Baby refuses to feed properly

[TheBerry]

My baby goes through periods of not wanting to feed.

This last week has been particularly bad. He's 13 weeks old and exclusively breastfed and for the last week it's been impossible to make him feed for more than five minutes every three hours - and when he does feed he's on and off the breast constantly.

He's having wet nappies so I don't think he's dehydrated but he definitely isn't getting enough calories. I do weigh him and he's gaining weight but slowly (gradually dropping down the centiles).

Last week, he fed amazingly - good half hour feeds every three hours without coming off and on the breast, and he gained 200g that week which is great for him.

More often than not, though, it's a battle to get him to feed. He never really gives hunger cues and just never seems hungry. He won't take it from a bottle, either - he's just not interested.

The health visitor etc isn't worried because he's alert and hitting developmental milestones.

I guess I'm just worried that there's something wrong - like, maybe he's hungry but can't eat because of tummy pain or something (his latch is awful and he does get painful wind). Or maybe this lack of appetite is just something that some babies go through periodically 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anybody with similar experience?

My second was a 5 minute feeder which came as a shock as the first had tongue tie and would feed for hours.

If he's gaining weight and has wet nappies he is getting enough.

If you are worried though, you could try offering every 2 hours in the day instead of 3. I did this when DC2's weight gain started slowing at around the same age. You could try breast compressions too

@TheBerry how did you get on with this? Going through something similar!

My son was like this and we identified a tongue tie just before he was 6 months.

Hi @Sunnydays44 I came here looking for how they got on too. I have the saaaaame issue. A baby who is reluctant to feed (during the day I think he is distracted so is making up for it at night). It's my second and my first was a nightmare to feed too. Turns out my second is also very particular and won't nurse for comfort etc. I'm just rolling with it this time. I can't force feed them so just got to offer and accept if they are done they are done. They've been a quick feeder since birth though (10 mins tops) and have been gaining weight consistently. I worry a lot about it though and it's kind of ruining my BF'ing experience but it's not forever.

How long have you been having this issue for?

@Louise0410 gosh me too! My first was a horrific feeder and flat out refused to feed during the day for 6 months. We then got him on to omeprazole and within a week was a different baby. We then found out he was allergic (anaphylactic) to a number of things and it all kind of added up. I will add that he also vomited huge amounts multiple times a day. I ended up bfing him for 2 years after a horror first 6 months.

This time round I genuinely have no idea what’s going on. She is now 14 weeks and I’d say over the past 6 weeks has refused on and off for reasons I can’t work out. I’ve tried her on omeprazole for a month and it’s made absolutely no difference (in fact maybe worse?) so I don’t think it’s reflux this time round, but god I wish I knew what was going on! I’m going to wean her off the omeprazole this week and hope it’s just a fussy phase. She is gaining weight but not loads which stresses me out. I’ve tried pumping into a bottle but she’s just not interested.

I absolutely agree that this time is different because I have no choice but to just plough on. My 2 year old is a busy boy and I can’t totally neglect him and force my baby to feed so like you say, we’re rolling with it and praying to the boob gods that it’s a phase that resolves with time.

I truly hope things improve for you! It is just so stressful. Please let me know how you get on!

@Sunnydays44 my firstborn was the same. He finally started feeding better once we got his reflux under control and realised he was allergic to dairy. He was so unsettled though. Cried all the time etc so it was clear he was uncomfortable. I too breastfed him until just before his second birthday as once he hit around 9 months he loved it.

This time I can't work it out either. The doc did prescribe us omeprazole in case of silent reflux but I don't think it's that at all (and I'm worried about it making it worse!) so we haven't bothered with it. He's a much happier baby and doesn't seem uncomfortable. I figure he is just very particular about what amount of milk he wants and needs and that's it. He's been tracking the 75th centile since birth despite all of this so hopefully next month he will be the same and I'll just carry on. I find it a lot easier to feed him lying down at home so I'm just accepting I spend a bit more time at home these days and once he is on solids I'll have a little more freedom.

I'm glad I stumbled across your post because it means we are not alone with this tricky and unusual situation.

@Sunnydays44 he’s 8.5 months now and doing great 🙂 I think I was worrying too much.

I realised eventually that he will only feed for long periods when he’s sleepy. Basically, he just wants to feed to sleep. He’s still like that now! However, he seems to get enough either way. I was so worried about him dropping weight centiles, but once he got to the 25th centile he just stayed there - I think that’s where he was meant to be.

We tried him on omeprazole for reflux and infacol for digestive problems, and had his tongue tie cut, but it wasn’t anything like that causing the problem as it turned out. He DID get diagnosed with neonatal rhinitis, so it was sometimes hard for him to feed with a blocked nose.

Apparently some babies are just like this, and only want to feed to sleep. He’s fine now he’s on his solids, and seems to be getting enough milk too. I’m sure your baby will be ok, whatever is causing it… they’re just weirdos when they’re very small!

@TheBerry just want to say your reply has really helped me too. It's so perplexing when you have a baby who is reluctant to feed especially when you see so many situations where people can't get their baby off the boob!

I can often get my son to have a decent feed down for a nap if we are home and away from distractions so I'll just keep going and hope that like your situation it improves with time. Also good to know the omeprazole was also not the solution in your case. I've been umming and ahhing about starting it but he doesn't seem to have silent reflux so I don't want to unnecessarily medicate.