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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Please advise. Desperately need baby to take the bottle

21 replies

TolkienLover · 03/04/2023 21:19

Evening all.

LO is EBF, 4.5 months old. Feeding has always been up and down for various reasons- suspected TT, laryngomalacia, suspected food intolerances through my BM...I feel like I spend my entire day just trying to feed her and make sure she has enough.

3 weeks ago she caught a cold and really REALLY struggled to feed, I think because of her laryngomalacia as well. Since then I feel my supply took a dip and because she's never been an efficient feeder, it never fully recovered. Since then she's on me most of the day, feeding. Her night sleep has also gone to pot. She's basically feeding around the clock but never seems properly full enough to settle for a decent stretch. Wet and dirty nappies are there, but it takes her feeding all day and night to produce these.

I'm hoping to have her weighed this week but ultimately I want to combination feed if not give breastfeeding up altogether. It's affected my MH and I am just so done. I can't cope anymore. My toddler needs me too and I've literally been on survival mode for the last 4 months. I'm exhausted.

Please PLEASE tell me how I can get her to accept a bottle. I've tried different teats and brands but it's like she doesn't know what to do. I tried a free flow sippy cup but she just got upset. The week she was unwell she accepted formula from a syringe but this just isn't practical for the quantities she would need. Is it cruel to leave her with DH and a bottle for a couple of hours? I need a way out of this.

OP posts:
TrombonesAreNotBones · 03/04/2023 21:57

Hiya.
Here's what we did, but do bear in mind it was nearly twenty years ago... and things change, people get horrified by what was ok in the past.

Add a drop or two of vanilla essence into the formula (no alcohol one) serve the milk warmer than you might think (still check on your wrist as usual)

Husband to try, or your mum.or MIL- if you do, baby will smell your milk and want that instead.

Good luck, have a hand pat from me.

itsmschanandlerbong · 03/04/2023 22:03

It could be the tongue tie causing the issue, have you thought about getting it shipped? It'll help feed more efficiently too.

Essie274 · 03/04/2023 22:12

Firstly, the four month fussies are a real thing and both of my EBF children fed like too describe around this age. It was hellish and exhausting but they grew out of it - one was a great feeder from day one, the other had various issues that gradually improved. I just wanted you to know that, in case you didn't.

However, if you're happy with the decision to move to combi or full time formula and just really want baby to take a bottle, here are my tips (some of these worked for one or both of my DC, others worked for friends but not my babies):

  • syringe, spoon or cup feed breastmilk and/or formula - gets baby used to feeding NOT from the breast and used to the taste of formula. You say she's taken formula from a syringe before, so whilst it isn't practical as a long term solution - it could help as a circuit breaker perhaps.
  • agree with pp to serve the milk warmer than you probably think
  • try giving the bottle in the same position as if breastfeeding
  • try giving baby bottle in almost any other position/in a bouncer or infant seat on high chair/propped up/etc (my eldest would only take a bottle if he was held upright with his back against my partner's chest while they both looked in the mirror Grin )
  • Stick to one teat (smaller ones that go further back into the mouth typically are better for breastfed babies, not the big round ones that look like boobs) and make it familiar, rather than swapping around.
  • leave baby with dad for a few hours and let him keep trying, with a syringe on hand for back up. It isn't cruel if it needs to happen.
Thelonelychicken · 03/04/2023 22:25

Can you express? even an ounce just to get them used to bottle then move over to formula?
One of mine just hated formula so I started off with small bottles of expressed then mixed in formula little by little.

Original poster
TolkienLover · 04/04/2023 00:11

Thank you for your tips, everyone.

@itsmschanandlerbong she was checked by a few LCs and we had it snipped although to be honest it was questionable whether it was even affecting her feeding or not. It didn't make any difference. We actually think it might be low muscle tone in her jaws (maybe linked to her laryngomalacia?) as the LC, doctor and cranial osteopath have all noticed her jaw muscles have quite a lot of tension in them.

@Essie274
I keep fluctuating depending on how stressed I am. I'd love to continue BFing but not like this. I combination fed my eldest after a similar experience but thankfully she accepted the bottle. This time it's so much more stressful I don't even mind if she accepts the bottle and rejects the boob. Just anything to have my sanity back.

OP posts:
Original poster
TolkienLover · 04/04/2023 00:12

@Thelonelychicken I have a bit of frozen expressed milk as I actually started off with an oversupply (which is probably why her feeding was ok to begin with). I'll try that in a bottle tomorrow, although she wasn't keen on it with the sippy cup.

OP posts:
littleducks · 04/04/2023 00:17

I would get get feeding ability and swallowing assessed. If she has laryngomalacia she may not be able to safely take milk from a bottle without adaptations and strategies. This might make her uncomfortable and be why she refuses. Can you said refer to local SALT Dysphagia team?

Then if you know she is ok you can try the more run if the mill tips without worrying

Original poster
TolkienLover · 04/04/2023 00:21

@littleducks thanks. I've been to the GP thrice now asking for ENT referral but they keep saying it's unnecessary because she's gaining weight. I will try asking about a SALT referral.

OP posts:
CheeseAlways · 04/04/2023 16:51

Mine refused a bottle until about five months. What I did, was just try it once a day for several weeks And eventually she did start taking it. here’s what I did in case any of it works for you…

  • Tried the same time every day. For us this was mid morning right after her first nap. She was well rested and hungry but not starving
  • used the same bottle and same teat (MAM). At first she just chewed it and played with it but she soon started to realise milk would come and got the hang of sucking
  • warmed the milk quite warm like warmer than you’d think. Obviously test it on wrist before to make sure it doesn’t burn. Also warmed the teat
  • used breast milk but am not sure if this made a massive difference or not. Could be formula
once she started accepting it I’ve made sure to give her at least one bottle a day. good luck!!!
shutthewindownow · 04/04/2023 17:36

She will take the bottle when she's hungry enough. Go out and let hubby do it so she can't expect the boob Good luck

Original poster
TolkienLover · 04/04/2023 23:19

@CheeseAlways (great name by the way!) Thank you for your tips, very helpful.

@shutthewindownow I really hope that's true. I feel like she just doesn't know what to do with the teat?

OP posts:
FusionChefGeoff · 04/04/2023 23:30

Mine both liked their milk WAY hotter than I was comfortable with at first and also I used to turn the test upside down into the milk whilst I warmed it so that the test would get quite hot and steamy.

That was the game changer for my bottle refuser

Porridgeislife · 04/04/2023 23:34

Lansinoh natural wave teats were great for my bottle refuser.

Mine also had neck/jaw tension & needed that sorted out to take a bottle comfortably. We had to go private, seeing a tongue tie practitioner that specialised in body & oral muscle release work.

Porridgeislife · 04/04/2023 23:36

shutthewindownow · 04/04/2023 17:36

She will take the bottle when she's hungry enough. Go out and let hubby do it so she can't expect the boob Good luck

I’d like to say that’s the case but mine didn’t get that memo when I went back to work!

Original poster
TolkienLover · 04/04/2023 23:53

@Porridgeislife Lansinoh natural wave teats arriving tomorrow! I've heard so much about them, I really hope this is it!!! If you don't mind me asking, where are you based?

@FusionChefGeoff thanks, I'll keep that in mind! I'm using ready made formula and have just been putting the bottle in a bowl of hot/kettle water for a few minutes before offering it. Open to other bottle warming methods if there are any!

OP posts:
Porridgeislife · 05/04/2023 02:35

@TolkienLover We saw the Tongue Tie Centre in Balham/South London - it was transformational and my baby was 6 months by that stage! They train people in baby body & oral release work so if South London isn’t close they can probably recommend someone near you.

Porridgeislife · 05/04/2023 02:35

& I hope the Lansinoh teats work for you ❤️

Merrow · 05/04/2023 02:43

DS1 never took a bottle properly - the sucking just never clicked for him. What worked for us was a mam bottle with a teat with quite large holes. He effectively gummed / chewed at it to get the milk out. It was a messy slow process but he didn't starve! Giving the bottle while he was in the sling was also a game changer.

FusionChefGeoff · 05/04/2023 10:20

I know it's frowned upon but we used the microwave and just made sure we gave it a regular shake / stir to avoid hotspots

Original poster
TolkienLover · 06/04/2023 16:08

Hi all. Just thought I'd update. DD still refusing the bottle but I had her weighed yesterday and she is slowly moving up the centiles! So my supply seems ok...but she's just a crap feeder? I don't know what to think. The GP is still going to refer DD on to SLT. Also went to breastfeeding support group today and was advised that a lot of this snacking behaviour can be developmental/normal. Been advised to try a baby carrier to try and make her go longer between feeds...so let's see.

OP posts:
Scottishskifun · 06/04/2023 18:48

It's not cruel to leave her with DH, my DS would only take a bottle from my DH if he saw me leave the house! He never took it from me and would only take expressed milk but it was enough to give me a break when needed!

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