Breastfeeding reassurance please!

[LDNLCN]

No one tells you how mentally taxing BFing can be. This is my first baby and I'm really struggling atm.

It was a real process to be able to breastfeed. DD was in NICU for 4 days so I was unable to bf. The hospital I was in was understaffed with just one midwife per ward, this meant no help or advice on how to express or bf. I was just given a few bottles of formula and no more was said. I always wanted to bf so was determined to make it happen. When I got home from the hospital I tried everything but DD wouldn't latch so I started expressing. Long story short, after help from a lactation specialist and nipple shields 5 weeks later I am now exclusively BFing DD.

The issue I have is trusting I have the supply. DD seems content, she has plenty of wet and dirty nappies but I constantly worry she is hungry.

Two nights ago I experienced my first cluster feed and was in complete panic mode. My Mum who is helping out pushed me to give her formula. My Mum didn't breastfeed, she had been pro formula from day one (nothing wrong with that but I have always wanted to BF). I instantly felt defeated after giving in and giving her formula. Especially after googling and realising she was cluster feeding.

Again tonight my Mum and partner keep saying "oh she's hungry, shall I prepare formula?". I want to scream!!! I keep telling them she's not hungry she's cluster feeding but they just don't get it. They are starting to affect my confidence. Logically I know she is fine because she seems content after feeding and nappies etc. I think she is just hitting a growth spurt.

Please, any advice on how to deal with my Mum and partner? And even more importantly any advice on cluster feeding as no one told me about them? It's all new to me!

Sorry for the rant, I just feel so alone in this.

Hi op.

First of all big hugs.

Wow that posted a bit too early lol. Forgive me, this is my first time replying. I breastfed for 2years and also work as a children's nurse. The advice I can offer you is to look up clinical signs of dehydration and poor nutrition. You will quickly see that you have a healthy little baby! The difficulty with BF babies is that there is no, "they had 3oz". You go by what you see and how they respond. Have a Google and use them to support yourself. You can say, no thanks DH. They're clustering because they are doing XYZ. You can also count wet nappies and have that support you, also look up stomach size at their age to comfort you- it's surprisingly smaller than you think. If you give your nipple a little squeeze and can see milk, you know you have a supply. Keep on feeding to build up, you can even use a Hakka to passively pump but we warned, oversupply is very possible with one! Lol. Their skin, the fonatele etc they all show signs of dehydration. I'm sure you are doing just fine. Best of luck x

Well done op. You are doing a brilliant job.

My second was in NICU for 10 days and 6 weeks prem so it took us a while to get bf going.

Wet and dirty nappies and putting on weight are the signs that baby is getting enough.

Cluster feeding us totally normal and baby's way of increasing your supply. It's completely natural. Baby can also cluster feed for comfort.

And it's a sign that bf is going well.

You need to tell your mum and partner that you know they means well but back off and support you. You could always ask HV to talk to them and answer their concerns.

Do you have any local bf support groups you can go to. I found that really helpful. I was the first in my family to bf and whilst my family were supportive they couldn't offer any advice. Your HV should have details.

You're doing really well. Like you've found out, cluster feeding is totally normal and thankfully doesn't last forever. I'm not sure how old your baby is now, but with both mine (both breastfed) they naturally fell into a feeding pattern around 10-12 weeks where they'd feed roughly every 3 hours in the day and then do longer stretches at night. I found the pattern quite reassuring because there I wasn't second guessing myself all the time.

The key indicators that your baby is getting enough is everything you've said, a content baby with frequent wet and dirty nappies. Also, your baby likely gets weighed at appointments and should be following a rough weight curve.

As for how to deal with your partner / mum, I'd just tell them that you are enjoying breastfeeding and there is nothing to suggest your baby isn't thriving and just stay firm that you won't be using formula. Your body already grew another human, it's capable of amazing things! Try and have faith that your body is doing exactly what it needs to to sustain your baby. You're doing really well! Breastfeeding can be bloody hard at times but there are also so many positives! You've got this!! 💪🏻

Well done for persevering!
Yes, cluster feeding is completely normal. Like you said if nappies are fine and frequent, and she's content after a feed then she's doing great, and you're doing great too.

Cluster feeding can happen any time of day but most often in the evenings when they're getting tired, and everything around them starts to wind down and quieten. This can peak at 6 weeks old but continue for a few weeks after that sometimes. You sound though like you have a pretty happy baby though on the whole.

fair play to you for breastfeeding after a rough start. You seem to know that the baby is getting enough - they have plenty of wet and dirty nappies. I found that saying things like - my doctor told me this is normal and important to build up my supply shuts people up. Join a breastfeeding group if you can. It’s so helpful to talk with others and babies have mad growth spurts where they may feed constantly for a day and I was like WTF. I was surrounded by family telling me that my babies behaviour was wrong because they were used to bottle feeding. It was so helpful to have others in the same situation who were experiencing the same.

Look up safe cosleeping if you haven't already. Make sure you are drinking and eating enough. Snuggle up with your baby and just go with it. Feed on demand and as pps said as long as baby is having wet nappies, it's all good, very early days still.

Thank you all so much for your reassurance. Reading your comments helps me confirm we're on the right track. I have found a bf group I'm going to attend next Friday. Thank you for that suggestion! I also have a HV appointment coming up, a friend advised taking my Mum with to hopefully confirm DD is growing well.

Well done for getting to where you are after a tough start - my baby is now 12 weeks and I was floored by how emotionally challenging I found BF (we had a tricky start too). He also began really ramping up feeding at 5 Weeks and I got really rattled by all the comments to "just give him a bottle". I found support groups so so helpful in terms of reassuring me and helping me keep going through the hard days. But I think the main thing that's helped is just trying to trust my instincts and accept that I just have a frequent feeder! Kathryn Stagg's Instagram posts are really helpful too especially the one on expectations on how often babies feed!

Be kind to yourself and hope you can feel proud for all you've achieved!

BFing is so challenging but Im enjoying it nonetheless! I would love to at least get to 6 months.

Kathryn was actually the LLC who helped me get BFing. She was brilliant.

LC*