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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Would you be annoyed if your friend bf your child without asking first?

24 replies

spicemonster · 13/02/2008 09:00

I think I'd be slightly disconcerted. Which is a bit odd really as if my DS was hungry and my friend was looking after him and her own DC, I would be happy for her to give them both a piece of toast or something.

Would you mind?

OP posts:
colditz · 13/02/2008 09:02

yes. Breast milk is a bodily fluid. It carries the same risk of infection as many other bodily fluids. In an emergency, fine, but not just 'because'. Ditto a blood transfusion.

BabiesEverywhere · 13/02/2008 09:07

Yes, what Colditz said

Original poster
spicemonster · 13/02/2008 09:07

Good point colditz. I suppose I was thinking about drinking/drugs and I know the person who fed both her own child and her friend's wouldn't do either as she's bfing but I hadn't considered infection.

OP posts:
Original poster
spicemonster · 13/02/2008 09:08

Would you mind even if she had asked? I mean, would you countenance it at all?

I would feel very uncomfortable about it (and not just because of the risk of infection) but am struggling to articulate why.

OP posts:
lljkk · 13/02/2008 09:11

I might consider it, depends so much on circumstances. But it would upset me hugely if friend didn't ask/discuss it first.

lucy5 · 13/02/2008 09:19

I wouldn't like it, even if she did ask. To me it is a very personal thing between me and my kids. I haven't got a problem with other people doing it, just wouldn't do it myself or let anyone bf my child.

MrsMattie · 13/02/2008 09:21

I'd be horrified.

McDreamylove · 13/02/2008 09:28

{shock] yes I would be very unhappy

dal21 · 13/02/2008 09:35

yup. without asking is bang out of order. why did this happen?

schneebly · 13/02/2008 09:36

I would be livid

Original poster
spicemonster · 13/02/2008 09:51

It's not my DS It's something someone I know did because she was looking after someone else's child and they were hungry. It seems that it's quite common among her friends from what I can gather.

OP posts:
zim · 18/02/2008 01:14

oh my god yes, \id be freaked out!

oxocube · 18/02/2008 06:35

I would feel uncomfortable for reasons I can't explain - something to do with the bond/closeness btwn mum and baby during feeding. BUT if my baby was screaming with hunger and the circumstances were v unexpected (unavoidable delay etc) maybe it would be selfish to put my feelings before those of my baby who would have no qualms about whose milk it was.

sophiesmiles · 18/02/2008 06:47

If my dd needed feeding I would be perfectly happy for my sister to feed her but not sure about a friend

Piffle · 18/02/2008 07:35

I bf my friends baby without asking! Was minding her for an hour while friend got her haircut. My ds1 and her dd were both 5 mths. Friend got run over on pedestrian crossing ( I was unaware of this for several hrs) tbh I had sod all choice as baby was not weaned and I had no bottles or formula, aside from that friend was like me a committed extended feeder. So I fed her dd. Was worried what friend was going to say but she was really happy. Had to do it for about a day and a half as friend had ruptured spleen and was very poorly initially.

Teuch · 18/02/2008 08:07

I think there was another thread recently where the general consensus was that most of us would bf someone else's child in certain circumstances, but the majority would not be happy with their child being bf by another mother.

Personally, it makes me feel a bit squirmy either way. This is probably my own hang-up as other cultures depend on this, but there it is

thequietone · 18/02/2008 08:10

I had to read the question twice because I couldn't quite believe it. I'd be horrified. BF is an intensely personal experience. My SIL come over once and wanted to bottle-feed DS with my milk. I was uncomfortable enough with that.

belgo · 18/02/2008 08:11

that's fascinateing Piffle. In those same circumstances, I would be happy for my baby to be fed by a very trusted friend.

GColdtimer · 18/02/2008 08:16

Wow piffle, that's amazing. I think in those circumstances I would be fine with it. It would have to be one of those type of situations though.

IlanaK · 18/02/2008 08:32

I would certainly prefer my aby to be bf by someone else than geta bottle of formula.

The World Health Organisation list the methods of feeding a baby in order of preference starting of course with mothers own milk directly from her breast. Milk directly from the breast of another mother is way higher on the list than formula (which is at the bottom) and is in fact higher than donor milk from a milk bank (because it has been pasturised and is therefore altered).

oysterpots · 18/02/2008 09:13

I wouldn't, as long as it wasn't done without my knowledge (unless in circumstances beyond my control a la Piffle).

But then I no longer bf my son, having stopped exbf at 6 weeks and stopping completely at 4 months, so that might have coloured my view.

I considered asking my SIL to bf him, or a friend whose DC is 2 weeks younger, just to see whether the problems were with me or with DS. So I guess this would have been a controlled experiment rather than just because

TinkerbellesMum · 18/02/2008 16:17

I don't have a friend I could relate it to, so it's difficult to answer. I think I would be ok about it depending on who it was, which is rather vague because I haven't got someone I can relate it to.

It's been proven that even mothers with HIV can breastfeed safely as long as there isn't any cows milk introduced, one formula feed and the HIV mother must stop. The reason is cows milk causes lesions in the stomach, but human milk doesn't. Whilst there has been no cows milk introduced there is no risk of the milk entering the blood stream. So that makes me a little more comfortable about a friend than formula.

spugs · 18/02/2008 16:51

my dd finished off my friends babies bottle of ebm and that was fine with both of us, but i dont think i would have been happy about it if she actually breast fed her. have no idea why though

FrannyandZooey · 18/02/2008 16:53

without consent is not on
between families who have discussed it and agreed it is fine, quite sensible it seems
but not everyone would feel comfortable about it

it is a very intimate thing to do in its own way

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