Triple feeding

[Anoushka1986]

Just wondering if anyone is doing triple feeding (feed at breast, pump, top up with expressed milk/formula)?

My son was born with a tongue tie. We have had the snip and are working with an LC who has recommended that I continue with triple feeding until he gets used to it. We went through this exact situation with my first son before switching to formula at 3 months and it was incredibly stressful and overwhelming, I promised myself I wouldn't go through it again but here I am. My son is 1 week old and not sure how long to continue with the triple feeding while waiting for an improvement. How do you know when to give up?

I'm sorry you're going through this. This was my exact situation too. With my first DD I was obsessed with breastfeeding her so I ended up pumping for 3 months and it was HELL. With my second I promised myself I'd try breastfeeding again but if it didn't work out I'd switch to formula and not pump. She was exactly like my first and unable to breastfeed. I went to take my breast pump out of the box and had a visceral reaction, almost like PTSD, at the thought of all those miserable hours pumping so I put it away, switched to formula and haven't looked back. You can 'give up' whenever you want but try not to look at it like that. Just do whatever is right for you and your baby. Formula feeding is fine and a happy Mum means a happy baby.

Here are some advice on how to make it manageable:
https://exclusivepumping.com/nursing-pumping-and-bottle-feeding/

I haven't done triple feed, only exclusive pumping as my baby never latched properly (almost four months now). I could only keep it up by delegating the washing of bottles and pump parts to my baby's dad, and also being able to feed him while pumping.

@MrsSamR thank you for your reply. Sorry to hear that you went through the same thing but it is also reassuring to hear that im not alone- I feel like the only person who can't figure it out. I know he will be fine on formula because my older son thrived when he went on formula. I think my confusion is more about me- this will be my last child and I worry that I will regret missing out on this experience if I don't try harder but I also worry that I will ruin this time with my newborn if I obsess over breastfeeding.

@Liveafr thank you for these tips. How are you finding exclusive pumping? Do you think you will keep it up for long?

I had the same experience and drove myself potty with triple feeding. A very sensible paediatrician in A&E persuaded me to top up with formula whilst LO got used to their new range of tongue movement. I made sure to BF first and then topped up with formula. Once feeding improved I followed the guidance on the Kelly mum website to cut back the formula - basically you reduce the total amount of formula you are giving over 24hrs by 30ml every few days and slow down if you see wet and dirty nappies reducing. You're gradually challenging your boobs to make more. I was down to one 60ml top up in 24hr by 10 weeks but by that point my nerves were shot so I kept that tiny bit of formula until 6 months when they point blank refused to take it anymore. In retrospect I definitely could have got back to EBF and without a pump in sight! This was with my first and triple feeding was hard enough... I don't know how you're doing it with another child to care for too.

I’m in the same boat and my baby is now 3 weeks. Second experience of this, having driven myself and my husband to the point of depression pumping for my first. I know from experience that triple feeding, even with masses of support at home last time, tanked my supply through stress and sleep deprivation and I was ultimately able to provide 90% of my daughter’s needs once I dropped one component of it (nursing in her case, as her TT wasn’t cut until 17 weeks).

Despite that, I’m desperate to give bf a real chance with my son now. His TT was cut a week ago and while we’ve had some good days, his latch is still pretty shallow and he is very fussy when I don’t have a good flow, which creates a vicious cycle of stress for both of us. Long story OP, but just to let you know that you’re not alone.

I’ve been given the reassurance that it is still early days and I can find a way to make whatever means of feeding we chose work for us, provided I stay sane and not stress too much (easier said than done!). It’s earlier still for you, so you have the time to find a solution that works for you. Good luck!

Thanks to the PP for sharing your experience with dropping the pump. My LC is urging me to do the same, but I dare not, given my already falling supply.

How long did it take your LO to get used to their new range of movement?

@Worrysaurus that sounds tricky. I never had the incentive to keep pumping as I think the most I ever managed to get out with a pump was 30ml. I can totally appreciate that it would feel emotionally more difficult to drop it when that's the way you're actually seeing your breast milk go into your LO. I'm trying to remember how long it took as it's a few years ago now. I think TT was cut on about day 17 and started formula top ups that night as she wouldn't latch at all. Regained birth weight by 4 weeks. I then engaged a LC who for me wasn't actually very helpful and just said the latch was still shallow and to go back to the TT practitioner to see whether it had reformed. TT practitioner said it hadn't- there was a tiny fibre which she actually rubbed away with her finger. I guess that would have been about week 5? The LC just told me to keep working on the latch which I found so frustrating. She never came to see me again so I struggled to know if it was improving or not. I started cutting the top ups then and just tried my best to hold my nerve and trust boobs and baby. I honestly don't think her latch was 'good' until she was around 4 months and able to get on herself with no assistance from me. She was also an infrequent poo-er until she was on solids so I just had to monitor her urine output to tell me things were broadly speaking ok. Mine was never fussy at the breast but would just hang on there forever. I used to feed every time she so much as made a peep. Is your LC advising dropping the top ups because she thinks your baby is developing a bottle preference?

Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s interesting that your daughter’s latch didn’t improve for several months, but you managed to keep her well fed and your supply in place. Must have been a very painful experience, but it gives me hope.

My LC suggested dropping some pumping sessions (but not supplements, if needed) to preserve my mental health, particularly given LO’s latch is slowly improving and latching him may more frequently now be more effective than watching mls on a pump and stressing about it.

@TradedAtlanta I've never heard of doing it this way, very tempting. I'll look it up. My husband went back to work today and my baby was up cluster feeding all night long- probably had about 1.5 hrs sleep. Then my older child came into our room and saw we were awake and he was awake for ages in the night and it was an awful night so I'm just looking at anyway I can make things easier atm. This close to throwing in the towel and just bottle feeding.

@Worrysaurus I can't believe how similar our stories are. Triple feeding is so exhausting, I hope you get there. What do you think is the main reason you want breastfeeding to work?

@Anoushka1986 I'm sorry you had such an awful night. I have very much been there with my 2nd. This time round I've had problems again (this one had TT again plus CMPA) and I was advised to put a haakaa pump on after each feed for 5 minutes a side - not to collect milk but just to stimulate greater milk production. I was skeptical but it actually worked so well. Please remember that it's not all or nothing. Even if you decide to offer some formula to take the pressure off you can still continue to mostly breast feed.

I'm a first time mum and been triple feeding. Mostly breast and expressed during the day then formula at night to avoid exhaustion. Has worked quite well so far. I realised in first few days that I just wouldn't cope with exclusive breast feeding and cluster feeding for hours at night. I will breast feed as much as I can but won't feel bad for using formula either.

@Worrysaurus I totally wholeheartedly agree with your LC. My experience with both of mine has been that my supply has utterly tanked when I've fallen down an anxiety well. Stress, for me at least, is the most destructive thing for breastfeeding. My GP reminded me that even babies in conditions of famine catch up weight wise when they have access to food. So what is the worst that can happen if you trust your boobs a bit more? Baby could temporarily be a bit lighter than the ideal. You can tell a baby that's genuinely struggling so if that happens you pause the experiment.

I had to triple feed my first child. I was really determined to breastfeed and that was the only way to force it.

I honestly don't think I could have done it and looked after a toddler as well. As it was, it was terrible for my mental health.

Eventually everything clicked and I was able to exclusively breast feed my first child. I think he was 8 weeks old when I was finally able to feed him like any other baby (no paraphernalia at all). It was a massive achievement and important to me at the time because my son had health issues and I suppose it felt like something I could contribute and control.

I wouldn't put myself through it again. I still strongly support breastfeeding, I know it's better for the child, I breastfed my subsequent children into toddlerhood with no issues. But I would never ever triple feed again and I think hospitals should stop encouraging it. I think the mothers mental health needs to be given more priority. I was given fuck all support, or warnings or signs to look out for in myself. You simply cannot triple feed and provide basic care for yourself at the same time. I was so sleep deprived I hallucinated. It's so much pressure.

OP, you've done so well. Be so proud whatever you decide.

I had the same experience and triple fed for about 2 months before finally stopping when I was so sleep-deprived and depressed that I couldn't carry on. I had always intended to exclusively BF and not being able to broke my heart in ways I can't explain. Having said that, my LO is 2 now and with the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had given up sooner.
Best of luck with your journey, I hope the feeding improves for you. Appreciate you probably don't have time right now but if you do get a chance, I recommend looking up breastfeeding grief online, and in particular this book https://www.amazon.co.uk/Breastfeeding-Trauma-Matter-Pinter-Matters/dp/1780666152
I found it helped me put words to my feelings around it all and feel less alone

@Anoushka1986 sorry you’re having such a tough time. I think my reasons for wanting to continue are similar to yours. He is my last and I don’t want to regret not giving it my best. I would like to make it through his vaccines if possible. I’m happy to combi-feed, but just don’t know how to do that and maintain some supply.

That said, I’m close to throwing in the towel, as I’m finding it too hard to strictly triple feed, as my LO is refusing to latch and I spend hours trying to get him on, so can’t pump after every feed. Will give it another week max to see if things improve.

Good luck! It’s still really early days for you and I’m told larch does improve 1-2 weeks after the TT procedure, so hope things turn a corner for you.

@TradedAtlanta - thank you for the reminder re: stress! Hard to manage, but so important to milk supply. Right now, I’m a total mess in terms of my stress and mental health and that’s helping no one.

Is he latching now? I did triple feeding for a bit when getting ready to leave NICU. Nipple shields were what ensured I could breastfeed - my DS couldn't latch (probably because of poor muscle tone caused by his prematurity) but he managed on the nipple shields, and eventually he was doing enough good feeds with them that I could stop the pumping and topping up.

Yes thank you. I gave it a break last night and expressed and tried again at 4am when he was sleepy and he latched, albeit a shallow latch. But I can work with that to improve it again. He has refused shields ever since the tie was cut, but I’m pleased to hear it worked for you. Can be a much needed relief when it does.

I’ve woken up with a different attitude of not counting mls of supplementation and instead just feeding baby little and often and supplementing without guilt if he really needs it. That’s made a difference to how I felt approaching each feed this morning.

@Worrysaurus that sounds brilliant. I'm really hoping this new approach will work out well for you x

How are you getting on today @Anoushka1986? Hope last night was slightly better.

@Worrysaurus the last few nights have been better, thank you. Still very sleep deprived but at least getting some sleep. Still very confused about what I want to do. Because my husband has now gone back to work I'm not expressing as much and when things were really difficult I was leaning towards doing bottle feeding. But now Baby seems to be having what seems like some really good feeds but he always needs to be topped up after. I feel like we probably could get there if we kept trying but just not sure how much more energy I have in me to continue with the triple feeding. I have an appointment with the LC next week so I guess that will answer some questions about how much milk baby is actually getting in the feeds.

I hope you are doing okay and are managing the stress of this time.

Okay last night I made the decision to switch to formula. My older child has been acting out at school since the baby has arrived, my husband and I are stressed and sleep deprived and I have been finding myself feeling depressed and anxious. I felt like I needed to do something to take the pressure off our family. Also, I have the LC appointment lined up for tomorrow (which I'll now cancel) and I found myself secretly wishing that I'd go along to the appointment and little progress had been made, giving me an excuse to stop.

Thank you so much to everyone who has posted, it has been a lovely thread and helped a lot.

@Anoushka1986 Well done on making a decision - sounds like the best one for your family overall. You’ve been on such a journey and it’s not easy at all with an older child and reliving all the challenges you had with DC1. Good luck and hope you can really enjoy the baby now!

@Anoushka1986 all the best, I hope you start to feel better soon.