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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

My baby won’t breastfeed in public - advice please!

18 replies

OhBanana · 11/05/2023 16:00

DD 4 months. We have been super lucky insofar as our bf journey is pretty straightforward.

Up until about a month ago I could feed her anywhere and she would latch on no problem! I’m not anxious about feeding her in public at all so I don’t think she’s picking up on my vibes or anything.

She just has stopped feeding very easily when I’m out and about (examples this week are pub lunch and cinema). I know she’s hungry because she’s fussy and timings suggest she’s due a feed but then I offer the boob, she latches briefly then starts crying!

This all Means either it takes many attempts to get her to latch for a decent feed OR she just has a brief snack, gets more angry and I end up taking her home early to feed her! Any suggestions or ideas would be very welcome.

And also no she’s not getting distracted/looking around - it’s just latch, feed for 1-2 mins, sudden crying!

OP posts:
mistlethrush · 11/05/2023 16:03

I had the same problem - to some extent anyway - at about that age, DS got very interested in what was going on around him - and this could be very painful if he rapidly turned his head. I had to give up trying to feed anywhere other than at home or in a quiet room on our own. I'm afraid we just had to work around it.

AP5Diva · 11/05/2023 16:05

I used to just go and feed them in the backseat of the car when they were at this stage.

Original poster
OhBanana · 11/05/2023 16:08

AP5Diva · 11/05/2023 16:05

I used to just go and feed them in the backseat of the car when they were at this stage.

Sadly I don’t drive - if I’m in a town with a John Lewis feeding room or similar I’ll duck in there but my smaller hometown has nothing similar! Did they outgrow this stage or stay fussy when out and about indefinitely?

OP posts:
Original poster
OhBanana · 11/05/2023 16:09

mistlethrush · 11/05/2023 16:03

I had the same problem - to some extent anyway - at about that age, DS got very interested in what was going on around him - and this could be very painful if he rapidly turned his head. I had to give up trying to feed anywhere other than at home or in a quiet room on our own. I'm afraid we just had to work around it.

Goodness that must have been such a faff for you, I try and work around it in that I try and give her a big full feed before we leave to go anywhere but that buys me 1.5 hours max (she eats loads in the day, not much at night!)

OP posts:
AP5Diva · 11/05/2023 16:17

OhBanana · 11/05/2023 16:08

Sadly I don’t drive - if I’m in a town with a John Lewis feeding room or similar I’ll duck in there but my smaller hometown has nothing similar! Did they outgrow this stage or stay fussy when out and about indefinitely?

Show quote history

Yes, they did grow out of it. I can’t recall exactly when but I think around 8-9mos old. Then they would actually start sticking their hands down my top and trying to expose me when they felt peckish. They stopped caring what was going on around them completely- but that had its own challenge as I’d have to gently move their hands/arms and tell them to hold on mummy needs a quiet spot and so on.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 11/05/2023 16:19

I didn't have this problem but it could be her turning her head at an interesting background noise and as pp said that movement could hurt. I think she will grow out of it x

Pullthecurtains · 11/05/2023 16:21

Mine did this too and as pp said they did grow out of it however at the time the only way they would latch on and stay on is if I stood up and sort of rocked them/ swayed while feeding 🤦‍♀️

Original poster
OhBanana · 11/05/2023 16:30

So glad to hear this probably isn’t a permanent change! I’ve had to do the swaying/standing feeding at home before with everything just out until she latched, but I am a large of bosom (and everything else 😂) lady so I’m almost certain I could get done for indecent exposure if I did that in public! It sounds like I’ve just got to ride this phase out!

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 11/05/2023 21:17

I think it's pretty normal for them to be interested in what's going on around them at this age. Agree with the Pp who said to try and give them a big feed before you go out, maybe with a few Breast Compressions to encourage her to take a bit more.

Does she fiddle with anything when she feeds? My DD fed better in public if she fiddled with my earlobe or a piece of jewellery.

WestOfWestminster · 11/05/2023 21:22

I just knew when I saw your thread title your baby would be 4 months old.

As others have said its just the baby being more interested in the world & distracted. Try and find somewhere quiet and boring when you can. The phase will pass.

Missscarletintheconservatory · 15/05/2023 21:35

I have fed DC in many many clothes shop changing rooms when they were getting distracted. At that age a bit of rocking to calm them seemed to work too.

JandalsAlways · 15/05/2023 21:40

Mine was like this too, not ideal but I just timed things around the 3 hour cycle. Try pumping? Mine also did want a bottle, but as they got older I used to freeze my milk and give them BM iceblocks

JandalsAlways · 16/05/2023 02:56

OhBanana · 11/05/2023 16:30

So glad to hear this probably isn’t a permanent change! I’ve had to do the swaying/standing feeding at home before with everything just out until she latched, but I am a large of bosom (and everything else 😂) lady so I’m almost certain I could get done for indecent exposure if I did that in public! It sounds like I’ve just got to ride this phase out!

I am too (large bosom!) you could also try having a pillow with you to make it more comfortable, I always used a pillow. Agree with PP re finding somewhere boring, mine was too interested in what was going on to focus on feeding

bussteward · 16/05/2023 03:35

Ah, I remember staying at home a lot at that stage. DS is four months now actually and we’re at home a lot, but that’s also exhaustion on my part! He’ll feed when out and about if tired/grizzly/fed up, ie ready to turn his back on the world, but not if everything’s exciting.

Just ride it out. So many annoying phases to come: biting, nipple twiddling, finger up your nose…

HippeePrincess · 16/05/2023 03:39

We’re having this, think it’s a combination of distraction, can be either too hungry or not hungry enough, and working on a different position now they’re not newborn. Mine prefers to be more upright now.

Original poster
OhBanana · 16/05/2023 05:15

Thanks for all the advice everyone! I took dd to Westfields this weekend and managed to feed her successfully - I used a muslin as a makeshift feeding cover to stop her being able to look about and that did the trick! I’m not usually one to cover up but if it works I’ll run with it! I’ll go totally bonkers if I don’t get out and about

OP posts:
Wavescrashingonthebeach · 16/05/2023 08:44

Just ride it out. So many annoying phases to come: biting, nipple twiddling, finger up your nose…

Omg yes the finger up the nose 😂 these big eyes staring up at me then he reaches up and is obsessed with trying to poke me up my nostrils and in my ear!

Glad you managed to have a successful trip out and I agree- I go bonkers if I don't leave the house I try and get out every day it does you and the baby good, unless you are so shattered that you need the rest it's always good to get out!

bussteward · 16/05/2023 09:25

@Wavescrashingonthebeach At one point my daughter loved putting her foot on my neck while she fed. No matter the feeding position, she would contort herself into this toe-based chokehold and kick my throat, rhythmically.

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