Breast feeding help and advice

[Outofmydepth63]

Hello mum's nutters I am hoping for some wisdom and advice from wiser heads than mine.

Disclaimer I have NC for this as family are on here and I am being referred for PPA/PPD and they don't know l.

We have just had our DD after years of TTC and believing and being told we could have children. She is currently 2 weeks old and I love her dearly but would be lying if I said breastfeeding was working at all for us.

I have been to a support group, spoken to our HV and got support from a midwife but I still find it painful and stressful. The first week she had terrible latch so I had the cracks, bleeding and toe curling pain. It is is not as painful but still sore which makes me dread every feed. I have started using nipple sheilds and expressing but it isn't making a massive difference.

My main issue is after breast feeding she is so unsettled. She will do it for 20mins to 1 and a half hours straight and then will need holding for 30mins or she just screams. And even then if I put her down she just cries and cries. I will feed again but she will repeat feeding a little then detaching herself and just crying if you attempt to settle her.

She is constantly rooting. Like the minute she wakes up she roots and no matter how much she eats she roots everything and everyone.

She also cries for hours at a time at night and in the early hours and I am currently lucky to get around 2 hours sleep a day.

DH is great and doing his share but returns to work soon and I feel sick at the thought of it.

So far only advice specialists have given is breast is best, we prefer her on breast as much as possible and sleep when she does. To this last one, we also have a 2 year DS who we adopted at 1year old so sleep doesn't really lend itself.

When she does finally sleep she won't wake up for feeds so I am having to wake her up or she would just sleep through (the morning and midday anyway)

I am on my knees and not sure if anyone has any advice or if it is just "suck it up" as she is newborn, but I figured I have nothing to lose. It is mainly the rooting constantly and then the fact she can't settle at all post feeding. She is burped, changed/dry and we have tried the singing, walking, fresh air, a bath and just holding but nothing settles her and no one I have spoken to have suggested this is anything to worry about.

If you made it this far thank you x

When our newborns did this in their first few weeks, here in the US it was referred to as “cluster feeding”. It’s brutal, it’s exhausting, it’s extremely draining, but it DOES come to an end!

This article describes it in the most sympathetic way that totally lays out what it was like when our newborns had me bleeding and in tears. https://nestcollaborative.com/blog/what-are-cluster-feedings-and-how-long-will-they-last/

Hang in there! It does get better!!

I would talk to your HV about whether you still need to wake to feed at 2 weeks. Personally I would be letting baby sleep as long as she wants at 2 weeks. Perhaps she is overtired from being woken?

Unfortunately I always found BF very painful for the first month or two so this doesnt necessarily mean something is wrong. Do you think she isnt getting enough milk? If you are putting her to the breast often and she doesnt have TT then this is unlikely.

To relieve sore nipples I was recommended silver nipple cups by my midwife and they are amazing at healing and soothing. You wear them between feeds, can find them on Amazon.

Bicycle legs? Infacol?

Honestly? Persevere a little bit more but it's ok to feed them formula.My youngest is happiest and I mixed fed her from about two weeks old

I'd unlatch her after 30 mins of feeding and give her a dummy.

Oh god - I am having flashbacks. My DD was just like this. I didn't realize til I had my second that some babies just constantly need something in their gobs! Babies suck for comfort hence why dummies can be a life saver if used selectively. No baby will settle with a dummy if hungry and you have to be a little forceful as she will probably prefer boob. My dd would take one but would settle sucking my finger - I slept with my finger in her mouth after she had fed.
I agree that I wouldn't wake her if she has regained birthweight.
This is cluster feeding and they can get overtired presenting like they don't know what they want - bobbing on and off the boob. That's when I would use a dummy.
It is tough but it's all normal newborn behavior and I lost the plot mentally trying to change it when I realise now I couldn't. She is only 2 weeks - throw any norm out of the window for now and just go with her flow.

Agree with @UpsyDaisyMegaphone

You need Lasinoh nipple cream and use it religiously after every feed.

It does get easier. She will be glued to you cluster feeding at the moment. You just need to keep feeding her every time she's rooting. Give it another two weeks and you'll be in a different place, and another two weeks after that and things will look very very different!

Breastfeeding, if you can get through the first few weeks, is undoubtedly easier, cheaper and just lovely.

Go to bed very early, stay in bed all day, read up about the fourth trimester and cluster feeding.

Good luck xx

I never gave a dummy at this stage as they are cluster feeding to build your supply - it's very much for a reason. They can't build supply with a dummy in their mouth!

Agree, sounds like cluster feeding my DD did this early on. As a PP said get Lasinoh cream and use it before and after. It does get less painful as your nipples get used to BF.

I also used these, amazing after a wee bit in fridge and safe so you don't need to wipe off-
amzn.eu/d/f8MMn6I

Thank you all for your respones. It is reassuring to hear that people have been here and it does get easier.

@howtheheck123 @scrunchmum I have invested in both of these last night via Prime so hopefully be here today and I will be a bit more Liberal with the cream those who mentioned it as I don't think I have been using it enough.

HV is visiting today and we had an app about TT this morning. She was partly TT so they have released that which may help. I will ask the HV today about the dummy today when she comes as this is one point you get such mixed feedback on about when is a good age to start.

Thank you all for your help and honesty!

I don't think anyone ever suggests giving a dummy 24/7 and not feeding at all. 🙄

You can still build a supply perfectly well and give dummies. Babies will spit them out when they're actually hungry as opposed to just wanting something to suck.

No one needs to feed for hours non stop to build supply, it's this kind of thing that makes breastfeeding seem impossible and leads to people giving up. A half hour feed at a time is more than adequate (this is advice given to me by NICU staff as well as other lactation experts), and endless breastfeeding when they're not getting much milk can actually just tire a baby out and interfere with weight gain.

Hope sorting the tongue tie has made things better, OP!

@cakeorbreak My 99th percentile, ebf dummy loving baby since 2 day would disagree. Stop scaring parents off dummies, they can be an absolute god send for fussy babies and for helping with sleep. “Nipple confusion” has been debunked many times.

I would try a dummy and see how you get on, some baby’s just really need to suck constantly in the early days and if they constantly sucking on you is driving you to PPD territory just give them a dummy.