Baby doesn't really comfort feed

8 replies

Louise0410 · 25/03/2023 19:55

Hi,
This is my second baby and just like first time around I am lucky to have plenty of milk. DS2 is almost 2 weeks old and has gained weight consistently since birth. My supply feels good but my letdown is a bit overwhelming for him. The same happened with DS1 and he really struggled. My DS2 seems to be coping a bit better. The things that's bothering me is that he doesn't seem to like breastfeeding when he is ready for a nap, I think it's because he can't really comfort suck and just gets overwhelmed with milk when he isn't hungry (as he's only been awake for a max of around 60 mins and clearly just wants to sleep because he will drift off easily with a cuddle and gentle pat). Does anyone have a similar experience? I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that some babies will only BF when they are hungry and won't do the whole comfort feeding. It feels really odd and is making me a bit worried (in my post-partum hormonal state!)

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HappyHolidays22 · 25/03/2023 20:12

This was the same for me!!! My DD1 would comfort feed consistently - it was actually really difficult to get anything done with her but it did have its benefits when she was poorly and I could settle her easily. DS2 is totally different. He is now 9months. He has never comfort fed and I have always had to encourage him to feed. His longest feeds have never been more than 20mins at a time in the early days. It made life easier in one way but actually it is far more difficult if he is poorly or struggling to sleep. But it’s just that he isn’t bothered. I’ve come to realise it’s useless comparing DS with DD as they are completely different - and those differences in personality are apparent even as early as birth!

Congratulations on DS2. enjoy every second of getting to know him.

HappyHolidays22 · 25/03/2023 20:15

Forgot to say - it worried me too at first but I had a friend whose first child didn’t do the whole comfort feeding thing, never cluster fed etc so I was reassured by that. Please be assured that your baby will feed if they are hungry (assuming they are gaining weight which you say he is).

jamsandwich1 · 25/03/2023 20:17

Same with my second. She never, ever comfort fed and was a super efficient feeder from day one. I think her longest feed was about 10 mins but she was usually done in less than 5. If you offered the breast and she wasn’t hungry she would be RAGING. I found it quite hard because I didn’t really have a way to settle her if we were out and about and I’d often be spraying milk everywhere while she roared and hit me. It was a real change from my first who I could feed to sleep and settle easily. She’s 2.5 now and still very feisty!

HappyHolidays22 · 25/03/2023 20:25

@jamsandwich1 out of interest, how did you settle her? My DS is quite similar haha love the image of her raging haha

Original poster

Louise0410 · 25/03/2023 20:53

Thanks for the replies @HappyHolidays22 and @jamsandwich1 it's good to know I'm not alone. It's odd because he roots around like he is hungry and I offer him milk but he doesn't want it and clearly just wants to sleep as he falls asleep as soon as I give him a little gentle encouragement. I'm confident he is getting sufficient milk though and don't want to force the comfort feeding thing with him. DS1 was super feisty about this kind of stuff but DS2 seems a little more calm and fusses briefly before going to sleep so hoping it lasts....

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Geranium1984 · 25/03/2023 21:01

Congratulations on your new baby.

My DS1 was a boob monster and was constantly wanting boob all day and night. In those first few weeks he cluster fed for hours.
My DD2 is 4.5mo and is not that crazy about the boob. When she was newborn she used to unlatch when she'd finish feeding and I'd rock her/sway her to sleep. I thought I was on to a good thing as feeding to sleep was a problem with my son.

Over time, she's started falling asleep at the boob and if I try and sway her or go for a walk in the carrier, she needs to suck something. She's still quite difficult to feed. Often, I can tell she's hungry, but she will refuse to feed. I have to feed her in a dark room with white noise on. Sometimes I have to hover over her to offer boob and she'll finally take it and is clearly ravenous 🙄
She's really chubby so I'm not worried about her getting enough.

Original poster

Louise0410 · 25/03/2023 21:05

Thanks @Geranium1984. I've actually offered DS2 my little finger to suck on when he clearly wants to sleep and he drifts quite easily. So clearly he does like to suck but I feel like it's the milk he's objecting to when he is tired (partly because it just floods him and he had a decent feed not long before). They are so tricky when they are newborn IMO. Adorable but my goodness....I find toddlers infinitely easier.

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Geranium1984 · 26/03/2023 08:42

I know, I feel like I'm waiting for my baby to get older so life is easier 🙈
Yes, my DD2 would often choke on the milk.
If he's still having trouble in a couple of weeks you could look to see a lactation practitioner for tounge tie etc. At the moment he is so young and getting the hang of BF as well as your supply stabilising. I had my DD2 checked and she has a high palate so we had some exercises to do to help her feed better.

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