Hi everyone,
(sorry, really long post ahead)
At this point in my breastfeeding journey I've come to accept that there's probably nothing I can do to resolve my problems, so I'm posting not so much for tips as for sympathy I guess! And out of curiosity to see if others have been through similar.
For context: I have three children. The first I breastfeed for over two years with NO ISSUES at all (not even the slightest pain at the beginning). The second I breastfed for two years with pain the WHOLE time. And I've recently given birth to my third...
He was born two weeks ago in a planned homebirth. Everything was normal and my son latched well on within an hour. My milk came in quite quickly, but within a few days it hurt every single time I breastfed. It's always the same: intense latching on pain that feels like glass on my nipples, which subsides a bit as the feed goes on but DOES NOT go away. It feels like my nipples have been rubbed with sandpaper. Between feeds my nipples hurt to the extent that I can't stand anything touching them (although there is no bleeding). My older son, who is 2.5, was breastfeed for two years with the EXACT same pain until he was weaned completely. That's right, two years of painful breastfeeding until the very last feed... It was truly horrible. He was born during the pandemic so it was difficult to get face-to-face help, but I did have a telephone session with an IBLCE lactation consultant and she was going on the assumption that I had a bad latch. I actually never thought the latch was bad. My midwife thought his latch looked good, and I, as an experienced breast-feeder, have never had latch issues. I am confident that I know what a good latch looks and feels like. However, everything I read said that nipple pain was almost certainly due to a bad latch, so I was fixated on changing that. Now, that did not help, because, well, there was nothing actually wrong with the latch. (I have really become critical of this idea that if it hurts it's because of a bad latch...that's not my experience and many women seem to feel the same!)
I also ruled out other possible causes of pain such as thrush, tongue-tie, etc. This is definitely not it. I tried lanolin, nipple shields, etc. Nipple shields help somewhat but they only lessen the pain a bit, they don't eliminate it. And they are so annoying.
I was so desperate that I actually asked two friends of mine to nurse my second child once (he was some weeks old) so that I could determine whether the problem was him or me. My friends felt absolutely nothing wrong with the suckling! Yesterday, I asked my good friend (who's still breastfeeding her own daughter) to latch on my third child. Again, she said everything was absolutely fine!!
So at this point I've realized that the problem must be with my anatomy...I don't know why it was different with my daughter, after all, they are the same breasts! My theory is that my nipples, which are relatively flat, are being pulled back and stretched during latching on, and this is the cause of my pain. Maybe for some women, like me, the skin is just not that elastic?
I'm so upset that I might have to wean my son off the breast, because I just can't take it anymore!! Now I've got a toddler to look after as well, it's all too much. I'm thinking of pumping exclusively (pumping doesn't hurt me) or switching to formula.
I'm making an appointment to see a lactation consultant in person this week, but I am not getting my hopes up. After all, if this is an anatomical problem like I think, what can she do?
I'd really like to hear about the experiences of any mums here who breastfed for a long period of time with unresolved nipple pain! From reading lots of posts here on the topic, I understand it's common for breastfeeding to hurt (even with a good latch!) for up to 8 weeks, followed by pain-free feeding. Are there some people who experience pain for months on end, or worse, permanently? What about with subsequent children? I know it's early days, but I'm afraid to have any more babies if this is what breastfeeding will always be like for me.
(Note: I live in Germany so any UK-based advice doesn't apply to me!)
TIA!