can anyone tell me how they co-sleep? who is where etc?

[Caz10]

as i am really puzzled by this! i'm thinking that it might really help my teensy dd gain weight as she doesn't wake in the nights for feeds. i was, still am tbh, very wary of it as i am a very heavy sleeper. also dd is so small.

but it is something i'm thinking about, esp now that dd sleeps quite happily in her wee grobag, but i have NO idea re how it works! i've read the unicef guidelines etc, and i know dd should be on top of the covers in her grobag, also to the side of me rather than between me and dh. We have no spare room so dh can't move elsewhere.

anyway, things i don't know...

• dd is 10 wks, so not moving much, but will do soon - should i put a guard rail up on my side of the bed (it's not, and can't be, against a wall)
• how ON EARTH do they latch on themselves?! we haven't yet mastered feeding lying down, and the times we've got close i've needed to pull dd in, hold my boob etc. yet i hear people talking about their lo's latching on unbeknown to them in the middle of the night!?!
• can i be under the covers? our house is freezing! but if i am under the covers, then my boobs are under the covers so that gets me back to..how does she latch on?
• if we do manage a lying down feed, dd is quite close in to my armpit (lucky her). do i have to move her away from me at the end of a feed?
• when we have tried feeding lying down, i have to press my boob in so her nose is not squashed into it and she can breathe - i have to be awake to do that, so would i be as well just sitting up anyway?

if anyone could tell me how they co-sleep i would really appreciate it - no detail to small or obvious!!

We used to move our pillows apart and put her between them.

11 weeks is not too old to self latch, they are born with the ability. In India they are pushing a method called breast crawl (I think is the right name) if you google it you should find the video. Basically they put baby on Mummy's chest and allow it to crawl to the breast and self latch. It's amazing to watch.

You will get it and will wonder why you ever had problems.

haven't read the whole thread but wanted to say baout being cold: wear a cardi over you pyjamas. then you don't need the duvet up so high and LO won't get covered.

havnt read thread
but my answers toi your questiuons base don my experiences:
-yes, a guard rail. you wont relax unless youre sure she cant fall out.
-self latching on comes with time and practice. just keep trying to feed laying down and she and you will get the hang of it eventually.
-yes, be under covers, but wear warm top, or cardi - something you can access boobs easily through! then if covers are low, you dont freeze and sieze up your muscles.
-no dont mover her away. she'll be fine. actually, use your instinct; if you feel you want to mover her away, give it a go. but dont feel you have to.
-im pretty sure she wont stay latched on if she cant breathe. but if you do need to be more actively involved int eh feeding at this stage, be assured that she'll get more expert as she grows... you may have some sitting up to go yet, but it should ease up. have lots of pillows and prop yourself up, then gradually slide down or even sleep kin of propped if you like. i suspect, as you and she get more used to it, you'll not be able to stop yourself dozing off again anyway.

it will come. and its ever so nice when it does
good luck!

Agree with verylittlecarrot, I did the C shape when they were smaller so they were always in the hook of my arm. Now my youngest is 13 months I do roll over and he curls round my back. He lets me know if he wants a feed, generally patting my face and saying 'oof oof'.

oh, and I had a cot next to the bed that stopped them falling out with DH on the other side. They have always at least begun the night in the cot, well ds2 would just walk out of the room now if he was put to bed in my bed.

we did what Diane Weisinger calls the "cuddle curl", and still do. ds sleeps in between us, the duvet stretches over him so it's not touching him. but he hates having any covers on him, so a sleeping bag would never work for us! we started off with him in a sidecar cot like this (i'm sure everyone on MN must be fed up of this picture by now!!) and then after we moved just ended up with him in bed with us as there wasn't room for the sidecar cot. we sleep on a mattress on the floor, so no need for bed guard, although i used to line the edge of the bed with bean bags!

as PrettyCandles says when you bf and co-sleep you become so aware of the baby, it's like a different type of sleep. you'll get the hang of it - you just need to persevere!