Want to stop b feeding 18 m old but she won't let me

[corriefan]

I'd be grateful for any advice. My 18 month old daughter is obsessed with breast feeding! She has always refused a bottle and wouldn't eat solids for a long time. She sleeps thorugh the night now but throughout the day she constantly demanding booby, groping me, crying etc and screams if I say no or try to offer her something else, any minor upset beings her running for the boob! She is teething now I think so the moment my bum touches a seat or I pick her up she starts grabbing me. It wouldn't be too bad but when she has it she swaps sides a lot, pulls off roughly, covers me up and then uncovers me, squirms and moves about a lot and twiddles and fondles the nipple she isn't feeding from, which I don't like the feeling of, despite months of pushing her hand away and it doesn't seem like a lot is coming out anyway. I planned on feeding her til about 2 but I'm not enjoying it anymore, but she really likes it, has anyone got any advice? thanks.

Anyone able to help with this? thanks!

The nipple twiddling is her way of getting you ready - it stimulates letdown so she can get on with the job as soon as she latches on.

I am in the same boat as you with an 18m old too! She is down to about 3 feeds a day - on waking and before bed. But she will want it more on weekends when I am around. It is a pain tbh. I just try distraction - she is a bit more accepting of this now she is older but occasionally will to into full on tantrum mode if refused.

Sorry don't know what to suggest - just thought I'd empathise! I've resigned to just keeping going until she wants to stop. I can't see her giving it up easily.

i went cold turkey at 18months. well, i guess it took about 4-6 weeks, but i decided that it was going to end but only set about it when i had the energy which is why it took so long i guess. i know others just stop, but i couldn't face that.

i knocked out daytime feeds and although she did scream and cry a bit, i was surprised how quickly she settled for a cuddle and distraction - reading a book or playing with playdough - anything really as long as we were doing it together. a few weeks later i stopped the evening feed. again, she cried a bit, but then i started singing to her which she loves. now we have to sing at least 3 songs every night before bed, which luckily i enjoy and it seems to settle her.
lastly we stopped the morning feed. that was the hardest as dh and i like to be in bed with her for half and hour or so in the mornings with a cup of tea and bf-ing dd was always part of that routine. but again, a big box of toys next to the bed was what did it. and raisins and drinks of water when she got up.
she has never drunk cows milk so i was worried that she'd never stop feeing from me and at 18m i was just a bit tired of it, wanted to get pregnant and also feel that i could comfort her without the breast.

it can be done, but you have to accept that she will protest. but also that it may not be as hard as you imagine it will be as long as you give her the time and attention instead of the boob.
HTH.

Thanks for the advice. I think being with her most of the time makes it difficult- I only work occasionally, but she's fine when I'm not there. I think I'm going to have to just be firm- the morning feed will definitely be the hardest, I can tell that's when she gets the most as well- she's really gulping. It just takes so much effort to say no all the time! I feel like bandaging up my boobs!

TBH, i only work part time (and sometimes very part time), so i'm with dd most of the time as well. but like yours, she was always fine when i wasn't there. turned down cows milk in the morning or evening if someone else tried to give it to her which is when i realized that bf was more of a comfort thing than hunger.
i agree, the morning was the hardest to give up. you could try offering her some of a food she really likes (for us it was raisins) after a short bf and she if she goes for it. she may get to look forward to it so much that she asks for it before the bf.

good luck. FWIW its a really nice feeling being able to communicate and comfort dd without bf. i know 18months isn't the longest some go, but it is a good length of time for you both to have benefitted lots from it and so know that if you stop now, it will be a job well done.

I am reading this with interest. My DS2 is 13 months and has been on 2 b/f a day for a few months now but has started to really grapple with me during the day, always trying to put his hand down my jumper, back arching etc and I too am finding it very difficult.

I want to continue b/f but was thinking of knocking it down to just the morning feed to try and stop the fiddling. He has always been quite clingy and I know it is reaching for comfort, so good to read about some tips of how to distract etc.

Mine loves raisins too so I'll try that when it comes to the morning one! Now I just need to muster up the energy to consistently cut out the day feeds, cos sometimes it's just easier to give in and I feel a bit like I'm depriving her!

that is exactly how i felt corriefan. and it took me a while to get the energy together i confess. but when you do, it is worth it.

corriefan, my ds did this around this age. I had had enough of it but didn't want to stop as he has a dairy intolerence and I felt that he really should be getting breastmilk instead. So, I chose the times of day when I was willing to feed him. It worked out to be three times during the day (morning, before nap and bedtime) plus a morning and afternoon feed if he asked for them. It took a few days for him to get the hang of it, but I quickly found that he became more focussed during feeding. Sometimes I have let things slide, say if he is ill, or if we are away and very quickly it degenerates into constant pestering and bobbing from one side to the other or feeding for two seconds and running off, only to come back 2 mins later for more. It is hard to get back on track from this sometimes, but I find that a drink and a snack on my knee with a cuddle often does the trick.

Good luck, whichever route you take.

Thanks, it's great to hear from other people in the same boat, she's eating raisins happily at the moment in lieu of boob!

Just wanted to empathise. No solutions found here, but your dd sounds much like mine. She turned 2 today, and is no better.

I am now pregnant with number two, so will wait and see what happens over the next few months, but am really hoping that I can get her down to just once or twice a day before the next one arrives.

I do believe in introducing 'nursing manners' in older toddlers. A nursing relationship should work on both sides.

My 17 month DD went though the covering and uncovering bit and the twiddling of the nipples. I started handing her objects of high interest when we nursed like my mobile phone or a set of house keys breaking the habit. I have heard wearing an interesting nursing necklace has the same effect.

I am working on stopping her moving so much whilst we nurse, especially as I'm 3 months pregnant and my nipples or more sensitive than normal but we are still working on this one

Well I successfully managed not to b feed between 10 am and bed time today but yesterday my dd could have done with some manners!- I was at a friend's house, chatting to her whilst carrying dd on my hip, I had quite a loose top and she was putting her hand down there as usual but I wasn't taking much notice gassing on and then she actually managed to get the nipple out and bend down and latch on from that position! I had to laugh! She likes necklaces but has broken quite a few!