is breastfeeding in reality sore but no health professionals admit this?

[fabmrsv]

apologies if this is mega inflammatory but i am trying to understand the truth re breastfeeding. all the health professionals tell me if i am doing it right it will not be sore yet all my friends say it was sore at least at the beginning? what are other peoples experiences of this? i have just started breastfeeding my newborn and really really want to succeed but despite being told i have latched him on correctly i am finding it quite painful. it does seem to be less so if i can really try and get the nipple in right to the top of my baby's mouth but when i try and do everything they have told me to do it is just proving impossible to do so and i can't work out how to get it further in. the hv and bf counsellor have looked and said he is latched on but whilst they are saying this i am in pain and my experiences so are that health professionals just dont' want to aknowledge that. i do feel at the end of my tether and would like to hear how other people have found breastfeeding and the 'truth' of it

thanks

Haven't had time to read other messages, but just to say I found b'feeding excruciating at first, for several weeks. Partly it was to do with the latch (I went to a bf counsellor and she really helped with that) and party just the way I am (I have v sensitive skin, squeal at the hairdressers even and I don't know if that is linked). The lovely bf counsellor did say that it could be painful at first - she likened it to breaking in new shoes that are a bit tight). By the time dc32 came along I was a pro at the latch but I still had toe-curling pain for the first couple of weeks, just when he latched on. It did go away though, with all 3 and it was totally worth sticking with it, despite many tears at the beginning.

tiktok, I know that.....sorry. re-reading myself makes me see I have used the wrong wording.

tis hard tho to try and say what I mean without having the right words in my head......argh....I am explaining wrong therefore the wrong advise.

I know tho, that for me, it was almost like having friction rub causing the soreness......even tho technically it isn't!

DC32!! Blimey, I have been busy. Dc3, I mean .

I found the pain with BF came and went. I didn;t really experience pain initially, but in the first few weeks I used to have one breast which used to get very engorged from time to time, and DS found it much harder to latch on and used to slide aorund on the nipple which made me sore. I think that kind of soreness might be what you meant, Psycho?

I also experienced pain when DS top teeth came through, which lasted a couple of weeks, and he was obviously a lot older!

I didn't experience any pain at all at other times.

frayedknot.....yes, possibly. I do remember at the time my breats were rock hard and torpedo like....in fact, was in victoria someone (the female comedian), that likened breastfeeding on engorged breasts to trying to latch onto a rockhard beachball???

made me laugh, and it was so true.....and yes, it was that type of soreness that started off my pain and of course it continued as you can;t really have a break from feeding while your nipples heal can you!....you have to wait it out while they heal slowly, or you just toughen up (well, your nipples do at least)

I didn't experience any pain when b/feeding FDS & as a result kept going til 14 months. I think I was very lucky to have a particularly helpful midwife in hospital who took the time to help me to get DS to latch on properly.

Yes it hurts, mine for about the first 5 weeks even though had good latch. mw prescribed lansinoh to help while nipples hardened up. worth persevering though much less faffy and more convenient than bottles for the lazy mum (like me)

frayed knot and psychomum great tip i got for latching onto engorged breast express a little bit first

Yes Psycho, that's exactly what I meant!

My HV also said about pale skin & freckles = sensitive nips...but I never experienced any pain breastfeeding, and I think this is an urban myth. At most, I felt a slight 'pinch' as she latched on for a couple of seconds, but not pain.

What I can say is that when you get a bit further along, you may well find that breastfeeding is a joy and pleasure for both of you.

Congrats on the baby, and good luck with the bf.

yvonneS....fab tip......little late for me as no more babies for me!!!.

I never found it sore at all, no chapped nipples, enjoyed the feeling of let down even though it was quite a powerful sensation, it was like a release I guess.
Did get thrush once, but again, was a minor discomfort.
I know some people have problems and battle through them, and I have a lot of admiration for them. Some people stop, fair enough its their choice.
But just want to make the case, that having bf three dcs, it doesn't have to be painful, difficult, even uncomforatable at all

I found that even though DD was loving BF, and was correctly latched on, yes, it did hurt for the first few weeks and I did have toe curling mastitis 3 times (4 with DS)too. I found a nipple shield (advised by midwife) allowed the nipple to heal (they were cracked too) and I'm certain that it was because they hadn't such an 'outing' and regular use before!

Latching on will/could be different each time you feed when you're first getting used to it - you might change your position at the start a lot more until you feel comfortable etc so might be slightly altering the way the baby latches on without realising.
Once you get more confident, you'll be BF everywhere, answering the door, chatting one handed on the phone etc and it won't hurt at all.

Have you perhaps tried holding your baby with opposite arms - so you hold the baby with your right arm but feed on the left breast? It might provide a more comfortable/easier latch and means the baby's head isn't squashed into your inside elbow.

I've never found it painful (well apart from the odd occasion when I was being lazy with the latch, or when he first gets a new tooth). I also had very good help with getting him latched on in the first few days by MWs

Have only read OP.
I bfed both my DDs and it hurt for about 2 weeks. I think any part of your body would if it was sucked hard almost continually for that long.
I didnt have any problems with the actual feeding, I mean the latch seemed fine and the babies were getting the milk. I didn't have any cracks either just a general soreness and tenderness for the first 2 or 3 weeks. At about 4 mo I had shooting pains on let-down with DD1 which I now know could have been thrush, but didnt then, and they eventually stopped so I didnt do anything about it.
I did find DD2 harder and more uncomfortable to feed but I have the impression her mouth/palate is bony-er IYSWIM and i had less time to dedicate to making sure she was doing it 100% right as DD1 was around and causing distraction.Now DD2(17mo) has teeth it does feel like they are rubbing on my nipples and I think that's because she's used to drinking out a spout cup now and so sucks differently from when she was littler.

I think the general discomfort that some, (or all?) women experience should be talked about more. It would be hard to know, if you weren't confident and well informed, if you were doing it right or not if it was sore.

I think there should be a Gov. sponsored book which contains all the possible problems and solutions to bfeeding Qs. I mean I thought I'd done my homework before I had DD1 but I've learnt some things on here that I've never seen mentioned anywhere else. Isn't it time for the difinitive MN book of bfeeding?

Have read some of the other posts now and I think the huge breadth of experience amoung bfeeding women should be emphathised more in advice from professionals.
I mean chocolateshoes says "I didn't experience any pain when b/feeding FDS & as a result kept going til 14 months."
I fed for 17 months and my experience was that it keeps changing. There are times when it can hurt for whatever reason and others when for weeks or months it is plain sailing. I think it's important to stress that - that it's not just a question of getting it right at the start and then it's plain sailing from then on (tho' lucky you if that was your experience) - it's a constantly evolving thing and problems can come up at any time.
DP hassling me for PC, dont have time to go over what ive written...

I think the advice "if you're doing it right it doesn't hurt" is given (a) to encourage people who may be put off by stories of painful feeding (b) to encourage people who are having latch problems to seek help.

Both of these are good reasons in themselves, but it is a hugely demoralising thing to hear when you are in agony and everyone is telling you that the latch looks fine.

I've been obsessed by this subject ever since my early feeding problems with dd, and consequently question everyone I meet on their breastfeeding experiences. The result of this highly unscientific survey is that

• most people are sore in the first couple of weeks, but it usually gets better fairly early on

• some have really excruciating pain for a longer period from a variety of causes.

• a minority have no pain at all

Also, some women breeze through breastfeeding their first child, then have terrible problems with their second - so it's not all about inexperience. I think it is important to remember this, as when you are having problems it's really easy to feel that it is all your fault for "not doing it right".

Having said all that, I think if you are experiencing pain you should always keep seeking help wherever you can, as if there is a problem with the latch, the pain will only get worse if it's not resolved.

Verylittlecarrot there has been a study that found that different colourings in people are linked to their pain threshold. I think, this is me now, that the skin is thinner maybe in fairer people.

Shitemum I had a similar problem that Tink was biting from about 10 months. I tried everything I knew to stop it and then found she was biting her straw to slow it down. When I started pinching or bending her straw the biting stopped. It may be worth changing how you give her drinks to stop the biting as it can cause you harm.

I've never experienced pain whilst bf and I'm still feeding ds2 (13 months), tell a lie I have, but only when he's bitten me. The only thing that felt strongly was the letdown at first but that wasn't pain, more of a sensation.

It hurt when I had mastitis but that was different.

I can honestly say it has never hurt for me either.
I was beginning to think I was the only one but glad to see some others haven't had pain.

a little tender for first week or two but lansinoh helped with that. Since then absolutely no problem other than when dd (5 months) forgets to let go when she turns to smile at me . No teeth yet though.....

It has been much easier than I was expecting.

tinksmum - thanks - she doesnt actually bite, I think she just doesnt bother to put her tongue over her bottom teeth anymore. Seems to be finding the bedtime story I read to her big sister while I give her the last feed of the day more interesting now, so I think she may self-wean soon [but also a little relieved]

Message withdrawn

The early weeks were so bad (digging nails into palms to try to divert the pain elsewhere) that I've gritted my teeth through mid-pregnancy tenderness to avoid having to start from scratch again. Well that and the fact that DD is insistent about wanting 'mook' not from the fridge but from Mum at bedtime. Once it calmed down (about 6 weeks or so after birth) it was fine unless I let her latch on lazily. Teeth weren't a problem either so all I can say is it definitely gets better. Best of luck with it in the meantime.

Tink's mum
I can actually believe that fairer skin = thinner skin and lower pain threshold (I am a complete wuss, I kid you not, I am NOT brave). I think I've even heard somewhere that redheads are more prone to haemmorhage as well.

Just that I didn't get any pain breastfeeding, which I put down to babycarrot's latch being great rather than any skill of mine, certainly! I know I was very lucky on this point though, and in the minority.