Being advised to stop breastfeeding - so upset

Tgilaura · 2023-02-20T14:01:06+00:00

Hi everyone. I ve been breastfeeding my daughter for 19 months now, and for the last 4 months I ve had various problems with my nipple (only one boobs works now) where it’s been sore, flaky, itchy and shiny. I ve had several creams, been treated for thrush (and baby) and today the doctor has said he thinks it’s dermatitis and that it’s my body’s way of telling me it’s probably time to stop feeding. I m unreasonably upset about it, but I can’t really explain why? Maybe because the choice has been taken away from me? I was planning to go until 2, but maybe I would be the same then when it was time to stop? I don’t really know what I m asking. I’ve been prescribed a steroid as a lazy ditch attempt to get things to heal. Does anyone have any advice or words of wisdom - both about how to cut down and why I feel so emotional about stopping? I only feed now before bed and during the night unless she’s unwell so it’s not like I haven’t already cut back. Sorry for the ramble.

Nightmanagerfan · 20/02/2023 14:04

It's just advice. You don't have to stop if you dot want to? Who knows if the b/f is causing the issue? Could it be washing powder or another cause? I would call the National Breastfeeding Helpline and ask what they suggest

MrsBunnyEars · 20/02/2023 14:04

I get it - I was in a similar situation at about 18 months.

Is your doctor any kind of specialist in BFing? I won’t recommend talking to your HV as my experience of them has been appalling, but could you speak to a lactation consultant who specialises in these kind of issues?

In my case, I massively cut down BFing, so we did it a few times a week - usually at bed time or when she was ill. That carrier on till about 2.5 and worked for us, but I have no idea whether it would give your poor boobs a chance to heal while keeping production up.

Sarahcoggles · 20/02/2023 14:05

I'd be hopeful the steroid cream will help

oakleaffy · 20/02/2023 14:08

If you feel upset, then you feel upset- Nothing wrong with that.
It probably is because the choice has been taken from you-
Maybe someone with medical experience will advise-
Best of luck.
Sometimes feelings are “Irrational”
You have given your child a great start with this long, so don’t feel bad if it’s too painful to continue.
I was advised to stop at 6 months! ( Weaning)
Wish I’d not!

Original poster

Tgilaura · 20/02/2023 14:09

Nightmanagerfan · 20/02/2023 14:04

It's just advice. You don't have to stop if you dot want to? Who knows if the b/f is causing the issue? Could it be washing powder or another cause? I would call the National Breastfeeding Helpline and ask what they suggest

I know, but it’s at the point where it’s getting very painful to feed, so I m running out of options. I think it probably is the b/f because it’s only the bottom half of my nipple where there’s a problem, the top half is fine so maybe it’s her teeth? Although I don’t feel like she’s biting me.
thanks for the advice, I will look up the phone number for the breastfeeding helpline. 😊

OP posts:

Choconut · 20/02/2023 14:10

'Your bodies way of telling you it's time to stop' - what absolute nonsense, if you had this around your vagina would the doctor tell you it's your bodies way of telling you it's time to stop having sex?
Hopefully the steroid will help, if not see if you can speak to a specialist about it.

oakleaffy · 20/02/2023 14:11

@Tgilaura Probably is teeth- A nipple guard?

Original poster

Tgilaura · 20/02/2023 14:13

MrsBunnyEars · 20/02/2023 14:04

I get it - I was in a similar situation at about 18 months.

Is your doctor any kind of specialist in BFing? I won’t recommend talking to your HV as my experience of them has been appalling, but could you speak to a lactation consultant who specialises in these kind of issues?

In my case, I massively cut down BFing, so we did it a few times a week - usually at bed time or when she was ill. That carrier on till about 2.5 and worked for us, but I have no idea whether it would give your poor boobs a chance to heal while keeping production up.

I don’t think he’s any sort of specialist, it was a GP. He looked surprised when I said she was 19months and I was hoping to go until 2.
I suppose I was just hoping for some magic cure rather than it being the “fault” of breastfeeding, you know?
I will see if I can find a specialist like you suggest, but I think I m going to have to massively cut back, maybe to just one feed before bed. It seems cruel to offer one feed in the night because she ll be confused why only just once. Maybe it’s kinder to cut the night feeds totally.

OP posts:

Original poster

Tgilaura · 20/02/2023 14:14

Sarahcoggles · 20/02/2023 14:05

I'd be hopeful the steroid cream will help

Fingers crossed! I will come back and update if it makes a difference!

OP posts:

Original poster

Tgilaura · 20/02/2023 14:14

Choconut · 20/02/2023 14:10

'Your bodies way of telling you it's time to stop' - what absolute nonsense, if you had this around your vagina would the doctor tell you it's your bodies way of telling you it's time to stop having sex?
Hopefully the steroid will help, if not see if you can speak to a specialist about it.

Thanks for this, it made me laugh. With the way Women’s health is managed they probably would say the same 😅😅😅😅

OP posts:

PaulRuddDoesntAge · 20/02/2023 14:15

A male GP? Ignore him and get specialist advice from breastfeeding helplines.

Good luck OP.

Original poster

Tgilaura · 20/02/2023 14:21

oakleaffy · 20/02/2023 14:11

@Tgilaura Probably is teeth- A nipple guard?

I will go and get one today - I had kind of written it off as I m not sure if she ll accept it but I ll give anything a go at this point!

OP posts:

Cuppsoupmonster · 20/02/2023 14:22

PaulRuddDoesntAge · 20/02/2023 14:15

A male GP? Ignore him and get specialist advice from breastfeeding helplines.

Good luck OP.

Are they experts in skin conditions though?

Emmamoo89 · 20/02/2023 14:41

Dont stop if you don't want to x

Marylou62 · 20/02/2023 14:50

This happened to a friend of mine.. She just fed on one side... one breast was slightly bigger for a while but when she eventually stopped they evened out... absolutely no need to stop until you are ready..x

PaulRuddDoesntAge · 20/02/2023 15:18

Cuppsoupmonster · 20/02/2023 14:22

Are they experts in skin conditions though?

Show quote history

I think they will have better advice rather than coming up with bullshit like “it’s your body’s way of telling you stop”.

A male generalist with no experience of breastfeeding should not spout such nonsense. The specialist helplines on the other hand will support the OP to continue if she wants to. Heck, some of the people there might have experienced the same problem!

maddy68 · 20/02/2023 15:19

You have to look after yourself too. Your baby will be absolutely fine.

Wrongsideofpennines · 20/02/2023 15:29

Exactly the same situation with me. I kept going back to the GP about a similar stage and he did the most useless dry swab on a dry wound and told me it came back clear so it will clear up if I stop breastfeeding for a couple of weeks. He was useless and advising how I would maintain my supply or wean safely to avoid mastitis. If someone had this issue and their baby was only 2 months what ridiculous advice would they give them?!

I decided to not give up, sought some advice from La Leche League and a local breastfeeding peer supporter and then followed some of the kellymom's advice about saline baths. It definitely helped and we used nipple shields but she already was using them so used to it. Unfortunately our feeding journey ended at 22 months due to another pregnancy and complications. I cried for weeks about stopping feeding. And nobody really understood how hard it was for me.

I wonder if your issue is partly due to a 'lazy' toddler latch? With you staying it was just one side of the nipple makes me wonder if a change of position might help. But definitely seek qualified help. Ask another GP for a swab, perhaps a GP that says they specialise in women's health.

Original poster

Tgilaura · 20/02/2023 15:58

Wrongsideofpennines · 20/02/2023 15:29

Exactly the same situation with me. I kept going back to the GP about a similar stage and he did the most useless dry swab on a dry wound and told me it came back clear so it will clear up if I stop breastfeeding for a couple of weeks. He was useless and advising how I would maintain my supply or wean safely to avoid mastitis. If someone had this issue and their baby was only 2 months what ridiculous advice would they give them?!

I decided to not give up, sought some advice from La Leche League and a local breastfeeding peer supporter and then followed some of the kellymom's advice about saline baths. It definitely helped and we used nipple shields but she already was using them so used to it. Unfortunately our feeding journey ended at 22 months due to another pregnancy and complications. I cried for weeks about stopping feeding. And nobody really understood how hard it was for me.

I wonder if your issue is partly due to a 'lazy' toddler latch? With you staying it was just one side of the nipple makes me wonder if a change of position might help. But definitely seek qualified help. Ask another GP for a swab, perhaps a GP that says they specialise in women's health.

Hi. Thank you for your message. The “lazy toddler latch” has struck a bit of a chord because I also thought the same about it only being on the bottom half of the nipple. I normally feed her lying on my side because it’s usually at night. Maybe I ll have to look into some more inventive latches, and perhaps saline baths as well!
I ve been and got some nipple shields so we ll give those a go,( although I can imagine how she’s going to react 🤣)
I m sorry to hear how difficult it was for you, that’s exactly how I feel so I have lots of empathy.

OP posts:

Original poster

Tgilaura · 20/02/2023 16:00

maddy68 · 20/02/2023 15:19

You have to look after yourself too. Your baby will be absolutely fine.

I know. I m reaching the point where I can’t continue much longer with the pain and general unpleasantness of it all. I m having a last ditch attempt and then will have to decide

OP posts:

Thepurplelantern · 20/02/2023 16:02

Have you checked for blebs I got them a bit once teeth came in very localised pain. I’m not sure about the dry skin though that doesn’t fit.

journeyofinsanity · 20/02/2023 18:27

To defend the GP, they are being pragmatic. The easiest and quickest way to deal with the problem is to stop breastfeeding. You want to continue but there isn't any inherent need. Often medically the best treatment is the simplest.
As a parent, you will be getting used to an awful lot of things that happen out of your control. To a certain extent you need to learn to roll with it and accept that every battle is not one worth fighting.

NemesiaPinkLagoon · 20/02/2023 21:01

Hi @Tgilaura well done for breastfeeding for 19 months!

Like a previous poster I wondered if you had tried adjusting the latch during feeds or trying different positions.

Are there any breastfeeding groups near you? If so it would be worth going to discuss this with the peer supporters.

I found this page on kellymom about sore nipples which might be helpful:
kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/sorenipples-older/

As for the emotional side, it's often very emotional to finish breastfeeding or contemplate moving on to the next stage of your relationship with your child. Partners or others might not understand the bond you've built up.

Good luck, whatever happens!