EBF refusing bottle at 8 weeks

[Rooandtwo]

I know we should have tried at 6 weeks. Before that I felt we were still getting established but then a couple weeks passed and we’ve so much going on with preparing to move, plus I had it in my head that DH had to do it and he’s working of course.

So now we have made 2 attempts and she’s not happy about it. We are probably pretty soft, both of us hate to hear her cry, so they’ve been 5 minute attempts at best. This softly approach allowed me to wean her off nipple shields at 3 weeks so I’m surprised but I suppose lots has changed for her since then.

I’m steeling myself to keep trying but wondered if anyone can advise on what are appropriate methods or not at this age? I’m assuming I can’t skip feeds due to her refusal and try again at the next one? That sounds like we have a routine which we don’t really, just follow her lead, some of which is somewhat consistent.

im going to watch some videos because I’m not convinced I’m confident about how much of the bottle teat she should be taking into her mouth but she has gagged a bit quite quickly when we tried so maybe the angle is off. I’ve seen people recommend to make sure the milk is very warm but no specific temperatures mentioned. The second time we tried to get it very close to 40c but as we are expecting resistance we are only doing about 50ml which means the heat is probably lost quite quickly.

Any advice very gratefully received!

What's the reason for offering bottles? Mine refused until 8 months. But using bottles can cause more problems than they solve at this early stage

And it's totally normal for an 8 week old to have no routine to feeds. You might find this helpful https://www.laleche.org.uk/rhythms-and-routines/

Are you offering expressed milk or formula? I would try offering expressed (ideally freshly expressed in the first instance) and see if she takes it.

Are you expressing or using formula?
Make sure you are out of the room while Dad tries to feed.
You may need a slower flow teat.
I have to say my second never took a bottle or a cup. Never drank formula or cow's milk either. She's 18 now and still has dry cereal 😁

And go out of the room whilst dad feeds.

Mimjumi bottle mimics a nipple. It's a totally different latch and flow to use a bottle and Mimjumi does that. I used it to get my child off bottles for the same reason; it's just like a nipple and the flow is more akin to breastfeeding.

A bottle flow is very fast and this isn't good for reasons I'll leave you to look into.

I fed on demand for 4.5 years and it was the best start I could give her. You can only give them breastmilk for a tiny fraction of their lives and every drop prevents infection and makes the baby healthier and less prone to all types of illnesses.

There's no need to bottle feed either, you can just feed for as long as possible as and when.

I night weaned at age 2 for personal reasons and she also decreased intake due to nursery. You can do it whichever way you want. I do think that bottle can help.

DP/DH would be best giving the bottle without you in the room.

My DS didn’t understand just from seeing a bottle what it was (even when he was much older and used to bottles), it wasn’t until it was actually in his mouth that he realised he was getting fed.

The bottle needs to go quite far in before they can actually suck from it (like a nipple).

We’re offering expressed milk in order that I’m able to have any time off, even just an hour to go for a run or something every few days. I feel guilty about it given it’s upsetting her to try. So I may give up depending how much luck we have through the week.

We are using MAM bottles with the easy start size 1 teats. My let down is quite fast though and she seems to have got the hang of that so wonder if we may actually need to go in the opposite direction gm test wise. We’re not there yet though.

DD1 never, ever took a bottle after I tried at about 8 weeks. Sorry, I know that’s not what you want to hear! But I spent so much time (and money, on different types of bottle) trying and I wish I hadn’t bothered.

in the end she went straight on to cows milk from a cup at about 11 months, and I BFed till 2.5.

Again, sorry that’s not a useful tip on how to do bottles, but my tip is that you might just need to be zen about it not happening!

At that age she should be able to go an hour between feeds, I should think - are you sure it's about milk, not wanting snuggles with you? She's still very tiny!

What happens if you just feed then go out - start with a 20 min walk and see what you can get away with?

Re bottles - I think trying twice isn't very many times tbh, you might need to persist more. Get your DP to give a bottle at the same time each day, without you being anywhere nearby.

I remember that feeling of being overwhelmed and wanting time back - but by the autumn she'll be starting to eat solids, this bit seems like it last forever but it doesn't!

I've 2 children and had 2 lots of nightmares with getting them onto a bottle.

I spent so much money on so many different bottles and teets with DC1, and nothing worked. He actually started off on bottles and we had an equally bad time getting him back to breastfeeding after his tongue tie was fixed. Then he absolutely refused any bottle between 3 and 5 months. Then suddenly, around 5 months, he just randomly happily took the very first bottles we'd ever used. Mixed fed then until 15 months when he wasn't at all interested in breastfeeding and absolutely loved his bottle... Then came the battle to get him off bottles!

DC2 has never ever had a feed from a bottle. From the beginning he would sip at an ounce or two over about an hour if I had to be out at work, but never a full feed. Last time I read a similar thread, I know lots of people said that they will eventually take a bottle if hungry enough- a foster parent commented who takes in babies and said they would eventually, but we just never made him get to that stage. I had to work 10 hours one day (can't remember how old he was, but under 6 months), got home around 11pm and DC2 was in bed with DH, bent double onto DH's lap, just sobbing silently onto him-he'd gone past the screaming stage, but still wouldn't feed from the bottle he had for him. So there's no way we would have pushed it beyond that just to see if he'd eventually take it.

Feeds will space out for you more, and all you can do is regularly try with a bottle (at least once a day) and hope that it comes eventually.