EBF 5 day old has lost 8%, being told to give top ups - is this a good idea?

[Polkadotfloral]

Hello, I'm wondering if anyone has had a similar experience. I am a first time mum to my 5 day old DD and am hoping to EBF.

My milk started to come in yesterday (when DD was 4 days old). Yesterday afternoon DD threw up a little after breastfeeding and there was blood in it. I called 111 for advice and they told us to take her to the emergency paediatric department at our local hospital. They did various tests and it came back that the blood in her vomit was from me. I have been struggling with my latch (getting the 'lipstick' appearance to my nipples after feeds) and have been experiencing some pain. I hadn't noticed but there were some tiny scabs on my nipples (but no blood on my breast pads) which is why I hadn't thought that the blood was from me. After a long time in the emergency department, they decided it would be best for me to be admitted for some support with my feeding. I was very tearful and feel awful that my tiny DD has been ingesting my blood.

So I finally got to the ward at just before midnight and once I'd settled and they'd gotten me something to eat (hadn't had a meal since lunch time) we tried feeding with nipple shields and we did get DD on and she fed for around 5 mins. We tried again on the same breast and she fed for another 5 mins. The nurse said it's best to feed just from one side per feed to allow the baby to fully empty the breast so that it encourages your body to replenish that larger amount per breast. She said she thought my supply looked great and that it looked like I'd managed to give DD a full feed in just those 10 mins.

We got her in the cot for bed and then about 30 mins later she stirred so I changed her nappy as it was wet and then the nurse said it looked like she needed another feed. I felt so overwhelmed at that point that I just started crying again as I'd been awake for nearly 24 hours and thought I'd done a good job at the last feed (as the nurse had said it looked like DD had done a full feed and my supply looked great). She said they could have DD overnight and give her some formula to tide DD over and even though I feel so awful about it I agreed as I just didn't know how I was going to manage to keep going given how exhausted and upset I was.

I've spoken to the nurse this morning who let me know that DD had a 70ml feed at 2am and a 47ml feed at 5am. She said she thinks the problem is that even though my supply looks good, it's not yet at the level DD is needing as DD's seeming really hungry (I have no idea what the amounts mean to be honest). She's said when it's time for her next feed at 8am we'll have another go with the nipple shield on the other side and then offer DD some formula to top it up. She said it will be better for my supply in the longer term to top up for a few weeks.

I just feel pretty crap about it to be honest. I don't know why my supply isn't there and after being told it looks great etc it just feels so demoralising. I never wanted to give her formula and I have no idea about how to prepare bottles or anything.

Just feel bad about the whole thing and worried I'm not going to be able to breastfeed long term if I give her formula after each feed (how will my body know I need to be producing the extra if I'm not pumping/feeding?).

In terms of DD's weight, she's lost 8% since birth (so not a shockingly huge amount). Can I seek advice from someone else or do I just have to go along with this? I can't see how going down this route will allow me to EBF in the future. Would it be possible for me to continue with EBF (with support for getting the latch right to reduce my pain) and for DD to get enough from me, or am I now just destined to not produce what she needs?

I feel like such a failure about all of this and think I will burst into tears when I see DD again at 8am. 💔

Hope you’re ok OP. Please do try to find a lactation consultant asap. Other than that, lots of skin to skin when not feeding, and always feed from both sides if you can keep DD awake for long enough. Not sure where the nurse got that advice from.

breastfeeding network are incredible and their phone lines should be open today.

Kelly Mom and La Leche are both useful websites

How are you getting on OP?

Hello again everyone ❤️ I thought I'd come back on here to give you all an update and to (hopefully) help some other new mums who might be frantically searching Mumsnet in the early hours for accounts from other mums who had a difficult time with feeding at the beginning, but who managed to get through it!

On 21st December, DD and I were unfortunately readmitted to hospital as she had contracted Bronchiolitis (RSV). We had a very scary ambulance journey there and had to stay for 4 nights until her breathing was stabilised. During that time I pumped like mad as I wasn't allowed to feed her while she was recovering (she was being given my milk via NG tube). Due to this, our appointment to have her tongue tie snipped was pushed back, and after we returned from hospital we continued on the triple feeding plan we had been put on (every 3 hours I would breastfeed for 30 minutes, then give DD a top up from a bottle (of either expressed milk or formula) and then pump for 15-20 minutes). I will be honest, triple feeding was awful; horrendously exhausting and emotionally draining. My DH was amazing and helped me with every feed (I felt so fortunate that he had two weeks of paternity leave followed by two weeks of annual leave over Christmas). DD started gaining weight but I was still struggling a lot with the exhaustion and anxiety around the whole thing.

On 4th January, DD was able to have her tongue tie snipped and since then, we worked on reducing her top ups. Luckily, DD recovered really well from the procedure and started refusing the top ups within a couple of days! It's now been just over 3 weeks since then and DD has consistently been gaining weight and is following her centile line, all while being exclusively breastfed! Things aren't completely perfect with breastfeeding and we still sometimes have trouble with the latch but DD has been so brilliant and determined and I am so proud of her. As difficult as it is to hear when you're in the trenches, things definitely did improve with time.

To any new mum who is having trouble with feeding who might be reading this, please do not let anyone tell you that you can't work through your issues - in lots of instances you absolutely can if you have the right support. Knowing what I know now, I am outraged that I was told at 5 days postpartum (by a nurse!) that I didn't have enough milk for DD. It is far too early for an assessment like that to be made and it really knocked me when I was already in a very fragile state. For us, the issue was DD's tongue tie, and later on, the fact she had RSV which was making her so tired and poorly and unable to feed well, not my supply at all.

It was a very hard road to get to where we are now, but at 7 weeks DD is thriving and gaining consistently being exclusively breastfed. She is now over 2lbs above her birth weight and, although on the smaller side, is doing so amazingly well. She is a brave and strong little girl and I couldn't be more proud of her. ❤️

Thank you to everyone who commented on this thread - you were all so helpful and I am so grateful!

Hi OP, sorry you have been through such a stressful time but really happy to hear things have improved for you!

I had a similar experience with my 10 week old baby, initially struggled to gain weight due to tongue tie/latching issues and was on a triple feeding plan of breastfeeding, pumping and formula (and like you found it utterly exhausting, by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life). Since the tongue tie was treated we are now exclusively feeding her breast milk (mostly breastfeeding, plus a couple of expressed milk bottles with my husband each day).

I would say the same to any other mums who are having a difficult time in the early days. Things may not go how you expect them to, but that doesn’t mean the situation is permanent - it is possible that with the right support and treatment (if tongue tied) that things will change and you’ll be able to EBF (if that is what you want to do).

Sorry to hear you had such a rough time but that’s absolutely wonderful to hear that despite all that your DD is now fully breastfeeding ❤️ well done for getting to this point and certainly an inspiration 🤱🏼

Well done!

Amazing well done for advocating for yourself and baby and persevering x

I bloody hate the NHS. The hospital screwed me over too. So happy I left the UK before brexit.

What a fabulous update - I'm so delighted for you, OP!

Final update from me (to give hope to any new mums having a hard time feeding in the early days) - last night I gave my DD her last ever feed at almost 26 months.

Our journey was so heartbreakingly difficult in the first few months, and for so long I felt like it was never going to work for us. I'd say it took until about 12 weeks for things to feel completely comfortable but honestly it was so worth persevering through the difficult times. Once it became straightforward, it was the easiest thing in the world and so, so special. I am so proud of myself for getting to where we did, and I am so proud of my DD for overcoming all the challenges she had facing her in the early days.

To any new mums who are where I was just over two years ago - please reach out for support from your midwives/infant feeding team/breastfeeding groups if you're having a hard time with feeding. You truly can do it and seeking support is completely okay (and necessary a lot of the time if you're EBF). You are doing an amazing job and your little on is so lucky to have you as their mummy! ❤️