15 day old baby - exclusively breastfed but want to introduce night time formula

[pamelat]

Hello,

I have a hungry little baby who is gaining weight well. The midwife says that she is just a "sucky" baby and feeds mainly for comfort, even on non-growth spurt days she can feed for up to 3 hours and still get grouchy when she stops.

I have breasfed her exclusively on demand but am now at breaking point emotionally, am just so tired.

Resorted to taking her in to my bed last night from 4 until 7am, I managed to sleep and she slept/fed/slept/fed - what worried me was that I dont know how much of it she fed for, should it not have woken me? Followed the co sleeping safetey guidelines but not sure that I could live with myself if anything happened.

As an alternative, and having spoken to other mums, we were thinking of giving her a bottle of formula at her 11/midnight feed. However, we tried this last night and she drank 20ml (gulped it down) but refused the rest of the bottle, then crying for me and feeding for a solid hour.

She didnt seem to have a problem sucking from the bottle, more that it wasnt what she wanted .. ?

Any ideas, any other babies not liking formula?

Am going to start expressing but with the amount that she drinks, I didnt want to over stimulate my milk production (which already very high .. !)

Thanks

PS) any magical age when the duration of feeds get shorter .. ?! They average an hour but like I say can be 3 hours, unless I distract her ... ?

how old is your lo?. Think things usually stablise aroun 14 weeks or so. When they can prop themselves up, roll and grab then they seem to want to sleep do something and feed, rather than feed and doze all day which is what my lo did until he was around 3 months

also think that i got really stressed by everybody telling me that i needed a break that it must be so tiring and then i should do something to stop him feeding so much. Think i would have been happier if i'd have known that by 3 months it would all have settled down by itself.

pamelat, totally understand about the 'breaking point emotionally' and the tiredness.....

can you talk to someone about how you feel? Do you have a partner who can help with'stuff'?

Your baby is doing so well, and your bf is going well. She is berhaving normally and showing you by her love of being close to you that you are important to her....just 2 weeks ago she was inside you, and her preference for your breasts shows how familiar your taste, your touch, your voice and your nearness are to her. No wonder she objected to the bottle....

Some babies will tolerate a bottle, but others are already very good at communicating what they really want. Seems to me that expressing would be more hassle for you. Sleeping with your baby is what mothers have done throughout history and continue to do so, as it is warm, loving and makes feeding easier. If you are following the guidelines, you do not need to fear that she is at any more risk than if she was in a cot.

L...o...n...g feeds are normal, and typically, the baby is not feeding for that length of time, or not throughout. Babies like to doze at the breast and suck on and off for a long time. This is what they are designed to do They then object to being separated, and objecting to it is what they are designed to do, too

You can build up your milk supply, and build up your relationship with your baby, nurturing her trust in you and her love for you, by going along with this - but of course you need someone caring for you, as well.

Sounds like you are doing brilliantly. This stage doesn't last, it will get easier. I think that breast feeding is a commitment. It is time consuming at first. Do you have help and support? You need someone to cook for you and do the housework and let you nap and just lounge around breast feeding and mumsnetting and nothing much else all day.

I have found co-sleeping really helps me to get more rest though I am totally comfortable with that.

Hello Pam, I found after 7 weeks ish they got shorter and around 3 months really settle down. Current situation is perfectly normal. dd used to feed from me whilst asleep sometimes without me knowing so it's not unusual - babies are very clever at getting what they need
You sound like you are doing a fantastic job and your dd is very happy with her breastmilk. Can't blame her for preferring it to formula!

However, you do need some help so that you can just sleep and feed as much as possible.
Don't worry about anything else - housework especially!
If you really want to express and feel that your supply is well enough established (usually not recommended until after 6 weeks but you know your boobs best!) then do so but not necessarily regularly. Even if dh/dp gives her a couple of feeds so you have a good nap, you will feel more refreshed and ready to carry on.
Good luck and again, you are doing really well.

Hi thanks all,\ just seen health visitor and feel more positive, going try stick at just breast feeding for another 2 weeks as she says it should settle down

she has put on 7 oz in 5 days!

health visitor recommed herbal drops called colocynthus as says she could be confusing pain of wind for being hungry, apparently these drops are excellent .. ? Anyone heard of them, going to google them now

Thanks all, will stick at it

x

PS) husband v supportive but at work

Co sleeping and using a sling so that she is close to you, and can be latched on, but you can get on with things (ie go out, shop, do housework)whilst she is feeding is the way to go.

It does settle down, and then they get really quick with feeds leaving you missing sitting down with a nice book !

Second the suggestions to sleep with your baby at night and use a sling, these things make breastfeeding much easier IME.

If you can take it really easy during the day and maybe feed lying down some of the time this makes life easier too.

Be kind to yourself and dont worry about chores/housework etc. Feeding a tiny baby is very demanding in the first weeks and you need to go slow and take care of yourself.

That said, it does go so fast, so if you can do try and relax and enjoy the close time with your baby.
Even in a few months they are much less clingy and you might find you look back and really miss this intimate stage...

Just want to say my ds is the same age and going through really similar dilemmas.Glad its not j ust me! So nice to advice from other mums!

Message withdrawn

Hi Pamelat - I think our babies have been comparing notes as I know we posted similar stories a few days ago. I was at 'breaking point' last night too - thank goodness DH was helping. I keep thinking about trying formula but the nights are MUCH harder than the days so I try and catch up on some sleep during the day. Just wanted to say you're not alone!

Why do you want to introduce the formula feed? Do you believe it will help her settle for longer? IME it won't (I tried it!) so not worth it in the end.

If you don't want to, you don't have to breastfeed at all. If you do want to, its best to keep going for at least 6 weeks because then you may begin to notice some breaks between feeding. And it all gets a lot easier. Honestly, the difference between feeding continually (at 15 days old) and feeding once every 2-3 hours (at 6 weeks old) will feel like a merciful relief and you may begin to feel a bit more human.

If there is anyone, anyone at all you know who can take the baby out in a pram for an hour while you lie down/shower/make yourself something decent to eat, then please just ask them.

Thoughts are with you. I had big hungry non-sleepy babies and even now 7 and 4 years later I can still remember what its like. Shocking!