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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Nursing strike or self weaning?

23 replies

dreamerkr · 03/11/2023 20:02

Hey guys, sorry for yet another post! I’ve been so stressed and worried these last few days and I just need some more advice 🥺 my DS turned 1 just last week and he’s always been great with his feeding. He always feeds 3-4 times during the day and 2-3 times at night, he also has always fed to sleep. 2 days ago, he suddenly stopped feeding. He’s teething and also has an ear infection right now, and this ‘strike’ if that’s what it is, started when the other day, he latched on to feed and he bit me and I yelped out in pain. I think he got scared as he seems to want to feed but every time I try to feed him, he bites again or he arches his back and starts to cry. He looks scared. I have fed him 2-3 times in the last 2 days but that’s always been when he’s asleep. He does seem to want it when he’s awake, I’ve been having plenty of skin to skin with him, but not forcing him to feed of course. He plays with my nipples, pulls them, and then he looks upset when I try to feed him. He bites every time or he doesn’t want to be anywhere near my breasts when I hold him. I don’t even know how to put him to sleep anymore. Me and DH have had to take him out in his car seat, drive around until he sleeps, for the last 2 days because he won’t sleep any other way. When I fed him last night while he was asleep, he didn’t want me to move away and he stayed latched on for a while. It’s so upsetting for me, and I know I’m stupid because he’s over 1 now but honestly he’s still so small and I feel like he’s not ready to stop. I think about stopping breastfeeding but then I look at him and I feel so sad. My hormones are all over the place. Do you guys think he’s self weaning or is it a nursing strike? Do you think he will go back to it or should I stop? It was just all so sudden! 😭

Sorry sorry sorry for another post! I just want a handhold I guess.

OP posts:
Flittingaboutagain · 03/11/2023 21:17

Breastfeeding two at the moment, one much older than yours. I've been there. Are you treating the teething pain? I'd try giving pain relief and teething toys and powder consistently for a couple of days, 20 mins before every feed. If he's hurting he'll keep refusing or biting, even if he really wants the comfort and milk.

Original poster
dreamerkr · 03/11/2023 21:40

Flittingaboutagain · 03/11/2023 21:17

Breastfeeding two at the moment, one much older than yours. I've been there. Are you treating the teething pain? I'd try giving pain relief and teething toys and powder consistently for a couple of days, 20 mins before every feed. If he's hurting he'll keep refusing or biting, even if he really wants the comfort and milk.

I am giving him calpol and teething powder too, did you too have your babies refuse feeds for days?

OP posts:
Original poster
dreamerkr · 04/11/2023 11:09

Shameless bump 🥺

I’m managing to feed him while he’s asleep at night, 1 or 2 times, but when he’s awake then he will only bite me.

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 05/11/2023 08:25

Ibruprofen was recommended to me by a surgeon for dental pain and they were right, it's so much more effective.

If he's getting an urge to bite is he getting things like cucumber sticks, a cool, clean, wet flannel to chew on or a frozen banana?

Original poster
dreamerkr · 05/11/2023 10:45

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 05/11/2023 08:25

Ibruprofen was recommended to me by a surgeon for dental pain and they were right, it's so much more effective.

If he's getting an urge to bite is he getting things like cucumber sticks, a cool, clean, wet flannel to chew on or a frozen banana?

I’ll try giving him Nurofen today, and yes he does have cucumber sticks. Should I give him other things to bite? Would that help? When he’s awake and I try to feed him, it almost seems like he’s forgotten how to breastfeed. He lifts my top up all the time but then starts playing with my nipple, arching his back and crying, or biting. I’m able to feed him when he’s napping or sleeping at night but that’s it.

Weirdly, he has slept through for the last 2 nights, for the first time in his life. Probably because he thinks he doesn’t need to breastfeed anymore even though I do feed him a couple of times when he’s asleep?

I do express twice a day, but I don’t get much at all.

OP posts:
Flittingaboutagain · 05/11/2023 11:20

That's great baby is getting enough relief to sleep.

Teething pain relief can be calpol but absolutely agree ibuprofen is more effective. Cucumber sticks. Muslins frozen in the freezer. Breast milk ice lollies. Teething toys you can put in the fridge etc. Anything baby likes to chew that's safe - make it cold.

Original poster
dreamerkr · 05/11/2023 11:26

Flittingaboutagain · 05/11/2023 11:20

That's great baby is getting enough relief to sleep.

Teething pain relief can be calpol but absolutely agree ibuprofen is more effective. Cucumber sticks. Muslins frozen in the freezer. Breast milk ice lollies. Teething toys you can put in the fridge etc. Anything baby likes to chew that's safe - make it cold.

Thank you so much, I’ll try this today. Do you think he will start to feed again after this?

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 05/11/2023 12:25

Thank you so much, I’ll try this today. Do you think he will start to feed again after this?

I think he will once the pain subsides.

Original poster
dreamerkr · 05/11/2023 12:46

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 05/11/2023 12:25

Thank you so much, I’ll try this today. Do you think he will start to feed again after this?

I think he will once the pain subsides.

I really hope so. It almost seems as if he’s forgotten how to breastfeed while he’s awake 🥺 I know he’s over 12 months old but I didn’t think I would be getting so upset over this. 😭

OP posts:
ZuliKyanLarsFoz · 05/11/2023 13:01

In my experience, this lasts a week or so and then they go back to normal feeding.

Original poster
dreamerkr · 05/11/2023 13:14

ZuliKyanLarsFoz · 05/11/2023 13:01

In my experience, this lasts a week or so and then they go back to normal feeding.

Thank you so much, I hope that he starts feeding again as normal once his ear infection clears up 🥺 poor boy has teething pain too

OP posts:
Flittingaboutagain · 05/11/2023 20:16

ZuliKyanLarsFoz · 05/11/2023 13:01

In my experience, this lasts a week or so and then they go back to normal feeding.

Yes that's my experience too. Also at your stage of feeding your supply will easily adjust again once he starts more daytime feeds again.

Original poster
dreamerkr · 05/11/2023 21:12

Flittingaboutagain · 05/11/2023 20:16

Yes that's my experience too. Also at your stage of feeding your supply will easily adjust again once he starts more daytime feeds again.

Show quote history

How long did it take for you guys? 🥺

OP posts:
Original poster
dreamerkr · 07/11/2023 20:13

So DS’s ear infection is now better but he’s still not feeding when awake. He still always pulls my top up like he wants to feed but he doesn’t, he still bites me. However, when he’s taking a nap or when he’s asleep at night, then I do feed him and he feeds well when he’s asleep (3 times in 24 hours in total). I’m actually happy about this as he does feed when he’s asleep at least, however I’m still confused because it seems like he wants to feed because he pulls my top up and he seems irritated when he can’t feed, I don’t know…

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 07/11/2023 20:21

dreamerkr · 07/11/2023 20:13

So DS’s ear infection is now better but he’s still not feeding when awake. He still always pulls my top up like he wants to feed but he doesn’t, he still bites me. However, when he’s taking a nap or when he’s asleep at night, then I do feed him and he feeds well when he’s asleep (3 times in 24 hours in total). I’m actually happy about this as he does feed when he’s asleep at least, however I’m still confused because it seems like he wants to feed because he pulls my top up and he seems irritated when he can’t feed, I don’t know…

I'm not sure what to advise now I'm sorry. Have you tried speaking to a BFC on one of the BFing Helplines? Flowers

Original poster
dreamerkr · 07/11/2023 20:31

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 07/11/2023 20:21

I'm not sure what to advise now I'm sorry. Have you tried speaking to a BFC on one of the BFing Helplines? Flowers

Show quote history

I did a few days ago yes, they just said it sounds like a nursing strike and that it should get better when his infection does. They told me to do plenty of skin to skin which I’ve been trying, to try and feed him when the room is dark or when I’m in the bath. I’m happy about the fact that at least he’s feeding when he’s asleep, but poor boy is so distressed even now he was pulling my top up, then he was poking my nipple looking at it and crying. I feel so bad 🥺 he wants the comfort I think more than the milk, but he doesn’t know what to do and neither do I because he bites me every time I try to feed him or he just gets distressed again.

OP posts:
Original poster
dreamerkr · 08/11/2023 11:16

Okay so I had DS in my lap and he started to feed! Awake! I actually felt so emotional I was about to cry 😂 I know I’m crazy. He fed for 3-4 mins and then bit me at the end 😂 with the cheekiest grin on his face lol! But I see good progress!

OP posts:
Ciaraheff · 01/12/2023 08:06

How’s it going @dreamerkr ? I’m on day 6 of our strike here. My mental health is really suffering and am feeling pretty hopeless. He’s 7mo old and just getting over a bout of RSV but now seems to have very bad teething pain

Ciaraheff · 14/12/2023 05:26

Checking in once more @dreamerkr - any improvements? We’re going on 3 weeks of striking and I’m so devastated I don’t see my son coming back - same as you with playing with nipple etc but if I can even get him close he bites

YireosDodeAver · 14/12/2023 06:09

At a similar ahe my lo had a bad cold and spent a few days where latching on was difficult. Had previously started nurseey and was used to having daytime milk as formula from a bottle anf had no problems with that so I felt it was the best decision for us to take the opportunity of a relatively natural end to breastfeeding. By that time milk was being combined with plenty of solid food so there's no nutritional "exclusivity" being lost. It felt like the right thing for us but of course your own decision needs to be what feels right for you. Obviously it's sad to say goodbye to the breastfed bany stage but the next stage is also wonderful in its own way. Don't grieve for your baby growing up.

KCSIE · 14/12/2023 14:32

Ciaraheff · 14/12/2023 05:26

Checking in once more @dreamerkr - any improvements? We’re going on 3 weeks of striking and I’m so devastated I don’t see my son coming back - same as you with playing with nipple etc but if I can even get him close he bites

Mine went on a very stressful nursing strike (and simultaneous food strike!) for about a week aged 13m due to throat infection, swollen tonsils, hand foot and mouth and teething all at once but we got back on track and continued our BF journey until self-weaned at 2y11m.

I took the pressure off completely, toddler would cuddle to sleep in the same position and place we'd usually nurse in, and after a couple of days we were playing with teddies and I asked favourite teddy if he'd like to nurse? The teddy said yes and so I sat where my toddler and I would usually sit and cuddled teddy and pretended to nurse teddy.....toddler had just stopped very still and was watching, then 20mins later toddler jumped in my lap and nursed and that was that.

Good luck 🤞

Ciaraheff · 14/12/2023 15:37

Omg @KCSIE thats amazing! Well done for persevering and that’s a super clever tactic. I’ve totally removed pressure too it just hard as he’s 7mos and still mostly on milk so pumping is getting very tedious. But you’re inspiring me! Will keep it going a while longer and I’ll definitely be nursing all the teddys 😂

KCSIE · 14/12/2023 15:48

Ciaraheff · 14/12/2023 15:37

Omg @KCSIE thats amazing! Well done for persevering and that’s a super clever tactic. I’ve totally removed pressure too it just hard as he’s 7mos and still mostly on milk so pumping is getting very tedious. But you’re inspiring me! Will keep it going a while longer and I’ll definitely be nursing all the teddys 😂

I have a 7m old too 🙌

Mine is reducing their BF intake for sure now they're gobbling all the food. I get bitten too 😬 7m old tends to bob on and off until I give in and provide solids as that's their way of telling me solids please! They're also v distracted by whatever big sibling is doing so hard to keep the baby focused on nursing. That said, 7m old will feed comfortably if I put them in their sleeping bag and sit in my bed to nurse (even if it's not nap time). Totally different nursling to my eldest. I think my 7m will wean earlier than my eldest did, tbh.

My other nursing strike suggestion would be to try nursing in the bath...

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