Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

have you left your breastfed baby for a weekend or more?

11 replies

zim · 18/02/2008 01:27

I'm really curious how other bf mums have coped if they've needed to/wanted to go away and leave their baby for a period of time. My situation is that my ds is 6 months; my original plan was to bf until he was about 1 which would co-incide with me going back to work and him being able to drink ordinary cow's milk. However, my friend asked me a while ago if I could come away for her hen weekend at the end of april. Ds will be 8 months by then so I just thought I might as well change the goal posts and wean him gradually in time for that. She's even changed the date to suit me but now the time is looming closer i'm really nervous about leaving him!
That gives me just short of 2 months to decide what I'm going to do. I know if I want to wean completely I need to start asap if i'm to do it gradually (ie drop one feed a week). When I've asked friend's/family's advice they've either said 'Can't he go with you?' (eh? Its a hen weekend-are they trying to make me feel guilty about leaving him?!) or 'why don't you pump enough to freeze and leave'. This sounds fine in principle (even the fact that i'd have to 'pump and dump' whilst I was away to stop me becoming engorged wouldn't bother me that much)but I feel quite strongly about the fact that my disappearing for 2 days will be traumatic enough for him without it co-inciding with the end of such a special thing that bf has been. I know he's in fantastic hands with his dad but at the end of the day, as i'm the one at home I am his main carer so its bound to be unsettling for him. Thats why I'm adament that if I'm going to do it I'll have to wean(I've convinced myself now just writing that......)
Sorry this is such a long post and thank you if you're still with me......
My main concerns then are a)how do I start weaning? b) will that be it-ie should I carry on-eg one feed a day when I return?
As for how-I know I want to start gradually but am not sure which feed to switch to a bottle first. I'm torn between whether or not to do the night-time one. Part of me thinks its a good one as his dad can then do it which will be nice for him/good coz we've got the prob of him using breast as a sleep trigger and this might put an end to this and help with middle of the night waking but then another part of me feels that this is the one i'd like to drop last as its such a comforting/relaxing/special time of the day. Also, should I encourage the use of a feeder cup as I've heard that bottles should be discouraged from 6 months. At the mo he's had about a bottle a week of ebm and although he doesn't properly suck (from an avent bottle)he gets the milk inside him! I've bought a beaker which he just messes about with at the mo with water in and a training bottle from boots which is supposed to help with transition from bottle to beaker. Is it ok to put formula in a beaker do you think?
Also (there's more?!) it turns out he has cows milk allergy so has been precribed hypoallergenic formula (Nutramigen). It stinks and tastes AWFUL (really bitter) so he hates it (mind you it could just be that he hates the bottle and would hate ordinary formula too).
as for b):If I do go he'll have to cope with out bf for a weekend so if I was to take it up again upon my return would this just be daft? My mum says carry on the night feed alap as once you stop there's no going back/at least he'll be getting anti-bodies etc still but i feel mean leaving him then taking it up again as I feel like its rubbing his face in it when I get back (ha ha, look what I've deprived you of whilst ive been away!!!!!!!!!!!) daft/irrational I know!
Thank you so so much for any kind of insights/advice/experiences.
I really appreciate you for reading all this way down!

OP posts:
Granny22 · 18/02/2008 01:47

Not being judgemental about leaving him but if you are stressing about this so much already I really wonder if you are going to enjoy your hen-weekend anyway?

However, I do think the time has come to encourage him to sometimes take ebm or formula from a bottle or beaker so that you/he are not so tied. You do not mention how he is doing re solids - in two months time he will probably be eating more and not having so many breast feeds anyway?

bloss · 18/02/2008 02:27

Message withdrawn

Anna8888 · 18/02/2008 07:46

I started giving my baby formula from a tiny cup (not a beaker) when she was about six months, so that I could go out for the afternoon/evening and leave her with my mother. This worked pretty well. For the rest I used to breastfeed her.

When she was 16 months I left her with my mother for 11 days and resumed breastfeeding (and carry on to this day, she is 3.3).

PortAndLemon · 18/02/2008 08:18

I don't really get your point on b). While you are away he will also be "depriving" him of your cuddles, tickles, eye contact, sound of your voice, lovely familiar mummy smell... and presumably you don't intend to withold those from him when you get back for fear of rubbing his face in the fact that you were away for a weekend? I just don't see why breastfeeding needs to be any different.

cmotdibbler · 18/02/2008 09:14

My DS has regualarly been without me for from 1 - 7 nights since he was 6 months old (20 months now), and he never had formula over that time. He happily goes back to bfing when I come back, and its really not been a problem. I hate dumping the milk when I'm away, as it seems so pointless.

If you haven't left him for any length of time before, that is more of an issue - you need to work up to him being with DH for a day, then day/night. IMHO this is much more the issue than how he is fed.

chipmonkey · 18/02/2008 09:54

I have left ds3 several times while bf. I definitely wouldn't give up bf entirely just for a weekend away! If I were you, I would start expressing to build up a freezer stash. I pump roughly every 4 hours while away, if the hotel room has a fridge/mini bar that is ideal for storage or you could ask them to put it in their freezer. You could also pump and dump if you prefer but it kills me to do that. Ds3 was very much a boob boy so there was never a problem with him returning to the breast on my return. I did this 3-4 times while bfing and managed to bf him till he was 2.8

zim · 18/02/2008 23:03

thanks for all your replies. it really helps to hear about other's experiences.
granny 22-you're right, i am stressing but do feel that it would be a good experience to go so should gradually build up to it. he's doing great on solids so i do think its more that i'm worrying about him having to go without the breast as a comforter(he often uses it to go to sleep)
bloss-its good to hear that your experience went smoothly.i know i hate to waste ebm too!
anna8888-i shouldnt be worrying about 2 days if you managed 11 and are obviously still doing great with the bf.thanks for that
portandlemon-i take your point about my point b(!)you're right about mummy's smell/voice being just as important as bf but all the other stuff (cuddles, eyecontact, tickles he can get from daddy)you're right though bf should be no different and i should carry on if i want to.sorry to sound neurotic its just all so new to me-i need to go through these thought processes to arrive at a decision i feel comfortable with
cmotdibbler-you're right i think maybe i'm (subconciously?)using the feeding as the issue when really its the fact that i'll have to leave him.ta i will try and build up to it
thankyou chipmonkey-good advice, i honestly didnt know what other peoples experiences were.dont think my mum ever left us and of my sisters that breasfed for the longest they took babby along so its good to hear that there are other ways!

OP posts:
zim · 19/02/2008 23:13

just wanted to flag this up again in case there were any other people with experiences they could share on this!
ta

OP posts:
jasper · 20/02/2008 00:02

Yes I left my breastfed baby for a few days at about 8 m if I recall. He had nothing but breastmilk for 6m.

he was fine without me for a few days ( I never gave him formula or frozen ebm) he just did without when i was away and it all resumed as normal on my return.
I never emptied my breasts when I was away - could never bear to waste it!.

NellyTheElephant · 20/02/2008 15:55

DH and I went away for a long w/e when DD2 was 3 months old and exclusively bf. I had been expressing regularly over the previous couple of weeks to stock the freezer. My Mum looked after the girls while we were away. I expressed 3 times a day while we were away to keep things going and had no problems on my return. My Mum and the girls had a lovely time and so did DH and I - I had SO needed the break!! I think you just need to get used to the fact that the odd few days away won't do them any harm and will do you the world of good. The first time I left DD1 was for one night when she was 3 months old. Went to a wedding, forgot to take my breast pump and nearly exploded!!

zim · 15/03/2008 21:44

thanks for that X

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread