Has anyone EBF first child/ren then chose to bottle or mix feed?

[bagforlifeamnesty]

DD1 struggled with latch after traumatic birth and jaundice and I was beyond despair that I couldn’t get her to EBF. In the end I mainly expressed and bottle fed breastmilk with the odd bottle of formula although from about 3 months I managed to get her to breastfeed at night for comfort. I pumped 6-8 times a day for a YEAR and it honestly nearly ended me. I then stopped pumping and continued to direct breastfeed at night until I weaned at 20 months.

DD2 also jaundice so did some expressing to start with and actually also included some formula bottles but she had an intolerance to dairy so we EBF from about 5 weeks onwards. She’s now 26 months and still breastfed. It’s driven me mad to be honest. I was proud that I managed to do it but it becomes a sleep crutch and I’m exhausted and pregnant with DC3.

Seriously considering bottle feeding this time but I know I’d feel too guilty not to breastfeed at all if I know I can manage it. So I’m thinking this time round, maybe 6 weeks of EBF with a couple of expressed bottles a day. Then switch those bottles to formula (I hate pumping). Then at about 4 or 5 months start to transition to just bottles and drop the BF by 6 months. Has anyone done similar out of choice after having successfully breastfed older DC? I have been breastfeeding or pregnant for the last 5 years and I don’t know if I can face another god knows how long of breastfeeding.

I mixed fed from birth to 3 months. At 3 months I'd had enough but could have bf for longer I just didn't want to. Word of warning..under no circumstances leave it to 6 weeks. They will not take a bottle. There is a reason that they say leave it til 6 weeks and that's because by then your stuffed.
I just gave a bottle of formula last thing at night and introduced more when I wanted to cut down breast feeding.

Why don’t you start by weaning off your toddler first, if you have a bit of a break you might find you don’t mind breastfeeding baby 3?

I weaned my 2.5yo toddler off while pregnant, and when baby 2 made an appearance I remembered feeding a newborn is actually lovely (compared to a toddler with a full set of teeth).

@7Worfs i have reduced her down to just 1 feed a day now which has been a battle in itself but I’m definitely done now. I’m going to fully wean her this week I think. I think I will be relatively happy to BF a baby but I’m not getting into this thing where it’s the only way they will sleep (yes I know it’s biologically normal) and where I’m the only one who can do anything. I will be going back to work at 9-10 months and I would like to be fully bottle feeding by then I think.

@Northernsoullover Sorry yes that’s what I meant. I will probably have to express and bottle feed in the early days due to jaundice anyway (it’s just how I seem to make babies, they come out very yellow and stay that way for several weeks and sleep so much they won’t feed) so I will probably just keep a couple of daily bottles a feature and just switch from pumped to formula at 6 weeks.

I breastfed my first until 3 years. Second baby was fully formula fed from 2 weeks old. No regrets.
In hindsight breastfeeding really impacted my mental health and I didn't want to do it again. I felt trapped & like I couldn't stop because baby was happy & I didn't want to put them through the distress of losing their comfort.

Baby 2 is happy & healthy. Im just as attached as is he to me. Most importantly im happier & more calm which is benefiting the whole family.

@blahblahlandgoogoodoll Thank you that’s interesting. It’s the same for me in a way. With my first the damage to my MH stemmed from the feeling of failure at not being able to EBF and trying desperately to pump for so long. With my second it was the opposite and my mental health has suffered because of how reliant she has been on BF, I didn’t have an evening out for literally two years because no one else could put her to bed and she’d wake every 45 mins for milk. So even when I have successfully EBF I have still found it damaging to my MH. I would really like to opt out altogether this time! But I know there are health benefits especially in the early days so I’m willing to do it for a little bit. Not long term though.

Combi fed from 4 weeks. Saved my sanity.

I am very interested in this as I suffered terrible mental health due to the lack of sleep last time. I would like to breast feed but want to know how realistic it is for DH to do some feeds early on. It is so hard feeling you're the only one that can feed them and stopped me falling adulerò from the anxiety 😞

*falling asleep

I’m the opposite, couldn’t BF my first due to a tongue tie with limited support in covid so formula fed from 2 weeks, LO is now two weeks and is BF but I’m also expressing AND doing formula top ups (once a day) due to jaundice / loss of weight beyond normal - has had TT done but I’m actually enjoying the mix feeding so thinking of ditching the pumping and combi feed - those who combi fed what sort of schedule did you do? Did you pump when giving formula? Thanks

@Frankie789 yes for the first few weeks I would pump when giving formula otherwise your supply might dip quite quickly. But then if you’ve pumped you might as well give baby the pumped milk rather than formula otherwise what will you do with it? I guess you could build up a freezer stash.

Hello! I combi-fed my first from 3 months - 6 months.
I then EBF my second until 27 months (when I was 12 weeks pregnant with hyperemesis). While it was lovely, it was also incredibly tough. I couldn’t get her to wean and I was totally depleted. She didn’t sleep until she turned 2 - which I attribute to breastfeeding. She also has CMPA and a soy allergy so I dropped those allergens from my mostly vegetarian diet when she was 3 months. I can’t remember her first years, I was a zombie and it was a blur, thankful for photos and videos.
With #2 I had two PPH (severe) and managed to increase supply with lots of pumping. I was like a dairy cow at one stage.
My littlest one was born 5 weeks ago. I didn’t want to breastfeed when pregnant with them. I was touched out, I’d been through the mill with hyperemesis, but I started to, guilt being a major factor.
Anyway, I felt something was wrong with my supply in hospital so topped up with formula. You can imagine the midwives reaction given my history of successfully breastfeeding 1 & 2. #3 lost 11% of their weight in 2 days. I defy anyone to tell me they only need 1ml of colostrum as some midwives did when I sought reassurance. My baby was crying a lot, starving. Anyway, instant stress from trying to breastfeed. Not again.
I would never be able to cope mentally if it had got to a stage of being diagnosed with failure to thrive, so I switched to primarily FF and then when I had to take strong antibiotics, to fully FF.
What an unbelievable difference that decision made to my mental well-being versus EBF in the early days. I finally feel like I’m starting to reclaim myself. Anxiety, something I suffer from, is at an all time low. #3 is content, absolutely thriving and so strong! No signs of CMPA so far either (I didn’t want to nurse l while taking antibiotics as recent studies have suggested that can sensitised them to milk, further altering their gut bacteria). To wrap up, I felt guilty about FF, but as the weeks have passed, that’s disappeared and the benefits have been clear to them, me and my family.
Fed is best.
Everyone I know was formula fed. I know some incredible people.

Have a look at Emma Pickett on Instagram. Really knowledgeable IBCLC who specialises in weaning and weaning older nurselings. Pregnancy can put older children off breastfeeding, but if that doesn’t happen she has some great ways to introduce boundaries that work for you both.

tbh I combi fed one and EBF the other. The EBF was a lot easier. In your case I’d see how you go and perhaps decide that you’ll not do it past 1 this time and work with that in mind.

Hi @Síomha thanks for sharing. That’s interesting that the midwives discouraged you from formula feeding… in my experience they always say you should try breastfeeding but at the slightest hint of any issues are very quick to suggest formula, particularly topping up. Maybe it’s because they don’t have the time and/or training to properly support mums with breastfeeding? Who knows. I’m glad you found something that works for your family.

@Twizbe thanks but I have already weaned my eldest now - I did it the day after starting this thread 😂 to be honest she has managed quite well and her sleep has already improved although it’s still not brilliant. I know what you mean about EBF being easier - I did like not having to faff around with bottles for every feed or to keep pumping like I did with DD1 - but in the long term it has turned out to be more strain on my MH as it has caused DD2 to be totally reliant on me for so long and I haven’t had a break for two years. Every bedtime, every night wake etc has always been me. I’m not prepared to do that to my other two this time round, to never be able to go to them at night if they wake up or they’re poorly because I’m feeding the baby again or because the baby will only settle for me. I know it’s biologically normal but it clearly doesn’t have to be this way - all of the formula fed babies I know would accept mum or dad for settling as clearly they were used to it and didn’t just associate it with boob.

I EBF with my first child - had lots of problems with me getting mastitis multiple times and she having colic, silent reflux and multiple food allergies. The entire year was horrendous and really affected my mental health too.

I'm pregnant again will be FFing from the very start. I feel no guilt and no regrets. This will be best for me, baby and by extension my family.

Also this book on guilt free bottle feeding is worth reading:

www.wob.com/en-gb/books/madeleine-morris/guilt-free-bottle-feeding/9781908281777?cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=19553274428&cq_con=&cq_med=pla&cq_plac=&cq_net=x&gclid=Cj0KCQjwwvilBhCFARIsADvYi7KaFlZlMZiHwvbQeHc6Az5iM7OXXdSIEoWbCa_JRVbvcJCa6ecEuJYaAihnEALw_wcB#GOR006655525

I breastfed my first for 2.5 years. Currently pregnant with number 2 and ive got a massive aversion to anything even brushing past my nipples so I can't imagine ill be breastfeeding this time, I haven't breastfed for nearly 2 years so its not like I haven't had a break