On Demand/On Schedule.....what do you do? HELP!!

[lilimama]

I'm living in NL and over here, we are strongly encouraged to feed on a 3 hour schedule. At my son's first health visit (at 3 weeks) the nurse wanted to know that he was feeding, "only once at night?" I was aghast and said so, telling her that he fed many more times than once and because I wasn't counting, I couldn't be sure exactly. She tut tutted and told me it was really best for him, "and certainly for you" to get him feeding only once during the night.

He was 3 weeks old!!!!!! I'm no expert but this doesn't seem right.

What do you do over in the UK?

Am I spoiling him by feeding him when he wakes with a hunger cry?

Nights typically go like this:

3 hours sleep, then feed
3 hours sleep then feed
2 hours "" ""
1.5 hours """

I am so confused. Am I supposed to try to "condition" or "train" him? Doesn't seem right but perhaps you experienced ones will tell me different....perhaps there is something lurking down the line that I'm not aware of?

Help!!1

feeding on demand is recommended by the WHO. That nurse is ill-informed...don't listen to her. Go with your motherly instincts. Are you breastfeeding? At 3 weeks old, they can feed every 2-3 hours night or day.

I would say you are doing fine, your LO's tummy is tiny and shouldn't be going more than 3-4 hours without a feed for several more weeks.

I think whether or not you try to "train" your baby or not, you'll end up with the same result 6 mths down the line but the journey there maybe stressful for both of you!

Go with your instinct on this one, good luck (and congratulations BTW)

Don't worry about "spoiling". In any context. He's so little, you can't spoil him, you can just respond to his needs and make him feel all safe and secure. You sound like you're doing fine.

I fed on demand. Ds was 5 months old before he stopped feeding frequently at night and only just started sleeping though in the last couple of weeks (he's nearly 11 months old). HV didn't bat an eyelid, all perfectly normal in her opinion.

lili that sounds entirely normal. as in you are doing the right thing and she is behaving in an entirely idiotic fashion, a la uk health visitors.

how does it work with these visits, will she be causing future trouble for you or can you suggest she gets some training?

I BF on demand and I didn't care if he was "snacking" (despite HV comments) as I reckoned I had nothing more important to do in those early weeks! It is the best way of getting BF established, I think. The first 6 - 8 weeks are the ones where you are both still learning to make BF work and your milk supply is adjusting and it and your baby will become more predictable in time. Scheduled feeds / expressing / odd bottles of EBF or formula in that timeframe can make it harder for your body and / or your baby's digestive system to settle down in my opinion.

I'm with everyone else. I fed when he wanted to and then we would go through a growth spurt every now and then when I felt as though he was constantly feeding - invested in a ring sling which made this easier as I could get up and do one handed chores with a feeding baby. Also BF increases the bonding process - your baby not hers and do what you feel is right for the pair of you - enjoy!

Up to he was 9 weeks old, ds was feeding every 2-3 hours on the night, he is only now going for 3-4 hour stretches, he is now 11 weeks.
Listen to your instincts and your baby - you are right to continue as you are. Ignore the nurse, you cannot force a baby that young into a schedule!

lilimama - I'm in belgium, and I just used to lie to the health visitors about how much my dd was bfing. I bf both my dds on demand - fortunately I had a very good private midwife who gave me good advice.

I am quite suprised by this as I thought they were more enlightened in Holland about all sorts of things including bf. (Have read a few posts recently which make me question that). Feed on demand like you do and let your ds settle into his own routine. Some babies really like routine also to their feeding schedule, but others like to feed on demand for a long time or unless you are prepared to really spend a lot of time establishing a routine with them. Personally I look at friends and think the ones who fed on demand even through cluster feedings where you might havr to be available more or less 24/7, are a lot less stressed out than the ones who spend a lot of time forcing a routine the baby might not necessarily be ready for or even want.

I find offering a breast at every waking sees you through the first 3-4 mths. Some times every hour of more sometimes they'll throw in a four he sleep. Worry about schedules later for me later never comes though but I do have a gorgeous 11 mth old who feeds whenever he likes but only once at night;)

I fed mine on demand, eventually they slept through and found a natural routine of their own