Cold turkey at 15 months

[Breastfeduptotheeyeballs]

We successfully night weaned our 15 month old at various points. Always lapsing back for a few days when teething or if he had a fever. I feel cruel denying him it when he's poorly and it comforts him. We then get back on track and cut the night feeds again. Up until now I've been happy breastfeeding in the day when I've reclaimed my nights to myself.

But recently I'm struggling with the decision to night wean completely and not look back- I don't know how I'd cope comforting him when he's sick without it. I know this is daft as it's got to end sometime and he'll still get sick as he gets older!

And then some days I'm so fed up that I want to stop breastfeeding altogether. I feel so emotional thinking about it. I don't want to stop as I cherish the bond but I feel like it's affecting how he eats. His eating is terrible compared to other children his age who have weaned off the breast. They eat a variety of foods whereas my son is so damn fussy and seems to exist on barely anything at all- he's getting by on the breastmilk. Seeing him constantly throw food away is stressing me out so much. When he throws all his food away and claws at my top for milk it makes me seethe.

Any thoughts?

There's a lot there.

The only question you need to answer here is do YOU want to carry on breastfeeding.

If you do, carry on in whatever way works for you and your child. They will naturally wean at some point.

If you don't, there are loads of ways to approach weaning an older child. I think Emma Pickett did an online session on her Instagram recently about it. Your child no longer needs the milk. So it's fine if they don't have any. At the same time it's not hurting them to have it.

All toddlers around that age go through a massive fussy eating phase. Regardless of how they were weaned.

I know, I feel like my emotions around this are all over the place. I always said I'd continue breastfeeding for as long as we're both happy and let him wean naturally. But I'm clearly not happy. I can't work out if it's a phase or if I would be happy if we night weaned and stuck to it.

I just don't know what to do for the best. In the moment I want to say "this is the last time" but I keep feeding because I don't want it to end.

He's always been a poor eater and will discard food and pull at my top for breastmilk instead. Whenever I've distracted him because I simply don't want to or it's not convenient, he goes on to eat whatever food is on offer.

Perhaps your first step then is to night wean totally and stick to it.

Maybe then try to reduce to morning and bedtime feeds. Wearing less accessible clothing can really help with that.

That might be enough to help you make a choice either way.

There's a book called bye bye mummy's milk (I think) about weaning older children. Might be a bit old for 15 months but could help you to decide what feels right.

I'd planned to feed my youngest to at least 2 but she naturally weaned at 17 months (broke my heart)

He's currently grabbing my top and screaming at the top of his lungs after having spat all his dinner out.

If you want to, feed him.

If you don't move away from the table and Chuck the TV on to distract him.

Emma picket's Q&A might be really useful. I didn't watch it though I rate a lot of her other stuff.

Perhaps your first step then is to night wean totally and stick to it.

Maybe then try to reduce to morning and bedtime feeds. Wearing less accessible clothing can really help with that.

I think I'll have to. I've found it hard dropping the last 5am feed (he goes back to sleep after til 7) my husband will have to push through settling him.

The thought of getting through a vomiting bug or fever without breastfeeding gives me a panic attack! 😅

Or keep that 5am feed if it works for you but don't offer a breakfast feed.

Does it work for me? Is a valid question here.

I remember worrying about illness too, it was actually ok. Calpol is a great invention lol.

I actively weaned my eldest at 1 but he had a dummy which helped with the comfort element.

Mine does have a dummy. I think I'm over complicating things and getting in a tizz.

We'll sort the night weaning for good and then gradually tackle the rest in the coming months.

Sounds like a plan. It's fine to use the dummy to help with this if you need as well.

You got this.

Thank you!

It starts tonight- he's driving me mad 😅