Anxiety around stopping pumping

[Ellebel]

I have a 17 week old baby who I was sadly never able to breast feed. We tried different lactation consultants, tongue tie snip, he just never properly latched on. I had no problems with supply so endlessly pumped. For the first three months he received about 80% breast milk/ 20% formula via bottle. He then began to get increasingly fussy with feeding, so lots of breast milk ended up being wasted and I would lean increasingly towards formula as was less bothered about that being left and wasted.

I am now in a position where my supply has all but dried up and I need to decide whether to commit to endless pumping again to bring it back, or throw in the towel and commit to full formula feeding.

I am riddled with sadness that breastfeeding never worked as I so desperately wanted it to, and am jealous of the new mums I am surrounded by who have taken to it so well, and with guilt at the idea of my baby no longer receiving any breast milk- which everywhere you read is SO important for so many different reasons. But am also daunted at going back to endless pumping.

Any encouragement, advice much appreciated. Thanks

I completely get what a hard decision you have to make. I had all the same as yours except my supply didn't dry up and I am eternally grateful for that and my son is nearly a year and exclusive BM. I am completely anxious about stopping after a year which feels ridiculous but I think it goes with the trauma of not being able to feed the way we planned. I completely relate to the feelings about other new mums taking to it so easily 😞

I would really encourage you to think of your mental health and how your bub is going to get more active etc so finding time to pump especially to get supply up at this stage is hardcore. If you do want to get supply up, the best method is power pumping. I did it around the same time and my supply got even bigger. 20 mins pumping, 10 mins break, 10 pumping and repeat at least once a day... it's a LOT though.

Hi OP just wanted to give you another angle with the feeding as this sounds just like my DS. The increased fussing in feeding was because the tongue tie has reattached! It might be worth checking this

in regards to feeding do what is right for you. If you stop pumping yes you’ll probably feel guilty but you need to protect your mental health too. I say this as I stopped BF and moved to formula just last week and have only just stopped crying about it!

This was me three years ago just before covid hit and the added stress of that made m pack it in. I was sad for a couple of weeks but soon felt better when it meant DD was feeding on quite a nice schedule and sleeping through the night.

I have just finished breastfeeding my second baby who is nearly a year. So maybe it didn't work for you the way you had hoped this time but if you have anymore children, it may work for you then 😊

Hiya, this happened to me with my first. I stopped pumping around 20 weeks (my story is a little like yours)

I had back and forth with the HV about trying to restablish a supply, but she said I would have to start pumping throughout the night (not sure if this was good advice) but I was exhausted and overwhelmed and decided to just pump daily / every other day until my supply dried up. At the time it felt like the end of the world and I cried a lot. I know how hard the decision feels.

truthfully I had some therapy the next year to help me with how much breastfeeding at damaged me mentally (my baby just couldn’t suck the milk out without making me bleed and MIL etc were all over it making me feel terrible etc) I have finally made some peace with stopping when I did. However like I say I know how hard it is.

I have no advice really on whether you should carry on or stop, but wanted to give a handhold and say, whatever you choose is fine. I bought a book about breastfeeding trauma that helped me too.

If the idea of not having to pump again fills you with a wonderful sense of relief, then it’s the right thing to do.

Your baby has had the benefit of breast milk for a good period of time and will be absolutely fine on formula.

Your baby will also benefit from having a mum who isn’t exhausted and stressed.

And you deserve to enjoy this stage with your baby without the constant stress of countdown to the next pumping session. You’ve put in a great effort, give yourself a break now.

Thank you all do much for your advice and support.