Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

why did you stop breastfeeding?

29 replies

clarahj · 09/02/2008 21:09

Hi all. This is in no way meant to be a contraversial thread, or pass judgement on the way people feed their babies, it is just a question i would love as many answers as possible to.
How do you know when to stop bfing? My son is 6 months old and i am still bfing between 5 and 10 bfs in 24 hours. He has started on solids with reasonable success although is rather fussy and only likes sweet potato and parsnip but that is another matter entirely . He is also happy to take a bottle - been having the odd bottle since boxing day (maybe 1 or 2 a week) - he even stayed the night with my parents last week and was bottle fed for a full 12 hours with no problem (my boobs were another issue though OWWWWW! .
So there is no problem on his part and i enjy doing it BUT there are a few niggly annoying things that mostly wash over me but some days (like today) just drive me mad! (such as he is distracted easily and pulls my nipple and it hurts, he pinches, i want to wear a dress, i want dh to take a bit more responsibility, i want my boobs to go back down to their normal size to name a few).
BUT they all seem like such trivial reasons to give up bfing, and i guess i dont really want to, i am all a bit mixed up at the moment and glad i ahve made it to 6 months!
So why did you decide to give up bfing?
I need advice from some wise ladies

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 09/02/2008 21:12

Well done for making it to 6 months!
Only you can decide whether the reasons are 'trivial', they are your reasons! You do say "I don't really want to" so why not carry on for another month and then think about it again?

StarlightMcKenzie · 09/02/2008 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

StealthPolarBear · 09/02/2008 21:19

How does it hurt SM? Just more sensitive?
(sorry to be nosey )

AngelaLM · 09/02/2008 21:20

Hi, I gave up at six months on the dot. I found it very painful from day 1 all the way through. I saw many different counsellors but no one could solve my problem, I think we just didn't gel. For me it was important that I got to six months, I had some ridiculous notion that I wasn't a good mother if I didn't. With hindsight I realise I was being daft, I should have accepted that it wasn't meant to be and finished earlier. I'm glad I did get to six months though. I'm 5 months pg again and hoping that it will be easier this time. I'll go on for as long as it feels right this time whether 6 days or 6 months.
Trust your instincts and do what feels right. x

sophierosie · 09/02/2008 21:23

I stopped completely when dd was about 9 months (which coincided when she got teeth too). I was only doing one bf a day (bedtime) which was really more for me as I went back to work ft when she was 6 months old so I felt that was our special time together as she wasn't really a cuddly baby so didn't have any other opportunities for a snuggle.

I never put any time limits on it when I started but I remember getting quite tearful when I gave her her last bf. As an aside, yesterday dd who is now nearly 3 was walking in the house breastfeeding her teddy

Pannacotta · 09/02/2008 21:24

Fed DS1 till he was 2. He self weaned when I was pregnant with DS2.
Am feeding DS2 who is 9 months and plan to feed him till he wants to stop as well.

jellies · 09/02/2008 21:25

I fed Ds1 for 11 months and DS2 for 8 months and only managaed DS3 for 5 months
Gave up first time as very pregnant with DS2 and did not want to be feeding two.
Gave up second time as I was going into hospital for a week and I dont kno if it was hospital smells or the drugs I was on, he wouldn't latch and suck.. just refused when I got home..
This time DS1 just started school and DS2 preschool, felt as though he was never getting a feed till he was full kept pulling him off for school runs and my hubby wanted his boobs back!

auntymandy · 09/02/2008 21:26

i gave up when they decided to..around 9 months to a year. but give up when you are ready.

FrannyandZooey · 09/02/2008 21:30

I knew it was time to stop because ds said "Mummy I am too old for milkies now, I am not going to have it any more." He was nearly 4 and had been very keen to breastfeed every bedtime up until then.

I know this is a slightly unusual response but you said you were interested in as many answers as possible! I enjoyed feeding him for the most part, and it was very important to him, up until the point where he decided to stop. I was glad to be able to continue until he stopped needing it - I knew it wouldn't go on forever.

I missed wearing a dress, too, but after a while I was able to anticipate when ds would need feeding and be more flexible about things like this. I did once get caught out and have to retire to a toilet to take off my entire dress and feed a cross ds If you suit wrap dresses, you can feed quite easily and discreetly in those if you have a wrap or muslin handy.

You might find a nursing necklace (pretty but strong necklace for him to fiddle with while feeding) or another interesting object for him to hold while feeding, will help with the pinching / twiddling issue. The one piece of advice I would give is if some habit is going to annoy you, DON'T put up with it, as it will probably go on and on and become an integral part of the breastfeed! Move his hand and say gently 'no' if necessary when he hurts you or fiddles in a way you don't like. It's ok to set boundaries on feeding to help you carry on enjoying it.

pukkapatch · 09/02/2008 21:34

ds1 mix fed. he refused two weeks into starting on solids
dc2 and dc3 about the 8.5 month mark. two weeks after finally getting them to take a bottle of formula. they were already well into their solids at this point. i wanted to stop beofre they could come an dlift my shirt up.so suited me perfectly

StarlightMcKenzie · 09/02/2008 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FrannyandZooey · 09/02/2008 21:38

"It hurts because my nipples are more sensitive, but mainly because my DS likes to drag his teeth over them sometimes when he is feeding."

OMG Starlight you are a SAINT for having continued at all. The thought of that happening to sensitive pregnant nipples has made me SQUIRM

ellceeell · 09/02/2008 21:40

ds - I fed until he was 11 months and he didn't seem very bothered any longer. dd1 I breastfed until she was 14 months - ds was going into hospital for an extended stay and I wanted to be with him - I'd never been any good with expressing and the hospital was a three hour drive from home. I think dd2 would have gone on longer if I'd given her the chance. dd2 had what I was later told was a nursing strike when she was about 9 months. She just stopped. I was very uncomfortable, got no helpful advice from my HV or the breastfeeding helpline that I phoned so - that was that!

kama · 09/02/2008 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

shelleylou · 09/02/2008 21:44

Well don to making it too 6 months i wish i could have done but suffered quiet badly wiv pnd. I was diagnosed when ds was 5 weeks old and couldnt stand that closeness with him. I know it sounds horrid and i do regret not being able to do it longer.

StarlightMcKenzie · 09/02/2008 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

harpsichordcarrier · 09/02/2008 21:50

my dd1 gave up of her own accord when she was about 3 - 3.5 she just gradually dropped off the feeds and by 2 yo she was feeding just 2/3 times a day
imo allowing her to self wean was a wonderful experience for both of us, gentle and calm and very good for her.
dd2 is still bf on demand at 26 months, she loves bf and pops on and off during the day. we accommodate issues like nipple twiddling - it is much easier when they are older and able to reason with
tbh I found bf after six months incredibly rewarding, just the start of bf for us. very beneficial for both my dds in terms of bonding/confidence/calming and also nutritional benefits and emotional well being.

accessorizequeen · 09/02/2008 21:56

ds2 gave up at 10.5 months, and I felt that from 6-7 months was when I really enjoyed it, it wasn't a pita anymore same as harpsichord. So I was quite devastated. I'd resolved most of the other issues e.g. pinching, bitings and it wasn't so often. Six months seems to be pivotal for a lot of women, though, I think SPB's advice is good, see how you feel in another month, by then he'll maybe be on 3 meals a day and not feeding so often cos he's full of solids!

FrannyandZooey · 09/02/2008 22:02

Starlight being pg myself atm, I am EXTREMELY sympathetic to people's sensitive nipples
I do know people who have been determined to carry on through discomfort of pregnancy and so on, and I know it isn't uncomfortable for everyone, but personally I don't think it would be for me.

Original poster
clarahj · 09/02/2008 22:05

shelleylou - that sounds awful - hope you are feeling better now.

Franny - the necklace idea is great! I will do a search for one in a mo! (and then drop big hints to dh for Valentines Day!). 4 years is great! I had originally wanted to carry on until he wanted to stop - hopefully i will be able to continue for much longer than this!

Thanks for your stories ladies - i think i am going to try and ride it out and hope it is a blip - i have been feeling a bit crap lately anyway so maybe it is connected.

The thought of stopping makes me feel so terribly sad - the thought of getting my breasts back into a size 10/12 is so utterly exilerating (sp!?!). Its all just selfish nonsense on my part really i think

OP posts:
Bendi · 09/02/2008 22:05

Stopped 2 days ago, he will be 3 in May & we were doing morning & night. The mornings were great as he'd stay in our bed until 9 if he had a boob in his chops....
But, we've done the sleeping out at Grandparents thing, the riding a bicycle thing & the toilet training thing, so it just seemed time. Broke my heart tonight tho' when he asked (again & again)for buzzy. Seems he was just as happy with a butchered version of Goldilocks & some random Teddy Bears & was snoring his cap off in 10 minutes.
However long anyone manages is great, because it's not always easy, either in public or private and every day is a gift. Not that I'm evangelical, honest........

And STOP fiddling with that other one right now, I'm getting Radio Luxemborg in my left ear.!

BroccoliSpears · 09/02/2008 22:06

Dd was about 13 months. We'd reached a stage where she wasn't really bothered about bedtime feed - she would latch on and then spend the next 15 minutes giggling and playing 'how far can mummy's rubber nipples stretch' with her teeth. It felt silly to be putting effort and energy into cajoling her to continue to BF when she obviously didn't particularly need it for comfort or security, and I knew she was eating a fair diet.

We stopped very gradually - mostly for my benefit because I didn't want engorgement. She'd been quite a big feeder until she lost interest.

I was absolutely clear in my head that I would always feed her if she asked or wanted to... but she never wanted to.

I was comfortable with letting it go. Happy ending.

TheBlonde · 09/02/2008 22:08

I gave up cos I was pg and I didn't want to tandem feed

BabiesEverywhere · 09/02/2008 22:10

I haven't stopped yet, DD is 17 months old and I am 3.5 months pregnant.

I originally decided to breastfeed to 6 months.

At 6 months decided to go for a year, so I could wean DD straight on to cow's milk and save hassle and expense of formula.

Got to a year and thought very hard about whether to continue or stop...my decision was not, to make a decision and continue nursing on a day to day basis and to see how things went.

Original poster
clarahj · 09/02/2008 22:15

harpsichordcarrier - well, if it was just the start at 6 months then i cant give up now! I dont want to be so close to somethong great and then not achieve it.
I think dh might get a bit jelous/resentful/daft about it too? Does anyone else find this? I think he thinks i just sit on my arse and feed because i am a lazy cow and i dont want to do the housework (which i dont of course , but that is not why i am sitting on my arse). Actually i can find it quite frustrating when other thing need to be done and i could do without his moaning tbh.
Don't get me wrong i love to feed ds - i love to sit and cuddle him and stroke his head and stare into his eyes, and i love the big milky grin i get afterwards - i dont mean to moan .

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread