Solely pumping - 5 days pp

[IWillBeWaxingAnOwl]

Hi everyone,

Seeking some advice and support to increase supply. My little one is 5 days old and has cleft palate. As a result she cannot breastfeed at all - she can sincerely just lick a nipple but not create any suction. She is formula fed.

I am trying to express to supplement her food but am not getting very far. I can only get drops of colostrum from hand expressing (approx 1ml per session) and very little from pump. I have been told to pump 8 times in 24hrs but cannot manage this (I am hitting about 5/6 times).

What else can I do? I'm feeling really low that no milk has come in. I really wanted to feed her myself and now that's not possible I had really wanted to supplement.

I had a baby with a cleft and was determined to fully breastfeed her. I had heard that it was possible if I got the angle right or I tried hard enough. It was heartbreaking, because without a top lip and gum, there was nothing for her to hold the nipple, nor get any suction to position it in her mouth.

The next plan I had was to express every drop for her. With two other children to care for and baby having lip surgery in London at 6 days (this was a while ago) it was extremely hard to pump frequently enough. I used a hand pump with good suction and could get a decent amount eventually, but it would be gone in seconds and my daughter needed more and more. After a few weeks I had to give formula as well and was devastated. We used flexible 'rosti' bottles to feed her, which she took to well.

Seeing my expressed milk gradually getting replaced by formula feeds was upsetting. I felt that if I was able to pump more often, I might be able to produce enough to not need formula. It wasn't practical though. Pumping is not as effective as feeding directly and it takes time and a relaxed state. I couldn't manage either and my supply dwindled.

I felt I had somehow failed her. Those were some very dark times. I blamed myself for not trying hard enough, for not doing enough with my other two little children - both of whom I had breastfed for over a year each - and for being unable to give my daughter with a cleft, my precious milk.

I did eventually forgive myself. My daughter grew up loved and adored. She now has a beautiful child of her own. We are very close and I see them very often. She has a wicked sense of humour and is a lovely mum.

For your baby, you are doing the very best you can. Whatever of your own milk you can get into her will be beneficial. Colostrum is produced in tiny amounts, but is packed with beneficial contents that will set your baby up for the future.

Look after yourself. It's hard enough looking after a new baby, let alone all the extra work that goes with formula, bottles, pumps etc. You might be emotionally affected by having a 'less than perfect baby' too and worry about the surgeries etc that she will go through. Don't beat yourself up; don't blame yourself.

I eventually allowed myself to be grateful to be in a time and place where the safe alternative feeding option of formula was available. In the past, babies with clefts died or suffered malnutrition. Thank goodness we can give them life and health instead. I went through almost a kind of mourning for the fact I couldn't provide for her, but without formula powder, sterilising bottles and all the paraphernalia that goes with it, my precious girl might not have grown up to be the wonderful, confident, beautiful woman she is now.

I did the best I could. Nothing to be ashamed of.

Congratulations! I exclusively pumped from about a week pp - I found that regularly pumping on both sides at once (even though nothing came out initially), taking fenugreek supplement plus drinking lots of water dramatically increased my supply. I would also pump while DC was bottle feeding. Somehow this combination worked and after about 3 days I was pumping enough milk for every feed plus built up a stash in the freezer. Also don’t feel bad about the formula, I think DC got the best of both and since she was combination fed it was way more convenient and easy for us both down the road.

Also! Check out some exclusive pumping online groups. They had lots of good tips including how to increase your supply, build a stash and other support I found very helpful.

I expressed for both of my babies, neither would latch despite many sweaty and tear filled hours trying!
I would really recommend hiring a medela hospital grade pump; it was a game changer for me. Could do both breasts at the same time in about 15 mins flat instead of 30 mins each side with my other lansinoh electric pump.
Eating loads of oats and staying really hydrated. Also, I used to watch videos of baby when I pumped and that really helped, it was crazy to watch but it was a definite difference.
I found in the first few weeks I did have to pump every couple of hours. Which was terrible, especially when babies started doing longer stretches at night and I was having to set an alarm to get up and pump
When the house was sleeping. I could gradually get this to 4 hour stretches and maintain supply but any longer and my supply dwindled really quickly. For this reason I couldn't maintain solely giving breast milk for long and did mixed feeding for both. It was the best of both worlds for us, my husband could do feeds and they were still getting breast milk for the first few months but crucially I was also able to get some rest!

Do whatever works for you and your baby but please don't kill yourself to express and make yourself miserable and even more exhausted in the process. Its really not the be all and end all if you don't establish a supply. I know it might feel like it is right now, in this moment, but it's such a small thing in the scheme of it all. And in about 10 months you're going to find them eating a mystery object that they've found on the floor anyway and all the sterilising and worrying will feel a world away. Good luck and congratulations on your baby

Pleases don’t let this get you down. Formula is enough.

I exclusively pumped for DS1 for various reasons. I second the suggestion above for a hospital grade medela pump (hired). Also get a pumping bra (no idea what these are called these days but I used to call my the hooter holder - it was just a halter rack bandeau with two holes in) so you can do some things while pumping.

I found it really difficult to manage 8 times in 24 hours too but was helped by a wonderful BF consultant who told me that pumping around 4am would be the most important time. I stuck to this until DS was 6m and managed to keep it up until he was over a year old (he had dairy allergy so felt important to me at the time).

It’s an amazing thing you’re doing for your baby but it is bloody hard and you absolutely must take the attitude of being proud of yourself for every drop you manage, but kind to yourself if and when you decide to call it a day.

If you need more practical support the La Leche League were amazing for me.

Thank you all so much. Especially @Redebs for your empathic comment... Might have made me cry!

@TiredInPerpetuity we were given a Medela by the hospital team, which is great. I basically don't get anything on it! I try my best to sit cuddling her when I pump but that can be hard to do given they get in the way. @TheProvincialLady thanks for the 4am tip! My DH said today that I am working so hard to give her even tiny benefits

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl i hope you and your daughter are doing well.
Maybe you'll have seen an increase in your supply, hopefully you have opportunities for skin to skin.
For different reasons I had to pump a lot at first and then was able to feed direct.

I loved @Redebs beaufiful story, hoping it gave you and DH some encouragement for the bigger picture future and adventure ahead of you all. 💐

You are definitely working very hard at an already exhausting an emotional time. Sending you a big hug - very different situation for me but my son had bad tongue tie and couldn't latch and I had significant damage to my nipples from bad latch attempts.

I tried to fully express to use the milk in bottles and was overwhelmed with the amount of time it took for so little output. I remember sobbing one night when I knocked over the 100ml I had spent an hour pumping as I was tidying up. Things did pick up for me but only when I made use of formula. I cried the first time we used it thinking that I wasn't doing my job, but I was so grateful my son had milk that was helping him grow and it reduced the intense pressure I had put on myself to express ALL of the milk. My husband using formula allowed me to get some rest which helped my supply and things picked up from there.

Whichever way things go for you, please know you're doing an incredible job for your daughter every single day.

Have you tried lactation cookies, they worked for me. There's quite a lot of foods you can try that will increase your supply

I have also read lots of skin to skin helps too, maybe spend a couple of days just in bed having cuddles

My milk didn’t come in until about a week pp - it may be that you’re struggling with supply because yours hasn’t fully come in yet.

I recommend contacting a BF consultant / lactation consultant. I paid for one and while BF didn’t work out for me, she was money really well spent in helping me to make the most of pumping for the 4 months I did it (until my supply was totally outstripped by DC’s hunger).

La Leche League also a good resource. Look up ‘power pumping’ too - designed to up your supply.

good luck. @Redebs post sums up really well that it can feel like a failure but you’re doing your best and if your best is exclusively formula that’s ok too.

Hi.

I was/am in the same position. Drinking tea really helps me. As does looking at photo's watching videos of baby if unable to be near them. I startes fenugreek tablets at 8 weeks PP which (I think) brought on my period, I think jt helps but not sure. Plenty of sleep!! Or even mini naps here and there. I am now 12 pp and do 6 ebm and 2 formula's.

My baby had tongue tie and trying to feed him really damaged my nipples so I had to switch to pumping early on too. My advice is don't obsess over making her exclusively breast milk fed, she is getting her nutrients from the formula and anything else you can express for her is a bonus. If you try and express round the clock you will have no energy for her and not be able to cuddle her and talk with her and this is what she needs. Try to do one of your pumps in the early hours of the night when you're awake then anyway (but don't set alarm for this!)- something about the prolactin being most active at this time helps boost supply.

Well done with the hand expressing I never managed that and you'll be giving her so much goodness with the colostrum.

Things to know with pumping

• Your milk will come in very soon!
• ensure you're eating and drinking lots. You can get special breast milk tea and stay hydrated with coconut water and water.
• make sure the nipple shields fit ok
• you can turn the pump dials up or down - the highest setting will probably stress your nipples out and worsen your let down but the lowest setting might not be strong enough.
• you can get a madela crop top bra thing to hold the nipple shields and bottles in place - order this rather than holding the pump onto your breats, then you can do two breasts at a time and be hands free.