Crappy time bf dd, having no 2 in March and DETERMINED to bf this time - how can I prepare?

[c4it]

OK here goes, with my DD (now 2.4yrs) I had a terrible time trying to bf - I had not even considered the possibility that I would not be able to do it so was completely emotionally unprepared for the sense of failure . I had cracked nipples so bad I could not feed on 1 side for 8 weeks so was expressing every 2 hours to try to maintain supplies, DD wouldn't latch properly, didn't gain enough weight, I didn't produce enough milk, was pressurised to top up and generally battled my way through 16 weeks until DD refused point blank to latch and bottle fed from there on in.

I think I spoke to every bf counsellor, hv and mw at the time plus I had the support of my mum who bf 5 of us and still didn't so now with no 2 imminent I'm starting to get worried. What can I do to prepare myself and to make sure my supplies are better this time round? Any thoughts?

I think the best think to do is to read good books about it (LLL has got one called The womanly art to feed - I htink that is what it's called, and it is meant to be a brilliant book)
Another thing is, seek support groups out now
Also, try to relax a little, because just like every pg and Birth varies with each Baby, so can Bf and the experience of it.

Hi c4it, I'm afraid I've only got empathy rather than advice. I had a similar experience with DS, and although I'm nowhere near having my second yet, I know I'll feel exactly the same as you when I do. My one piece of encouragement is that, from what I've heard, babies are totally different in their skill at bf'ing. A friend of mine bf her first baby for a couple of months but found it quite tricky; then bf her second for a year with absolutely no problems; then gave up completely with her third after a couple of weeks because it was so difficult. She's convinced that she did exactly the same thing each time! So fingers crossed that you get one this time round who takes to it straight away .

Hi, i'm with MrsBumblebee on this one. I had similar problems bfing my ds. He was born by cs which made him so sleepy that he just didn't want to know! think it took 2 weeks for him to get the hang (ish) of latching on and then I reckon it took about 6 weeks to properly learn the skill. Was such a stressful time and I nearly gave up several times. In the end I was feeding him expressed milk from a cup and then a bottle- he seemed to have such a poor latch that it was hard work for all (mastitis and lots of tears). After that he did suss it and bfed for 6 months...phew.
Good luck with it and hope your LO gets to grips with it!

I can sympathesise too.....dd1 wouldn't latch at all (well we managed twice) despite huge efforts from midwives, BFCs and my doula. So I ended up expressing exclusively for a year for her.
DD2 came along and a completely different story.....she latched on & 14 mths later is still exclusively bfed. I got lots of support from my midwive & doula - they knew my history - and I phoned helplines galore for advice when I felt things weren't right and went to bfeeding clinics.
I wish you lots of luck. It can be different second time round - but the most important thing is to not beat yourself up too much if it doesn't happen. I tried everything with dd1 and in the end reconciled myself with the fact that she just didn't want to do it...and nothing I could do would change that. Hope this helps.

Oops and I can't spell either....

Thanks for the support - It's cheered me up . DD is quite determined when she makes her mind up (no idea where she gets that from ) so maybe she just couldn't be bothered. Anyone got any tips for increasing milk supply?

The best way to increase your milk supply is to feed, feed, feed, and feed again. I was so paranoid about having a low supply that as soon as ds yelped I would put him to the breast. He certainly didn't complain and I think it helped tbh.

Also a lot of people give up bf'ing after thinking or being told that they've got a 'hungry baby' and that their milk supply is low. I think in the majority of cases, this is crap. Nearly all babies are hungry (and remember they may just suckle at the breast and not feed), and it can take up to 6 weeks for your supply to establish itself.

Don't doubt yourself, you can do it!

Good luck xx

I had a bloody awful time BF dd and gave up at 6 weeks then expressed until she was 12 weeks. Like you I'd just assumed I'd BF and it was a horrible shock when it went so badly wrong.

To prepare for the next baby I read a lot on Kellymom and talked things through with a BF counsellor. I decided that I'd take it a day at a time if it didn't go well that I wouldn't beat myself up about it and feel as guilty.

I was lucky and had a very easy birth so put ds to the boob straight away. The midwife who delivered him did all my post-natal visits and she was totally superb as it still took a bit of work but ds was exclusively BF until starting solids at 6 months and BF still going strong now .

I'd definitely advise getting a BF counsellor in daily from the start to make sure the latch is spot on and so that you can minimise any nipple damage.

All babies are different, ds just seemed to naturally feed better than dd.

Good luck!

I'd say get as much help as you can from the midwives at the hospital - don't go home until you're happy with the latch on! MWs will help at home.
I had dc2 4 months ago, and the mw told me to demand feed as much as possible. So, like Ilike, I fed dd every time she squeaked.
Also eat lots of protien and carbs and rest as much as possible.
With ds (my eldest), my milk supply was amazing - literally had to sleep on a towel! But with dd, I have struggled to keep up, maybe because I'm more run down, maybe because she's hungrier?
Also, with dd, I took her to a chiropractor and he said that her jaw was wonky and that was giving me cracked nipples...
And buy some Lanisoh!
Good luck.