DD bursting into floods of tears when I say no to feeding

[Tapster]

DD 15 months bursting into tears today when I tried to cut her feeds down. I am trying to wean her again off BM at 15 months for lots of reasons (medical (her and me) and personal). She has feeding 5-7 times a day (none at night) at the moment and hardly eating solids (one of the problems). This is not atypical so I want to cut her down to 3 feeds next week and then cut one feed out each week after. She is in floods of tears when I say no, I try to distract but how can I distract her for 5 hours? Full blown screaming and tears today when I said no several times and finally relented.

DH has been away for 8 days and trying to wean her on my own seems way too hard. I have no real support normally during the day. Cold turkey weaning seems tempting just to get the tears over with quickly.

There seems to be little advice on how to wean after 12 months. DD doesn't seem to like cows milk in cereal or in a cup - been trying for the last 3 months to get her used to the taste.

I feel for you - I had to cut out DDs nighttime feeds because I'm pregnant and knackered. I moved them in ten minute increments every three nights - took ages but she goes 7pm till 5:40 am every night now (and mostly sleeps through to that time - I'm trying to get her to 7am eventually). If she is feeding 5-7 times a day I'm assuming she's not having very much at each feed? Can you try making some of the feeds much bigger (ie go to bed and lie down with her and let her feed for as long as it takes. Encourage her to go back on when she's done so she really gets full)?

Alternatively, perhaps warmed cows milk, or you can try milkshakes (banana is good if she likes banana). We now all sit at the table for an afternoon drink - I have tea, she has milk. The routine seems to help.

It does get easier, but honestly ten minute delays are easier to cope with than cutting out entirely - eventually one feedtime leads into another and that's a feed dropped without fuss.

There is, you are absolutely right, no good information out there on weaning after 12 months. But I'm sure you'll get there.

oh there is - a lovely book from La Leche League called "How Weaning Happens". It has advice on weaning at any age (they do encourage you to think about continuing, but also give suggestions for the most gentle way of weaning depending on the age of your child)

Would it be worth feeding her but not for veyr long so she gets the comfort and cuddles thing but not the milk? This is how I weaned DD1 off her BM, I would latche her on and after a minute or so distract her with something else but carry on cuddling for a few minutes untilk she wanders off. She was only just over a year old when I started this though (Was pregnant and in pain!) but now a year later she still comes for short cuddles at the same time of day as her feeds were!

I will have a look at the LLL book. Bit miffed when I talked the NCT BF counsellor who just spent most of the time persuading me to continue rather than giving me advice on how to stop. Nothing wrong with extended BFing but decided its not for me.

So far today only refused her twice and so she has only had 2 feeds. DH back from his hols this afternoon so it will be up to him to distract her until 6.45pm!

Cold milk seemed to work better than warm this morning but DD sometimes likes the novelty factor!

Does she ask for milk a lot ? I have heard of other mothers using the 'don't offer, don't refuse' method of weaning with older children alongside distraction.

Might be worth a try ?

yes she asks for milk, I would not offer it to her otherwise! She points at my boobs and I say water/cracker or snacker and she shakes her head and points at my boob . She only had 3 feeds yesterday but I'm feeling awful today so I gave in mid morning. I think I may be pregnant so maybe she will self wean - I see a pig flying...

can you think of it a bit like smoking. i.e. when you first give up smoking you stop doing the things that instantly prompt you to light up (going for a drink, sitting down with a cup of coffee etc. ) Perhaps if you changed the routine slightly so the prompts weren't there she wouldn't ask for it

Yes I'm now telling her she can only feed in the sofa in her room so she realises that this will interrupt what she is doing and hopefully she will start to stop asking for it when we are out too. Currently I'm a bit too exhausted to try too much distraction. I now have metallic taste in mouth. My DH only has to look at me and I get pregnant I fear