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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Is it ok to stop counting the ounces now?

25 replies

Lollibert · 17/08/2023 16:23

My baby is 3 1/2 months weighs 14lb the daily recommendations of ounces is causing so much stress trying to make sure that she drinks the recommended amount of ounces it’s causing arguments between me and my partner if he doesn’t remember how much he fed her or if he didn’t make sure she drank all her bottle I just don’t want to do it anymore my baby even has bottle aversion because of it can I just let her drink what she wants and not count it is that ok I don’t want her to lose weight usually if I don’t think she’s drank enough I dream feed but if I’m being honest my baby rarely cries for her bottle because I feed her every 4hrs whether she cries or not one time I didn’t and she went 5 1/2 hours and I got worried and fed her my other worry is she won’t drink enough if she goes too long without eating

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 17/08/2023 20:13

Lollibert · 17/08/2023 16:23

My baby is 3 1/2 months weighs 14lb the daily recommendations of ounces is causing so much stress trying to make sure that she drinks the recommended amount of ounces it’s causing arguments between me and my partner if he doesn’t remember how much he fed her or if he didn’t make sure she drank all her bottle I just don’t want to do it anymore my baby even has bottle aversion because of it can I just let her drink what she wants and not count it is that ok I don’t want her to lose weight usually if I don’t think she’s drank enough I dream feed but if I’m being honest my baby rarely cries for her bottle because I feed her every 4hrs whether she cries or not one time I didn’t and she went 5 1/2 hours and I got worried and fed her my other worry is she won’t drink enough if she goes too long without eating

Do you mean that you're waking her at night every 4 hours?

Original poster
Lollibert · 18/08/2023 05:52

No during the day if she’s asleep that is @SiouxsieSiouxStiletto

OP posts:
Wishiwasatailor · 18/08/2023 05:58

If she’s putting on weight, having regular wet and dirty nappies you can feed on demand and be led by her how much she wants. If she was breast fed you’d have no idea how many ounces she was having. Try not to dress too much, she won’t let herself starve and she’ll naturally settle into feeding to an amount she is happy with

WandaWonder · 18/08/2023 06:37

My baby slept 12ish hours a night no way on the list planet was I waking them, I would hate to be woken to be fed so I would never wake a sleeping baby

My baby fed when awake only so every 4 hours day time if awake or when woke from a nap naturally

mondaytosunday · 18/08/2023 06:50

I never counted ounces as breast fed. If baby is content, growing and putting on weight I'd forget about counting!

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 18/08/2023 08:19

Agree with the others, if she's bright and alert at times, meeting her milestones and following her centile curves I'd stop counting the ounces. Just feed her when she wants it.

She should never be finishing a bottle anyway, they should always have a little left so that you know they've had enough.

If she's got a bottle aversion, have you read Rowena Bennett's book?

It does sound as though you are a bit overly anxious about her feeding, have you told your HV how you're feeling or spoken to the PANDAS Foundation?

Original poster
Lollibert · 18/08/2023 11:18

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto she is gaining and meeting milestones,I make sure that she drinks the daily recommended amount even if I have to sit the entire day and dedicate all my time to feed her I don’t even go anywhere anymore because she drinks less when out and about she lost weight once that’s when I panicked and started feeding her as much as possible she doesn’t show feeding qeues like she doesn’t root or suck her hands or smack her lips and I’m wondering if that’s just the way she is or if I’ve never let her get hungry enough to show feeding queus I’ve never seen her show feeding queus since she was about a week old she was fed on a schedule whether she was hungry or not she’s my first baby and when it gets to 4hrs mark I get really anxious if she hasn’t woken for a bottle so I dream feed, when she’s awake she drinks a very small amount before refusing anymore then she wants the bottle 10-20 mins later has a few sucks spits it out cries again for more milk she does this until she drinks about 6oz and it sometimes takes 2hrs or more of her basically snacking drinking a few sips every few minutes and after about 2hrs if this she’s she seems satisfied it’s very stressful I wish she would take a bottle normally and I have a feeling that if I just let her get hungry herself if I let her control when she eats she might drink more from her bottle before spitting it out but I’m so afraid that she’ll nap too long or go too long without a bottle and then I won’t be able to get her to drink the daily recommend amount for her weight which is 14lbs she still doesn’t show feeding queus I just test by giving her the dummy to see if she’s satisfied by it or not when she wants the bottle she hungrily sucks the dummy then cries but if she just wants her dummy then she’ll settle with it and I have told the HV and she said she knows it’s hard but the good news is it will only get better and in 10 weeks I can feed her solids and she said some babies are just better with solids than they are with bottles

OP posts:
luckbealadytonight · 20/08/2023 15:29

I would use the recommendation as a guideline, but basically just let her drink what she wants.

All babies are different, and if she's gaining and happy then there's no need to force it.

That will cause you more problems in the long run.

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 20/08/2023 16:45

So the rule she lost weight, what time frame was it in and how much did she lose?

Original poster
Lollibert · 21/08/2023 03:31

She lost at about 8 weeks old that was when I started feeding on demand instead of schedule she dropped from 75th to just under the 50th so I put her back on schedule feeding she was weighed 2 weeks later and went just above the 50th then weighed 2 weeks after that and her weight was a little higher then she was weighed a couple of days ago and she is nearly back on the 75th

OP posts:
Crackl3andpop · 21/08/2023 04:29

All babies are different and it’s natural to worry about your baby.

I would say speak to your GP and ask their advice. You could just have a baby whose not particularly hungry…

My 12 week old rarely has the recommended amounts due to reflux and we can’t overfeed to make up for what is thrown up as she won’t take it. She’s putting on weight and a happy little thing. They’re all different and like others said you wouldn’t know if you breastfeed.

maybe stop weighing them all the time, limit it to once a week and get out of the house and do things together so you enjoy the time while they’re still little.

Wishiwasatailor · 21/08/2023 05:46

How much is she actually having a day? has She always been on the 75th centile? Crossing 1 centile isn’t necessarily too worrying when you are changing how she is feeding as long as she is having regular wet and dirty nappies and the weight stabilises and doesn’t cross 2 centiles in 2 months.

HappiDaze · 21/08/2023 06:03

Why are you counting ounces ?

What a pointless thing to do unless they're losing weight

I just fed them and they'd stop once they'd had enough and that was that

HappiDaze · 21/08/2023 06:06

Stop stressing about it

Your baby can sense your stress, a lot, and it's really not fair on baby or your DH

You're doing fine

You're baby has put weight on

Relax, breathe

It will be fine

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 21/08/2023 06:28

Lollibert · 21/08/2023 03:31

She lost at about 8 weeks old that was when I started feeding on demand instead of schedule she dropped from 75th to just under the 50th so I put her back on schedule feeding she was weighed 2 weeks later and went just above the 50th then weighed 2 weeks after that and her weight was a little higher then she was weighed a couple of days ago and she is nearly back on the 75th

So she's not actually lost weight then, she's just drifted from the 75th to the 50th? This is very, very normal and not something you need to be worried about at all.

Dropping centiles is only a concern if they've dropped 2 not one.

My DD did drop 2 but has stayed there for the next 16 years so not a concern at all. She was born quite heavy and I'm very slim so I wast expecting her to stay in a high centile anyway

Lots of babies move up or down from their original Centile, find a new one and stick with it.

I think you need to trust your baby a little more and stop counting the ounces.

Don't take it from me though, tell your HV how anxious you are about your baby's feeding and ask fir some support Flowers

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 21/08/2023 06:34

maybe stop weighing them all the time, limit it to once a week and get out of the house and do things together so you enjoy the time while they’re still little

Great advice in your post but I'd recommend getting LO weighed just once a month, that's what's recommended in the Red Book Wink

luckbealadytonight · 21/08/2023 06:44

You are weighing far too often, baby's weight is going to move up and down a little bit all the time.

You will know if she's dropping weight to be concerned about.

For context, my 18mo has been weighed 4 times ever.

You need to trust yourself and your baby.

You can still feed on a schedule if that's what you're used to, but stop counting oz's, stop weighing and let baby take what she needs.

Bottles feeds should be quite quick, definitely no longer than 30 mins with breaks to burp. Just stop when she becomes less enthusiastic.

Crackl3andpop · 21/08/2023 06:53

Ooo I didn’t know the red book said that, I feel less terrible now that we’ve only weighed baby once since she’s been born and that was at a baby class 😂. I always forget it has actually useful information in!

StampOnTheGround · 21/08/2023 06:57

We counted ounces constantly, for months and months - it was stressful!

DS was never that interested in milk and he was flying down the centiles, it was tough. We did tend to get the recommended in him often, he was always just going to fly down the centiles anyway (born on the 98th, now nicely settled on just above the 15th). He did go down as low as the 3rd, but at 9 months and starting to eat loads he found his true line!

Original poster
Lollibert · 21/08/2023 08:46

@luckbealadytonight it was the HV who was weighing as she wanted to keep an eye on her weight

OP posts:
Pizzaandsushi · 21/08/2023 11:16

A lot of babies aren’t meant to be on the percentile they were born.
mine was born over 70th percentile and rapidly dropped to 20-30th and stayed there until weaning. He never went above 5 ounces to feed and never drank the “recommended” daily amount for the day but he was alert, had lots of wet and dirty nappies and moved around a lot.
Focus on the mood of your baby and not ounces and scales. Trust your baby will drink what they want and if they loose a bit of weight, maybe that’s the percentile she is meant to be on. It’s only dropping two or more percentiles with constant non-feeding that is a worry.
All counting ounces and long feeds will do is cause a bottle aversion that is not easy to reverse.

Original poster
Lollibert · 21/08/2023 17:43

@Pizzaandsushi i didn’t know that a lot of babies don’t stay on the percentile they are born on if I’d of known to begin with then I would never of stressed so much I feel a lot better now tbh I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders the HV didn’t tell me that a lot of babies don’t stay on their percentile it made me more worried when she booked more appointments to keep an eye on her weight

OP posts:
Pizzaandsushi · 21/08/2023 18:09

@Lollibert
yes the size of baby at birth is largely dependent on the environment in utero. Good placenta contributes to larger babies but then afterwards babies will settle on a curve that is more suited to their actual genetics. Some babies can be born small but shoot up afterwards and others like mine do the reverse.
I was equally obsessive with ounces and weight in the first 6 months. I used to track everything on an app and stress when he’d be even 2 ounces off the “recommended”. It ruined my maternity leave and definitely kickstarted my pnd.
looking back now I don’t know why I didn’t just let it be and let him drink what he wanted because that was obviously what he wanted to drink and he is such an energetic little boy.
It’s like with adults, my partner can polish off a burger, fries and pizza in one sitting whereas I can fit maybe half of that and we really aren’t that dissimilar in weight (he’s definitely more muscle than me
though 😂). Babies are the same. They can only fit in as much as they can.

katmarie · 21/08/2023 18:36

My dd dropped 2 centiles by 12 weeks old. She's stuck firmly to that new centile ever since, she's nearly 4 now, and thriving.

Mummy9431 · 08/10/2024 22:25

Hey, how did things turn out with your little one in end?
currently going through same and it’s driving me crazy!

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