has anyone not bf one dc but did the next?

[amytheearwaxbanisher]

am ttc so have been thinking about it didnt bf ds as i was uncomfortable about getting my norks out and no one i know family included did it so it was assumed i wouldnt so i went for ff.id kind of like to bf next dc but would that be wrong as i didnt bf dc if you get me?

I think people on mumsnet have shared these feelings, amy....but there's a gaping hole in the logic at the heart of it

I know it's a desire to be fair to both kids, but parenting is something you learn about as you get more experienced at it. It would be daft not to use this experience, and knowledge, and wisdom etc etc etc about all sorts of aspects of 'the job' of parenting, just so's you are deliberately 'the same' with both children!

If you want to bf the next baby, then of course you can, and should

Yes, I ff my dd who is now 3 and am bf-ing my ds , 7 weeks. I didn't bf my dd for a number of reasons, I had been told, incorrectly, that I couldn't bf because of breast surgery for abscesses I had when I was a teenager, but tbh I don't think I wanted to anyway, and that was the 'justification' that i needed. Noone in my family had done it.This time round I had witnessed 2 good friends successfully breastfeeding and had read up on it. I knew I wasn't going to have any more children after his one and wanted to try. Kellymom website and mn has been a lifeline to me during these early weeks because I am not going to lie, it has been bloody hard work, but i am glad I have done it. I do feel guilty that I didnt bf my little girl, but guilt's a bit of a wasted emotion because I can't do anything about it - I thought I made the best decision for my circumstances at the time. Like tiktok says, the more experienced you get at parenting, the more likely you are to use the knowledge. What I would say is read up about it beforehand and get lots of support. good luck!

Oh, I've just thought of another analogy - people might have their first child/ren in a small flat without a garden, and then years later, move to a nicer house in a pleasanter neighbourhood with a lovely garden when they have subsequent child/ren. No one would think it would be wrong to give the 'newer' child the experience of a nice house and garden, simply because the older child didn't have it

Go for it, Amy! I didn't bf ds1 (well, I did, but just for 3 wks) but bf all three following babies. I didn't do well with ds1 because I didn't have the right info but educated myself when I was pg with ds2 and fed him for over a year. As Tiktok says, it's a learning curve.

I didn't bf DD, but did DS.
There is a girl on ym antenatal thread that is pg with her third and thinking about trying it this time round.
There is nothing you can do now about the way your DS was fed, but there is something you can do about any future Dc's so it's down to you.

I found feeding DS1 very difficult and didn't have the support around me that I needed. He moved onto formula pretty quickly much to my disappointment.

I fed DS2 for over a year as it was so much easier seond time round and I am still feeding 12m old DS3.

You learn a lot of things with your first child and will do things differently with subsequent children but it doesn't mean that you're being unfair.