Sure I've been incredibly evangelical about it, and telling anyone who'll listen, as I'm so proud of both of us for getting it sorted out!
So, my DD was terrible at sleeping. Wouldn't have a daytime nap every day, and when she did, was very short, unles she dozed in the car. She also woke, like I said, anything from 1-4 times a night, every night, sometimes more. The only 'core' sleep she had was in the evening before I went to bed, for about 3 hours. Although again, often she'd wake 1-2 times in the eveing between bedtime (19:30) and my bedtime somewhere near midnight. The older the child the better and quicker too. * months will probably take longer than we did as DD is over a year old. Maybe it takes you almost a week, maybe not.
Firstly,this is going to be a LONG post! Secondly, the book ( Toddler Taming by Dr Christopher Green) suggested not doing it if you know your child is unwell, or teething.
Pick a night that you know you will be able to follow it through on, i.e. if you are already excessively tired ( like thats not permanent ha ha! ) And a run of nights, again, when you know you can follow it through.
THe principle, briefly, is like controlled crying, but trust me, its not the same, as I tried that, as last resort before we did this, as I was just at the end of my tether. I couldn't do CC. I couldnt just go into her, and see her crying hysterically and not pick her up, or comfort her which is what yo do in CC... Cry it out, is different again, when you don't even go into them, they literally just cry, until they can't cry anymore and go to sleep.
Psych yourself up for it. Be prepared, that you will have a bad bad night, the first night. Have magazine, book, Mumsnet, tv whatever you like, ready, to keep you occupied and awake.... also, cups of tea, food etc... I had the lot, all ready set up in the lounge.
I also, decided to get her to sleep the usual way initially. And to start this, when she woke for the first time, in the night. She woke at 2am. you could start at bed time of course. I did at bedtime the next day.
this is how to do it...
Before you go to bed, decide how long, the first time, you are happy to let her cry for. I decided on 2 minutes. You could decide on as little as 30 seconds, or as long as 15 mins. Its entirely up to you, but, I suggest starting with a really short time first, and build up....
When you first hear her awake, look at the clock, write down the time. Leave her crying, for exactly the time you decided on. In this case, 2 mins.
GO into her after precisely 2 minutes ( the book stresses how important exact timing is )
Pick her up, cuddle her, kiss her, stroke her, what ever you want to do ( NOT feeding though ) to calm her down. It may take you to sit down and rock her, and sing to her. This can take as long as needs be.
As SOON as she stops crying, and is calm. Put her back into her bed, tuck her in etc... Say good night or whatever you say, and LEAVE the room. trust me, its not easy. She will stand up shout, scream, cry, everything she can to get you back.
Look straight at the clock, write down the time you leave, and add 2 minutes to the original time you left her for. This is where CC and this differs. this way, you leave it small amounts, gradually gradually building up, always comforting, reassuring showing them love.
Go into the lounge or where ever. I'd suggest not going back to bed, as you will fall asleep, like I did the first night I started, so gave up, and started properly about 2 nights later. have a digital clock next to you, time 4 minutes.
Go back in, go straight to her, cuddle, soothe, etc. AS soon as quiet and calm, again, walk straight out, stop at door, say night night, and leave. Shut the door if needs be.
Continue with this, adding 2 minutes to each timing. until, she has gone back to sleep. It only took half an hour for us the first night, from start to finish. I was prepared for it being hours! I actually had a notepad out, wrote down the time I went in, then the time I left, then the time I would need to go back in. etc this really helped to a) keep me awake! B) help me see the progress.
She was never crying for more than 7 minutes. At any time. 7 minutes is not a long time at all. might sound it, but its really not. Put into perspective, think about in the day time, when you are doing things like cooking etc... you would leave her to cry infront of you for longer than that, if you were in the middle of something, or you'd never get anything done. Its about the time it takes to walk to kitchen, boil kettle and make a cup of tea.
TIPS:
*Every time she wakes, start fresh, each time. Dont pick up, where you left off. Start back at your initial 2 minutes or 5 mins, what ever you start with.
*Each night again, start fresh, from the start.
Heres how it went for us:
First night, lasted just over half an hour, with me returning to her 4 times. The longest she cried was 7 mins. She would cry as soon as I left the room, and for a bit after, then she'd stop for a bit, and start just towards the end of the timing again, meaning, I did go back in to her. Obviously, if she stops before the end of the timing, dont go in! even if she's not asleep, leave her be. Until she starts again. Stay up, until she's asleep. properly. She also woke another time that night, at about half 4 ish. It only took 2 returns and a really short time this time.
Second night, lasted about 20 minutes. I returned to her again 4 times I think. She woke twice again that night, but only for 5 mins each time I think. I only went in once, each time anyway. She woke at half 6 ish when I did feed her as felt it reasonable she would be thirsty by then, and she went straight back to sleep until half 8!
third night. Lasted 10 mins I think, can't quite remember now Anyway I went back to her once. I think. It was so short, I don't think I had time to write it all down.
forth night: She just went to bed, at bed time, with out crying at all. Which was a first ever since she was born!
Now, she goes to bed every night, with little to NO crying, if at all. She wakes up, and doesn't cry or shout for us, she just sits up and chats or reads to her animals in her cot. She has a nap mid morning, and after lunch, for nearly 2 hours!
I have a different baby girl here. It was SO worth it
To sum up:
Choose min time you are happy to leave your DD for.
eg. 2 minutes.
Leave for 2 minutes
Go to comfort her. and leave when calm.
Add 2 minutes to original time. 2 + 2 = 4 minutes.
Next time 4 +2 = 6 minutes 6+2= 8 minutes and so on... ( i know, you can add on two with out my help )
Keep going until not crying at all.
It works, because, you are reinforcing that it is bed time, and time to sleep. you are constantly showing them love. you are comforting them. they are not crying for long periods of time.
Eventually, they learn that they will get a cuddle when they wake up, but that eventually, its not really worth crying as its not really for that long, they might as well go back to sleep.
Good luck, if you have any other questions, do ask!