Breastfeeding aversion?

[Glamisastateofmind]

I’d be grateful for any advice anyone can give me on this as it’s really getting me down!

My baby is 18 weeks and EBF. He was born on the 25th centile, jumped up to 50th and is now back down to the 25th. He has also always been a gassy baby and had a 50% tongue tie cut at 14 weeks.

In general his sleeping is good and he only tends to be up once in the night.

He’s fine when I feed him at night/when he is sleepy. However, when he’s awake I am really struggling to feed him - he won’t last longer than a few minutes before pulling away. He often gets upset (upsetting for us both) and sometimes arches his back. I think he may have a shallow latch, but I just can’t seem to help him to make it better. I had a look online and found out about a feeding aversion? Has anyone had one of these, and if so do you have any advice? Or maybe I am trying to feed him too much? He’s normally so lovely and cheery and it’s really horrible seeing him so upset when I try and feed him. I also feel like I am focussing too much on getting him sleepy do I can finally feed him. Please help a mama out!

Thanks!

Never heard of this before but would you consider pumping and perhaps giving him your milk from a bottle during the day and nursing at night?

He might just be over stimulated during the day. Try feeding in quiet, dim rooms and see if that helps.

Also just wanted to say huge well done, breastfeeding isn't always easy.

Thanks for your kind words! I have tried pumping (and can get quite a lot of milk quickly so I don’t think it is a supply issue). On the occasions I’ve tried he hasn't taken a bottle very well, but that could be because he isn’t used to it? Might ask my DH to have a go.

I have tried getting back into bed and feeding to ocean noises which has sometimes marginally worked - not ideal for getting out during the day though (I’d like to not be housebound for the next weeks).

Have you got a fast let down or over supply? My ds struggled with that in the beginning and it made him very gassy. I'd also consider if it's maybe trapped wind, my ds would still look to bf but wouldn't stay latched, arch back etc when he's got windy pains. We find tummy massage, wonky winding, lying him on his left side and the bath helps. You could also look at paced feeding which mirrors bf more when using a bottle although I haven't tried it yet myself. How often is he looking to feed? When ds is really struggling to settle to feed etc and I've tried all else I go back to skin to skin and just stick him under my dressing gown and have a cuddle- usually he will fall asleep or start to feed. Maybe worth a try? I'd speak to a lactation consultant as well or join a bf support group for some support. Hv should also be able to advise you too?

Are you feeding on demand, or when you think you need to feed him?

This sounds like a really normal (and really irritating) phase for a four month old baby!

They get so interested in everything around them that they only settle properly to a feed when they're really motivated/hungry.

They are also much more efficient than when they were little, so we often over estimated how long a feed needs to be.

A couple of feeds in a quiet place each day to make sure he has a chance to feed if he wants to, and follow his cues - if he's not hungry, not pushing it really helps!

It doesn't sound like aversion to me, just four month fussies 😄

Thank you all for your comments - they have made me feel so much better.

@Lavender14 yes he is very gassy. I have to wind him loads after each feed and we often get random burps throughout the day. What do you mean by wonky winding? I have contacted my local Breastfeeding Alliance for their thoughts too.

@BIWI probably a bit of both? It’s difficult for me to work out when he should be feeding as his feeds are so short. So I probably err on the side of trying to feed (even if he isn’t hungry).

@RockCrushesLizard that makes sense - I think I am forgetting that he is probably a more efficient feeder now too. I seem to have it in my head that if he isn’t having a long feed then he isn’t having enough, but maybe it’s just that he’s taken more than I realise. Here’s hoping he’ll grow out of the fussiness soon! I think I just need to relax a bit more and pay extra attention to his cues!

@Glamisastateofmind it's a very long time since mine were babies, so I have no doubt that advice has changed - probably several times! - since then.

But I'd say that if he's pulling away, it's probably that he's not hungry - or that he's taken enough after those first few minutes - you're just topping him up. From memory, I'd also say that if he's not feeding longer than a few minutes, he's not benefiting from the hind milk, which is richer and more calorie dense than the foremilk.

You don't need to try and work out when he's hungry. Trust me, he will tell you when he's hungry! That's the joy of feeding on demand.

(With apologies to any midwives/health visitors/breast-feeding specialists who know a lot more than me)

@Glamisastateofmind wonky winding is a winding technique where you basically put them against you facing towards your right shoulder so they're upright but then lower them at a diagonal about 40 degrees to their left so they're at an angle. Basically is meant to help the wee stubborn bubbles escape by working with the shape of their tummy. I also find when I feed with ds lying on his left he burps as he feeds which means I've less winding to do after. His wind is worse at night so I only feed on my right side coming up to bedtime and during the night and just pump the left in the morning as he's better at getting wind up during the day. I also reduced my dairy intake and I noticed a difference in how gassy he was, a lot of babies have a temporary intolerance to cows milk so might be worth thinking about your diet and keeping a wee record to see if you can identify anything that might be triggering it. I think broccoli can also be a common offender but I'm not sure how much evidence there is, most of what I've heard in terms of diet is anecdotal but I personally felt it made a difference. Good luck it's wild when they're crying sore so make sure you get someone else to step in from time to time to give you a break.