Urgent Help needed

[talie]

I think my milk supply has stopped?! My dh left me yesterday with a toddler and a 6 month old baby and I was devastated. Lots of tears, stressed etc. and haven't eaten or drunk much for two days.

When I try and breastfeed my dd she seems to get really frustrated and suck for england and makes lots of loud moans! She ate more food tonight as well, as though she was starving!

Does anyone know if my milk has stopped because of what has happened - will it come back if I force myself to eat and drink more?? Please help, I couldn't cope with not being able to feed my dd as well as losing my dh!

Oh, hun, you poor thing. I really doubt your milk has dried up overnight, but perhaps the stress you're under is affecting your letdown? Someone more knowledgeable than me will no doubt be along to help you, but I'd suggest deep breathing to relax you when you're feeding - try to clear your mind and focus on your DD.

You need to eat and drink properly for all sorts of reasons, not just breastfeeding - it must be hard, and if you can't manage a full meal, do try to eat some fruit, bread, crackers, etc and drink lots of water.

I'm at work or I'd write more - big hugs and try to get a friend or relative in to give you a hand. xxx

It wont have stopped just like that. Perhaps your dd is sensing your hence her being upset. Dont force yourself to eat more or drink more.
If you want to speak to a breastfeeding counsellor the nct have a helpline for reassurnace you can speak to someone most of the time.

I'll find the number if you want.

Saying all that you clearly have bigger issues at the moment and if you wanted to you'd find loads of support from the relationship threads on this website from lots of mumsnetters.

Giving formula to give yourself a break would be perfectly understandable you know.

I hope things work out with you with DH.

I think it is very rare for milk to dry up so quickly. It is more likely to be the stress of what is going on. Try and relax when you feed - make that your special time together when you can forget about everything else. She is probably picking up your tenseness. And don't worry about using formula when you need to - if it gets you through a bad patch it is worth it.

I'm new to the whole breastfeeding thing so no advice but just wanted to know I'm thinking of you and would love to hear more from you, please let us know how you get on. Hugs to you. xxx

Sending cyber hugs to you Talie{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I too have now just about reached the 6 month mark BF my dd (3 months with DS) - celebrate your achievement - I hope you manage to carry on if thats what you want to do but dont worry if not - you have done so well to get this far - when your Dh is obviously not much help - why not start a thread in relationships so we can all try to support you - sounds like you need lots of friends ATM

Talie you sound like a great Mum to be thinking so much about the breastfeeding at such a horrid time. You poor thing.
I am also a breastfeeding Mum and have found the NCT helpline really supportive and useful. They have an option when you call which allows you to speak to someone urgently and outside of office hours. The number is 0870 444 8708.

I wish you luck and I hope you have good friends around you to help you.

talie - I am so sorry to hear your story. The milk ejection reflex ('let down') can be affected by huge stress, but it is temporary and will not affect supply in the long term. Just keep offering the breast to your baby. She may also need to suck for comfort and to feel close to you. This effect does not normally last for more than a few hours (though I have come across one case where it lasted 24 hours, when the mother had a sudden bereavement). Keep us posted.

Poor you. Lots of hugs, and hang on in there. x

Thanks for all your lovely messages. I am trying to stay as relaxed as possible around feeding times and have found this to be helpful.

I will try and make time to get onto the relationships thread as all advice is gratefully received on both counts, but everything is too painful at the minute and I don't often get chance to come on the internet.

Thanks again. :) :( :(

i am trying really hard to breastfeed but am finding it so hard. never seem to have enough milk and now i am so sore i cant feed. i am so low that i had a cigarette this morning after quitting a year ago. anyone help? i am nearly at the end of my tether!!!

oops sorry. am new to mumsnet and just realised i have put my new conversation in the wrong bit.

apologies again

jessia - start a new thread - it's easy :)