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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Help to stop breastfeeding my 11 month old DD

20 replies

mexicanmum · 04/12/2004 12:48

My baby refuses solids COMPLETELY and only wants to breastfeed. I need to give up but she just cries whenever she sees food or a spoon. I tried fingerfoods but she's not interested. She wants the breast all the time even for naps and many times during the night. What can I do??

OP posts:
MarsselectionboxLady · 04/12/2004 12:52

When my DS1 wouldn't stop feeding I took drastic action. I went away for the weekend leaving him with DH and when I came back he was on bottles. Now that may not work for you, but I found that being away from him meant that I didn't have to feel guilty with every squawk and I couldn't rush in and rescue either him or DH. Also being away meant that he couldn't see or smell me and when he was hungry he had to have his milk from the bottle. DH was very supportive. hth, though I'm sure others will have more suggestions. Remembering back and thinking of you.

Original poster
mexicanmum · 04/12/2004 13:04

Thanks fr the quick reply. I am really frightened that my baby will starve. DH is supportive but he is not very patient.

OP posts:
OLittleYurtofBethlehem · 04/12/2004 13:56

tbh if this was me i would go away for the weekend like Marselectionboxlady - and i would present her with food - a little at first (which is what im currently doing with dd 6months) and basically expect her to eat it - if she doesnt eat she wont starve - honest! she will be hungry though which is a good thing as when she is next offered food she will be more tempted. try not to top her up with milk cos you feel sorry for her - Long term she needs to eat food and drink milk and other liquids - sorry if that sounds harsh but that is what i would do
HTH

OLittleYurtofBethlehem · 04/12/2004 13:57

just read your post again- milk for naps and during the night is another issue - try searching the Mumsnet sleep archives cos that is a really common problem!

TheHollyAndTheTwiglett · 04/12/2004 13:59

your baby is more likely to be starving for the right vitamins and iron if you don't get her to accept food and she only drinks breastmilk ... you are not doing her any favours

go away for a day / the weekend Marslady is right

Go to your GP and ask to be referred for help if you find it too difficult

MarsselectionboxLady · 04/12/2004 14:04

I worried that my DS1 would starve as DH was not that patient, but tbh it was a good thing for both of them. It's hard not to offer milk when you know that your baby is hungry, but like ohlittleyurt... says, you mustn't offer milk. Try offering from frais and purees again. Then if this is successful move back to lumpy/textured foods. You need to be strong and remember that this is for her own good and that she needs the vitamins/minerals and iron that bf alone can't provide anymore. You can do it honey. If it doesn't work then do go to your GP for help. (avoid your HV like the plague unless she is wonderful)

Original poster
mexicanmum · 04/12/2004 14:38

Thanks for the replies so far. I forgot to mention that my baby is almost 11 months old and at onepoint she would take 3 meals a day but this changed when she became 6 months old, since then I have been having this solids refusal. My HV, GP and Peaditrician say that I have to persevere but it's now over 4 months of that, how long more should I wait?? I should try being away for a day from her cause so many times I have tried to refuse the breast but I am too weak and I always give in. It will break my heart to know that my baby will be crying for her food but like one of you said I am not doing her any favours with milk only.

OP posts:
MarsselectionboxLady · 04/12/2004 14:41

when you do go away mexicanmum know that we are all stood beside you holding your hands and hugging you.

tiktok · 04/12/2004 18:28

mexicanmum, am I missing something here? Why do you need to stop bf?
Would cutting down not be an option?
If she is gaining weight and healthy, then why the pressure to give solids to a baby who is clearly very unhappy with them? Would it be an option to leave it for a week so she forgets she hates them, and just try her with small amounts of finger foods on her tray, for her to pick and choose?
Sorry if I only have half the story, but I have read the messages and can't see the rush....

TracyK · 04/12/2004 18:55

I agree - offer her petit filous - i defy any baby not to love the sweet creamy taste of it.mmmm
or if its the spoon she hates - just dip your finger in it - or her fingers and stand well back

SenoraPostrophe · 04/12/2004 19:11

I have a similar thing with ds.

He will feed, but it's hard work because he knows he would prefer a breast feed. I do give 3 meals a day (although sometimes they are small meals) then wait 10 mins or so, then b/f. Sometimes he completely refuses, but then I wait a while and try again (sometimes with something different). He's not very good at all with finger foods, and doesn't like lumpy food either - it has to be really smooth. Has never taken a bottle.

He never ever refuses petit filous though.

Have you tried different recipes/brands? Also adding a bit of expressed bm to food?

As for the night feeds - ds used to do that too. I figured that if I could stop those he'd be hungrier in the day and eat better. he was and he did. I left ds to cry in the end, but if my dh wasn't such a useless git without sleep I'd have made him get up and rock him back to sleep for a few nights (I can't rock him to sleep but other people can).

emkana · 04/12/2004 20:40

My dd2 ate practically no solid food, apart from tiny bits of finger food, until she was nearly 13 months old. She is and was healthy and thriving and now eating well at nearly 16 months, if still not big amounts - still breastfeeding quite a bit.
It's not true that with breastmilk only she will have a deficiency in vitamins or iron. Breastmilk does provide vitamins and iron - look at your baby, if she's happy and thriving, then it's fine.
It's not uncommon for breastfed babies to refuse solids for quite a while. As others have said, leave it for a while, just put some finger foods out, but don't force it.
And I could never ever go away for a weekend if I knew that my baby was still in such need for my milk. Unless you really have to stop because of work reasons, I'd take it slowly if I was you.
Things will change in time, when she's ready. There's no need to panic.

emkana · 04/12/2004 20:41

Forgot to add:
Dd2 has never ever let me feed her with a spoon. She's only happy now that she can use the spoon or a little for herself.
Have you tried letting her play around with a spoon and a petit filou?

Original poster
mexicanmum · 04/12/2004 22:59

wow! thanks for all the replies. To be honest I feel a lot of pressure from people to stop breastfeeding.I would love to continue breastfeeding but I want to go back to work in January. She used to eat petit filous and cheese strips but now she refuses everything. It's many months now. Cutting down on breastfeeds? well, I have done so but trouble is that she catches up at nightime. Today during the day I delayed the breastfeeding and she cried outloud non-stop for 30 mins before we gave in. We tried offering solids during that time but that upset her even more. In the end it only took a few mins on the breast and she was quiet and happy again. I felt really guilty afterwards cause I made her cry unnecesarily. In general she is very happy baby, loves mummy and daddy but nobody else. I'll try again with fingerfoods and let her play with the spoon with some food. Is she OK with breastmilk only?

OP posts:
emkana · 04/12/2004 23:06

Yes she is, she really is

I would say that the most important thing is that you don't yourself and her under pressure anymore. Offer food for her to play with, but don't try to make her eat anymore - she's probably totally fed up with it by now, take a step back from it and I'm sure in time she'll come round to the idea! In the end every baby/child does! Until then breastmilk will be fine.

moondog · 04/12/2004 23:10

I went back to work when dd was 7 months. I went to the nursery for a month to feed her at lunchtime (was lucky to work so near) but the very nice owner (former mw) could see that it was doing me in (not the b/feeding in particular but just the stress of everything) so told me she thought she'd be ok without a b/feed in the day. To my amazement she was!
I carried on working and breastfeeding happily until she was 21/2.
I'm sure she'll be fine by January!!!

tiktok · 04/12/2004 23:48

mexicanmum - ignore the pressure from others. Why make your baby so unhappy when you have what nourishes her and comforts her so handy ?

At the moment, she is not taking solids, and sometimes only getting food after crying for a long time for it. She doesn't understand why you are holding out on her!

Give both yourselves a break and breastfeed her without worrying about stopping just yet. When things are calm, try her with solids (finger foods) alongside whatever bf she wants.

mummylove · 04/12/2004 23:51

hello mexicanmum - i experienced the same thing as you, my dd would not eat solids until i stopped breastfeeding at 8 months. i wish my hv made it clear to me to make sure she took ebm from a bottle at the beginning as everything other than boob was alien to her and i guess thats why she developed a reluctance to bottles and solids.
the only advice i can give you is stick in there and be tough! i guess she feeds from you about 4 times a day? well knock out the second one and refuse to give breast, if she cried offer formula (your breasts need to adjust so dont express)if your breasts adjust over the next four days drop the next (in my case i had to wait over a week) after dropping the second feed, my boobs speeded up and i dropped thenext two faster. The rule is dont give in!!! I would not beleive it when people said "she will eat if hungry, she wont starve" its hard to be tough but they really wont starve, babies as you know can be very stubborn but they really cant surive on next to nothing, offer the solids and bottles and eventually it will kick in. Goodluck, I remeber thinking after all of it that it was not actually as bad as I expected.

mummylove · 04/12/2004 23:53

sorry that was supposed to read "they really CAN survive on next to nothing"

moondog · 05/12/2004 13:40

God mummylove, the way you put it sounds so bloody mean! I agree with tiktok.

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