleep so in desperation I did something I haven't done in over a month and gave him a feed then. He did go back to sleep again, but only until 6am. So all in all I'm pretty tired and hoping for a better night. How are you getting on? Is you dd managing without the bottle?

Oh you poor thing! It does sound like his teeth are giving him jip, doesn't it. I dont know whether to suggest keeping with the bottle of EBM at this point and trying to get him off it later or not?!! Having said that, if he's not really interested in it and only takes a couple of ounces then perhaps it IS the time to stop it??

DD is managing well without the EBM. Last night she slept from 7.30 and then woke up at 11pm so i gave her a feed and she woke me up at 4am, which is roughly her normal waking time. I gave her another feed and she then went off again til about 5.30am, which she is starting to adopt as her morning waking time, much to my dismay!! However, i brought her into our bed and i sat up and dozed while she slept on my chest. It was lovely and snuggly!

Good luck for tonight - i hope you get a few hours of solid sleep. Interrupted sleep can be as bad as no sleep at all cant it!

I'm not so sure I can give up his top up just yet. After dozing off earlier having had just 2oz, he woke up at 9 and despite all my best efforts he would not go back to sleep (he's normally pretty good at going back to sleep when he wakes up in the evening) i gave him the rest of the bottle I had, about 3oz and he downed it in seconds so i guess he was still hungry. He's eaten pretty well today so I guess he's just a really hungry boy!

Ouch at your 5.30 starts but that might change. If there's one thing I've learnt from the past 6 months, everything is a phase. DS has been waking up at 9pm for more food for about a week now, but I'm fairly confident that'll change in a week or so. His last little phase was to wake every hour during the early part of the evening and he grew out of that one after about a month. Then he went through a phase of waking up at 3am exactly every night for a month.

Bless him, he does sound hungry!!

I went to bed last night at 11.30 and thought i would give DD a dreamfeed, which she took well and went out like a light again. Then the little "treasure" decided to wake me at 4.30am for a feed and has refused to go back to sleep since, no matter how much i tried to get her back to sleep! I'm soooooo tired!

ooo you poor thing, I hope you manage to get a nap today. My ds had his dream feed at midnight and slept through to 6am, I tried to get him to go back to sleep but I think it's too light in his room (must get that blackout blind soon!) so I brought him in to our room and he went back to sleep until 8.30! woo hooo!!