Failing at feeding, and a question about formula

[Sherida]

I'm having huge problems breast feeding and feel like a bit of a failure for that. I'm currently having to feed my 2 week old DD expressed breast milk. I've got a really good pump which I'm using at least every 4 hours if not sooner, but all I ever get is 3oz a time. The problem is, DD drinks more than that, roughly 3.5 to 4oz (and at one point 5oz!). I'm really depressed because I can't provide enough milk to satisfy her. Doc says she's healthy but I can't keep up with her! I have to alternate feeds with formula and breast milk otherwise she will be hungry.

How long does milk supply take to increase if I'm draining my breasts every 3-4 hours? And if I have to formula feed, which formula is best to use? Obviously I want to stay away from cough evilnestle cough.

I'm really depressed because I feel like I'm not doing things well enough, and can't provide enough milk to satisfy my baby. Please help me oh wise Mumsnetters!

It takes 24 hours to build milk up. So feed her little and often for a day and drink gallons of water, and make sure you drop your shoulders when feeding/pumping to make you relax. That is when your milk will flow better. Don't worry, because the stress will dry up your supply.
Do you have to use the pump all the time, or can you breast feed her some of the time?

Is there a reason that you can't feed directly from the breast? That is the best way to get stimulation for increased milk production. A baby will get far more milk from a breast than a pump can unfortunately. Have you had advice from anyone in RL? MW, bfing counsellor?

If you can't feed her directly for whatever reason, ensure you get lots of skin to skin time with her, so spend time cuddling in bed with a lovely naked (well maybe a nappy!) baby, and this will help.

Are you expressing overnight? You need to do this in order to keep producing maximum levels of milk, as babies naturally feed overnight at this age. Early morning is another good time. Try expressing and (bottle) feeding at the same time, that might help get more milk down.

I'm sure you'll get more replies from experienced pumpers soon. There are people around who've exclusively fed their LO's ebm, so it can be done You're not a failure whatever happens. You're putting a lot of effort into trying to feed your baby bm, I was very lucky, both of my DS's fed very easily, so it was almost the easy option for me.

I must go for a bit now, but you are not a failure.

Having struggled with mixed feeding ds1 for his first 4 weeks and found expressing similarly frustrating, I will come back and help you later. (And we moved, not to ff, but to exclusive bf after those difficult 4 weeks an ds1's 3rd birthday is looming with no sign of self-weaning. It can be done )

Sherida, please call one of the bf helplines.

You don't need gallons of water to breastfeed and the stress will not dry up your milk - people say this a lot on mumsnet, but it is not correct - superjo, I am sure you mean well but incorrect info does not help.

Sherida, your problems can be resolved with the right support and help - you are in a sticky patch but you can come out of it. There is normally no need to express and bf direct is usually more effective...hope you make those phone calls

Thanks for all the suggestions. I really can't bf and DD seems to be feeding 3oz every 2 hours now!!!!! Even if I could bf I'm not sure I could keep up with that! A growth spurt maybe? Will call one of the helplines later on so thanks for that.

Is the latch not good or why can't you do it? Please call one of the helplines to talk it over (eg NCT's 0870 444 8708). At 2 weeks it's not too late to get BF well and fully established. I had huge doubts about quantities too but DD1 was fine with what she got, even if always slightly below average centiles.

Sherida, you are NOT a failure. Remember it's not just you here that is learning a new skill so is dd and unlike the past where it was not uncommon, it's not like there are wet nurses around to help out

How did your call go? If you are unsure/feel concerned about what you hear and you still want to bf, stick with it, you can find a way to make it work out.

My first weeks were hell too.. I had DH make a call for me, to learn ds was normal turned out I had mastitis (which I didn't learn from the call) and I gave ebm or one formula a night to help me (ds1 was ff, so had less concern doing a top up, though it did come with some guilt).. it was more of a psychological thing to help me cope (I wish I was great and had determination like all mums who do exclusively bf ) but at 7wks today things are soo much better. I am not suggesting you go formula, just giving you my experience of how I got through the 2 or 3 week stage (all a bit blurry as to when he had his first bottle) Though the house is a state, I've been wearing the same socks for 3 days in a row been putting DS1, DS2 and DH first, yesterday evening was very tempted to bin the bf,ds2 on me for soo long, (but then had 7hrs sleep as ds2 slept through! (or rather he may have been awake but there was no crying!), then I felt guilty about this) and this morning he is asleep again after a fab feed and I feel better about things.

Do you have another child to look after? Do you feel like you don't get much done? If you do, I know that feeling and it's hard if there is no one around to help even in small ways. Hang in there, I hope you get some support.