Angry baby! Please help!

[FlosstyTheSnowman]

I know I posted similar before but the problem is still ongoing. DS becomes very agitated at early morning feeds. We were up for 2 and a half hours with him from 2 am onwards last night. He had a huge feed but just wouldn't go back to sleep. He does this or similar every night, with varying levels of what seems like frustration.

He gets his hands in the way of latching on, and will put them back in the way everytime I move them. I understand that he dosen't know they are his hands but he does seem to use them quite well! He shakes his head from side to side when I am trying to latch him on. He won't let me guide him to latch on, he has to be in charge. I know this is wrong, but the last time I made him latch on he bit down really hard on my nipple! It is not an experience I'm particularly keen to repeat. When he is latched on he doesn't calm straight away, instead he uses his hands to push and pull my breast. He does at times push himself away when he is still latched on. A little mini straight jacket seems very tempting at these times !

Basically I am tired and fed up and worried what is causing this. I don't think it is wind, he only burps occaisionally during winding. It normally occurs when we try and go to bed. Last night I thought I had been clever by managing to transport him into the bedroom and settle him down without him waking. He co sleeps with us. He won't ever settle in his moses basket. As I said in my other post I lie there at night wishing for a bottle of formula, which I really don't want, and know wouldn't really work. The night before I gave DS a bottle of my expressed milk, but he would not suck on the teat at all and did eventually settle without really having drunk any.

I have tried putting him down when he gets like this and picking him up again after a few minutes. We have tried to cuddle him, rock him and settle him down to sleep, none of which work. Does anyone have any ideas how I can help DS to calm down or what might be causing this behaviour? I am really fed up.

Maybe he's not hungry? I'm really sorry about how frustrated you are, because I've been there. My ds didn't settle in the night either and it was AWFUL. I'm still quite traumatised by it - dh more so. Horrific. But all the same I don't think your baby is 'angry' - I think you are - I know I was! Very very frustrating.

Have you tried swaddling Flossty?

Oh, and how old is he?

Do you mean wrapping him up in the blanket? I did when he was first born but he would just kick them off. No I don't really think he is hungry, but he will suck ferverently (sp) on a finger, more so than on me IYSWIM. A dummy hasn't settled him the few times I have tried before and I don't like them!!

Sorry, 5 weeks.

I would recommend a dummy for a sucky baby. You'll learn to love them if they give you some sleep! And they do children no harm, honest.
I had real trouble swaddling but will make more effort with my next baby. If you do it right, they can't kick it off - and remember they aren't capable of knowingly kicking off covers at that age - most of the movements aren't planned!

I'll give one a try again tonight but he has just lain there waiting for me before when I have tried! I never had any opinion on them before he arrived, but hated it as soon as I put it in his little mouth!

yes - that's what I mean - it might be worth another go if you haven't tried it for a few weeks. There's a theory that they miss the comfort of the confined space of the womb at this age and if you're sure that's it's not hunger / wind etc., then the kind of physical agtitation you're describing might be related to something like this. If you can get him latched on whilst swaddled that would solve the pushing / pulling problem too.

If he pushes off a normal blanket when swaddled, you could try something like \link{
www.thebabycatalogue.co.uk/main_product_info.asp?prodCode=BW2003&GROUP1=PRODSEARCH&SearchType=KEY&Searchtxt=swaddle\this}

sorry - link not showing up properly - the bit in the middle where 'product' is underlined should read 'main underscore symbol product underscore symbol info'

Not sure that it would be that much of a help now I think about it, DS came out of me waving and can't stand to have his hands covered at all! It is a stuggle to keep them covered even in this cold weather. Thanks for the link and your help though!

how old is he, Flossty?

my dd (4 months) is not really 'angry' but she is certainly strong-willed. fwiw, two things that have helped me a lot: when she wouldn't settle in her crib at night (went through a phase of crying when she was put down and taking ages to get to sleep) I found that a milky piece of muslin calmed her down - she would snuggle up to it and I could whip it away once she was properly asleep. this worked a treat and she then found her thumb and switched allegiances, though I still occasionally give her a piece of my clothing if she is restless.

re the feeding - are you feeding her sitting up or lying down? my dd almost refuses to feed when cradled in my arms (she is very big and active) and I now feed her lying down even during the day - she is much calmer and I feel it has something to do with her being 'in control' - it also helps to slow the flow down if you have a tendency to spurt (which I do, most embarassing ). Worth a try perhaps - though later you may have to deal with a baby who kicks up a fuss when you try to feed her any other way (my case )

BIG vote here in favour of swaddling for reasons spelled out by phatcat. definitely calmed down dd. how about swaddling from underarms down, so hands are free? we did that with dd from about a month.

they can shock themselves into alertness by jerks, IYSWIM

Ta phatcat! Just ordered that swaddling thing for daughter-to-be. Couldn't get the hang of it last time.

Hi, he's five weeks old. I have tried feeding laying down, I do have a tendancy to spurt too!! Anything within a metre had better get out of the way if DS comes off early on in a feed! But I have tried lying down too, find it quite awkward and DS seems to come off even more often from there, so not sure really. He will latch himself back on, but I feel I should be guiding him more really. He definately hasn't learnt what a nipple is yet, he roots around and will suck anything! He has found his thumb on occaisions, the rest of the time he seems to find his entire hand will do! I will try and wrap him up again. The reason I didn't was I thought it was only supposed to be helpful for the first couple of weeks? But anything is worth a shot! Thanks Bakedpotato. One wrapped up baby with dummy tonight!! Thank you, I'll let you know how things go.

Flossty, your DS sounds just like my little boy who is 6 weeks old so believe me I know what you're going through.

These are just my thoughts...but it sounds like you may have a fast let down, I get the spurting thing too and a BF counsellor suggested that. She got me to try feeding using a nipple shield which really helped me. In fact I couldn't actually get DS latched on..but that's another story.

I find that one boob seems to really flow and one is 'normal', don't know if you find this.

Also, don't know how much your DS weighs but you could maybe try a baby sleeping bag ? DS seems to like his.

Forgot to say Flossty - good luck, hope it goes well/went well tonight (depending on when you're reading this obviously).

Cloud, I am surporised your health visitor is that confident about what babies should and shuldn't do....your baby sounds normal to me, and one way of making life easier for you might be to accept that this is the way he is for the moment.

The pick-up-put-down method of stopping a baby crying is surely not designed for babies as young as this????

Hope others will come on and tell you their babies are doing/have done the same.....it really is normal

Swaddling. Square cellular blanket, fold almost in half from diamon into a triangle. Place baby on top with head over top. Take one arm and hold it down in front or by side, and firmly wrap one corner around so you can tuck it around his back. Then pull the other side around, and you have a nice skittle shaped baby whose little arms won't flail around whilst feeding. Always calmed my "too frantic to latch on baby". Sometimes as somone has suggested already just tightly wrapping their tummies helps (as we are "not allowed" to put them on their fronts to sleep - because they still feel that nice comforting pressure.

have you heard of "the no cry sleep solution" by elizabeth pantley, it's a fantasic alternative to gina ford style techniques so i've heard, also some recent research has suggested that babies who go out for a walk between 2-4 in the afternoon also sleep better, something to do with daylight and seratonin levels.