What's going on? (Reflux/cmpa/letdown/something else)

[Louise0410]

Hi - this is a long one so thank you for reading!

DS2 is 6 weeks. He has good weight gain. Generally content and a good nappy output. I don't think he has silent reflux or cmpa (my first DS had both and was understandably very very unhappy for months and this child is not at all like that). DS2 is a sooooooo tricky to feed though.

We had a tongue tie released the other week. It was posterior and very minor I think as it hadn't caused me any issues with latch and pain. It hasn't made a difference to the feeding.

For the last 3 weeks he comes on and off the breast constantly (sometimes won't even latch and turns away even when he's been rooting or its been a good 3 hours since his last feed). It feels like an absolute circus to try to feed him.

What works:

• he feeds well when asleep (nighttime I don't have these issues but I can tell he gets a bit overwhelmed at letdown even when he is half asleep)
• white noise sometimes helps him to relax and feed especially in the evening
• side lying feeding can sometimes be more successful
• sometimes he will suck on my pinkie finger for a bit and then when calm will switch to the nipple.

I think I have a strong let down and did have a big oversupply at the start (it's settled a bit now though). Can these lead to this kind of behaviour? Or do I need to start thinking more about reflux/cmpa again despite the other signs suggesting it isn't this. I've read everything on the internet about this issue and I feel out of my depth.

Of course, I never force him to feed and if he rejects the breast I wait maybe 15 mins and try again if he is still giving signs but getting him to feed whilst out the house is horrendous and usually results in him having a snack and then us both giving up (and then he gets grouchy because I assume he is hungry). Although, there is part of me that wonders if he just isn't hungry and can't comfort suck without being overloaded with milk.

Any advice/solidarity/general experience with this kind of totally not relaxing or ideal breastfeeding debacle. I fed DS1 until 20 months and he was a nightmare too for the first 5/6 and I just cannot face that again this time.

No advice I'm afraid, but calling LaLeche league was very helpful to me regarding another breastfeeding issue....Worth a call?

Good point @MooMaa83 . Will try them!

From personal experience and what I've read on here it's quite common with baby no2 when no1 was fed for longer than average. Milk flows too fast for them to get any comfort from it. Like it's still flowing at toddler speed from last time.

Sounds like you already know what works which is good. It really is just a juggling act in the early days, they do get used to the speed and handle it better. Think for me it improved by around 4 months and by 6 months he didn't seem bothered at all. However for me it was worse on one side so I would just avoid that side when out of the house.

If you can persevere it does have its advantages later on, feeds rarely last 5 minutes (now 9 months) and nappies are still surprisingly heavy for such a short feed.

Thanks @LunchAtTeatime . I'm very determined to keep going. I remember once DS1 issues were fixed it was such a breeze. This bit is just hard and I feel like it's a constant juggle and there is a dark art to getting him to feed.

DS2s feeds are already super speedy but nappies are v good across the day. So I'm confident he is getting enough but it feels so frantic and high stakes.