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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

BF and sensations.. serious question.

25 replies

tiredmummynow · 14/03/2008 07:01

Name change here as I am quite and to ask this.

I am fairly new to breastfeeding and am bumbling along, but I am thinking of going full time to formula as I am finding myself really disliking some sensations I often get now with BF. Best way to describe it, is like a strong tingling in the nipples/nether regions. A search on the Net refers to it as arousal and apparently is quite normal.
Really?!?

I am finding it quite irritating and really discomforting to be honest. It can be when I bf OR if my boobs get too full. One site says it should be ignored, but to be quite frank this is very difficult and I am getting down about it.

Yes, this is a genuine concern/question, but anyone else find this, as I've done a search and it doesn't appear that common a thread to start!

OP posts:

BumperliciousIsStillNotDressed · 14/03/2008 07:06

I name changed a wrote the exact same post months ago!

It's quite common but another one of those things no-one warns you about or talks about.

In my experience it does go, but I too seriously considered stopping as I couldn't deal with it, but I didn't and it went and now dd is still fed at 8.5 mo.

BumperliciousIsStillNotDressed · 14/03/2008 07:08

My original thread

Bouncingturtle · 14/03/2008 07:09

Weird - I've notice that sensation a couple of times recently, but only at a couple of feeds. I ignored it. Can understand why you feel discomforted, but may be tr to persevere? It has happened to me again for a couple of days now. So in light of that and Bumperlicious's post, maybe it's a temporary thing?

warthog · 14/03/2008 07:27

i had this, but it disappeared after the first month i think.

pruners · 14/03/2008 07:42

Message withdrawn

BandofMothers · 14/03/2008 07:50

I sometimes used to get the odd tingle, but just told myself that there is nothing sexual about bf and it is completely natural, but I still felt wierdly embarrassed and maybe even a bit ashamed of it. I fed dd2 until she was 14 mths old. Don't let it ruin what can be one of the most satisfying things in your life.

I actually felt wierder when DH sucked my nipples ( I can't believe I am writing this) during the time I was feeding, it was quite a confusing time. But to reassure you, it is normal, you are normal, there's nothing to be embarrassed or feel wierd about.

BumperliciousIsStillNotDressed · 14/03/2008 08:01

I never worried about the fact that it was sexual but I used to just hate that feeling of being aroused but it never being seen to fruition IYKWIM?!

And it still didn't make me want to have sex with DH any more!

I consider myself very up on bfing but apart from discussing my own experience I have never heard of this. It's such a shame that people aren't more honest as this is clearly a natural response, it theoretically makes bfing more pleasurable for the mother so she keeps going. I wonder how many other people have stopped because of not understanding this?

SirDigbyChickenCaesar · 14/03/2008 08:01

my mom said she had the same thing. not with me, but with my brother. because she had never fed a boy before and was having these feelings she felt realy ashamed. luckily she was gonig to LLL groups and they reassured her that what she was feeling was normal.

i think its probably mre common than people let on.

Caz10 · 14/03/2008 15:09

i just read about this yesterday! sadly i get nothing but a bit of pain at the mo...

anyway it was in "bestfeeding" i think, and it is just to do with hormones (oxy-wotsit i think) being released, just as they would be during sexual activity.

so totally normal, but i can understand how it would feel uncomfortable.

someone made a good point on that older thread about it being first and foremost a maternal response - maybe thinking like that would help?

sushistar · 14/03/2008 19:44

I recognise that feeling! Thanks for posting about it. When ds was about a week, I was bfeeding him in bed lying down, half asleep, at 4am, and started to dream of dh... woke up with a start feeling very freaked out and . I think the nipple stimulation had prompted a sexual dream and i felt awful about it - like I'd done smething wrong, which of course I hadn't! Don't get any arousal feelings from bfeeding now tho - ds is 3 1/2 months. I'm quite relieved!

pram4sale · 15/03/2008 10:39

Hmm. Very interesting post. I think I know the feeling and I always liked it. Is it so bad that is sexual? After all a child is the result of having sex. Please do not get me wrong I do not think it's appropriate to have sexual feeling for your DC, but for me it was just "feeling good" and thus encouraging to breastfeed, which would be a clever mother nature trick. Dont have it often though.

BumperliciousIsStillNotDressed · 15/03/2008 10:43

Pram4sale, you are exactly right, it is mother natures way. I always hated it, but not because I thought it was inappropriate but because I made me feel "unfulfilled" IYKWIM?

I don't think there is anything wrong with it at all.

kiskideesameanoldmother · 15/03/2008 10:58

I didn't have these sensations when I was bfing exclusively and I did so for 10 months but that may also be because I was sleep deprived and working full time and premanently overtired.

once dd was feeding less and was sleeping better (down to cosleeping full time) I sometimes become aroused when bfing. I think it must have also tied in with my fertility returning too. I would normally end up fantasising about sex with dh and then would roll over after feeding dd and wake him up for sex.

I guess it is mother nature's way of telling me that I was ready for another baby.

Babies are very sensual beings. they are born to be naked next to us and their heart rate and breathing patterns are more settled when they are skin to skin with caregivers. They prefer our natural body smells and theirs over perfumes and cleanliness that our culture promote. It is a design of nature for oxytocin to be released by sexual orgasms and the letdown reflex. It is not something to be scared of. It is something to accept as a normal part of humanity. I have never found my dd sexual but have found her putting me in touch with a part of my humanity I never dreamed existed. Breastfeeding is a journey of exploration into your own soul.

Ineedsomesleep · 15/03/2008 11:11

I'd say it was perfectly normal. You don't say how old your baby is. If its less than 6 weeks then I'd carry on, but thats entirely up to you.

I've fed one child and am now feeding another who is 7 months old and both times I've found the first 6 weeks the hardest with everything (including sensations) changing after the 6 week growth spurt.

Have you tried talking it over with a bf counsellor? It might be worth a try before you switch to formula.

mamazee · 15/03/2008 11:33

kiskid i want to thank you for being so brave and open about it. hooray fo getting in touch with an expoloration into our own soul

i had these feelings and realised that my discomfort with it was about me associating that feeling with sex instead of my sexuality...which is NOT about shagging
it definately goes away. i am still BF at 12 months and have very few feelings like that...if i do i enjoy it

imo i would really try and work with it as BF is the best best thing i have done since my DS was born. i am so so so glad that i continued through thick and thin. and it was tough at times.

i know it feels weird but i figured that it just took time for my body to work out that it was my DS and not my DP

well done tired mummy for bringing it up.

BumperliciousIsStillNotDressed · 15/03/2008 15:04

I agree with babies being sensual. and i love my dd naked, i just want to eat her! sensuality is not the same as sexuality. i'm glad other people have been able to be honest about this, it's a sad indictment of todays society that we can't talk about this and have to name change to ask about it on here.

i've made it a point to talk to my close friends about it.

kiskideesameanoldmother · 15/03/2008 15:05

i have heard a story that a woman in the states, texas i think, asked for advice on this and whoever she asked advice to reported her to social services.

suzi2 · 15/03/2008 15:42

This is a very interesting thread. It's not something I have ever felt with either of mine (feeling disappointed now lol) but it's nice to read about as I can see why it would be taboo. I do peer support so if I'm ever asked about it I can be supportive rather than .

Now if mother nature could have just set it up so that when you breastfed, fairies arrived and did the dishes...

kiskideesameanoldmother · 15/03/2008 15:45

dh had never expected he would have benefits from breastfeeding except for no night feeds.

VictorianSqualor · 15/03/2008 15:54

I mentioned this on a thread before, when peoplewere saying why they didnt want to breastfeed and it was something that really worried me, with DD I only had her latch on twice because she was quite porrly ad both times I felt it, I was worried sick with DS and the thought of it nearly put me off completely.
However, I don't really remember it with DS and don't think it's a big deal really, it's a natural feeling to nipple stimulation and though it can make you feel uncomfortable I think it's perfectly normal.
HTH

MrsWaggsnapps · 15/03/2008 16:07

I think it has something to do with the latch, I get similar (but so much worse) sensation down the leg on the side I am feeding and was told that DD was probably stimulating the nerve (I think it's called vaso spasm - I get pale squashed nipples as well).

Adjusting the latch may knock this on the head? I must admit I have to keep "boobs for baby" whilst feeding as I can't cope with the implications otherwise

Martha200 · 16/03/2008 21:43

Ok, have found it in me to return to my original boring membername

I've never been concerned about it being sexual, it's kind of ironic as sex is the last thing on my mind these days (too tired!) so am really just finding the intensity rather uncomfortable and I find it can happen when ds not feeding as well, and was finding it very tiring and didn't dare ask friends who have bf in the past for fear of their reactions.

MrsWaggsnapps, I can get it down the leg too.

Thanks for the reassurances.. ds2 is 2 months today, so will be curious to see if this continues or will go in time.

EasterBunnylicious · 16/03/2008 21:50

Well done martha!

I know how you feel about just finding the intensity uncomfortable. I did too. At least you know it is normal!

FrannyandZooey · 16/03/2008 21:53

well, breastfeeding is the reason that our breasts have sensual and pleasurable feelings related to touching them

I think we have got a little confused and mixed up about pleasurable feelings in the body, and what they imply

Clydesdaleclopper · 16/03/2008 23:00

I think it's all perfectly normal. I certainly didn't experience it in the early days as BFing was so tricky then but I often get it now (DS is 6 months).

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