Please help!
My baby is now 8.5 weeks old. When I was pregnant I very much had a "if breastfeeding works then it does, if it doesn't it doesnt" attitude. My first child was completely formula fed by choice but it led me down a dark road and I really regretted never even trying.
I knew i wanted to try this time but we had a really rough start. Readmitted to hospital on day 5 due to weight loss and dehydration. Tongue tie diagnosed, cut on day 8. Feeding went great for 2 days and then awful again. By day 16 I phoned midwife unit because I woke up and I could barely wake my baby she was so lethargic I couldn't get her to latch at all. Midwife tried for 2 hours, tickling her feet, stripping her off, changing position etc. Went back into hospital and I broke down and decided I couldn't do it anymore. We moved to formula but I kept pumping maybe 3 or 4 times a day and would get around 3oz.
We have also tried to go back to breastfeeding, at 5 weeks I spent a whole week inside trying to get her to relatch, which she did so well. But she was still wanting a 5oz bottle afterwards. We kept going though and I was also pumping 8 times a day and through the night even though she sleeps through and still my supply only slightly increased. After breaking down again because my other child was getting zero attention we completely came away from the breast and I carried on pumping maybe 5 times a day. This is where we are currently at and I get 5oz per day, so roughly 1oz per pumping session.
It's seeming like a lot of work for not even 1 bottle a day for her but the thought of letting my milk dry up is making me cry. I just don't know what to do. I'm so sad it didn't work out for us and I feel like I should have tried harder. I'm so angry with myself that I gave up on day 16 and let my supply tank and now i can't seem to get it to increase. Will I love with the guilt forever? She's my last baby too so I'm never going to get the change again.
Thank you if you managed to read it all.