20mo breastfeeding habit/ sleep association

4 replies

SugarAndSpike · 08/05/2023 23:15

Knackered.

Sometimes she sleeps through, other times we have nights where she wakes around midnight and I'm too tired to deal with a cryathon so I just think fuck it come into bed with me. We lie down and she and I both fall asleep, her using me as a dummy. Sleep quality isn't great for me.

I have almost always (regrettably) fed her to sleep so it'll be a strong association now. Strangely though, not when I first put her to sleep at night in her cot.

DD (age 4) in next room and I hate waking her with the crying so this has been the best option to enable us to get the best sleep.

Is there a gentle way to do this or do I need to commit to a few nights of screaming before we actually nip it in the bud?

She is quite clingy, eg when I leave her at childcare, so maybe this is the problem. But is there a gentler way around it? I hate to push her away when she feels she needs me the most.

OP posts:

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 08/05/2023 23:42

I've only just managed to stop bf ing at just over 2 years. I just tried to build in a really good bedtime routine to cut out the bf to sleep associations and would then just cuddle to sleep and say milks all gone now. I'd pick your battle and either cut out the bf'ing or the co sleeping but not both at once I'm still co sleeping with my 2 year old but hoping to get them into their own bed first. I'm just made up we have finally given up the boob it's been a long journey!
Alot changes in those last few months though.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 08/05/2023 23:44

Try letting her latch on but then after like a minute or less go to the other boob and then after a minute of that say all gone and just do cuddles

Mummy08m · 08/05/2023 23:55

I was in your exact position and then it all just stopped by itself around 2y6m, dd managed to sleep just listening to a book. We weaned a month later with no tears.

I don't regret feeding to sleep up till then, I don't see that as a "bad habit". I think it's natural. It was certainly the easiest and quickest way for us. DH (and even MIL) could sometimes read her to sleep if I was out but we didn't risk it often before 2y because occasionally it just wouldn't work and be an endless tantrum till I got home. I still managed to have evenings out, just after bedtime. Now I can whenever.

One thing I suggest is setting up an open bed for the LO that's big enough for you to lie in and feed to sleep. Then ninja roll out and into your own bed. We did this from 18m. It meant I had some/most of the night with just me and dh in our bed.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 09/05/2023 00:00

This. My LO doesn't have a cot they have a single bed and I know the ninja roll all too well haha!!!!

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