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Infant feeding

Feel let down about BF journey

2 replies

SassyPants87 · 27/05/2023 23:49

has anyone else felt let down about not being able to continue BF journey? I feel like the support from NHS isn’t great and actually in hindsight a lot of my feeding issues would have been resolved if I had good quality advice at the right time

DS is 7 months now and I stopped BF after 3 months and I just still feel so sad about it. We have had so many issues with formula that I really wish I had just stuck to BF rather than being scared into thinking baby wasn’t doing well on BM

anyone else ever felt the same? I don’t know why I still can’t shake off the guilt.

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Pastaf0rbreakfast · 28/05/2023 00:23

Hi OP,

I’m sorry I don’t have any personal experience with this, but just wanted to suggest you look at Amy Brown’s book ‘why breastfeeding grief and trauma matter’.

Hopefully someone who has experienced this will be along soon with some advice.

It sounds as though you are a lovely mum who is doing the best for her baby, reading your post, it doesn’t appear you have anything to feel guilty about. It really is a disservice that breastfeeding support is so poor.

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MuchTooTired · 28/05/2023 00:38

In my very own personal experience, my inability to bf seemed a massively huge deal at the time and it was another ‘failure’ I tortured myself with.

My DTs are now 5, and I can’t believe I punished myself in such a cruel way. I couldn’t tell you which of their classmates were ff, bf or mixed fed. It seemed like such a big deal at the time that I wasn’t giving my babies the ‘best’ and the guilt I felt was unreal, but really I don’t think it matters with the benefit of hindsight. I did the best I could for them at the time, and continue to do the best I can for them now.

Please be kind to yourself. You are doing your very best by your baby, and you matter too, very much! You are loving your baby, feeding them the best that you are able to, and the guilt and pressure put on new mums to bf is intense and imho bloody ridiculous. We’re all just winging it.

BF might not have worked out for you, but you have made a whole human being. You’re a super star!

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