Dilemma

[Hope54321]

I was thinking of giving up BF soon when my child is 23 months. However, I’m feeling guilty and not sure if it’s the right thing to do.

My DS has several allergies to milk, eggs, nuts, sesame and some fruits. He also has severe eczema which is currently being managed with a strict skincare routine.

He won’t have alternative milk in a cup and will only have oat milk with his cereal. He also won’t have alternative yogurt. I find the flavoured ones give him a stomachache.

I would like to give up breastfeeding as he wakes at least 3-4 times a night to feed or just latch on and he could stay latched on for 2 hours! This is very uncomfortable for me and I struggle to sleep as the position is also very uncommon to sleep in.

Should I just soldier on until he self weans? I know giving up breastfeeding won’t necessarily mean more sleep.

*Uncomfortable not uncommon

You should wean when you feel ready to wean. That sounds like now. You have given him such an amazing start and actually your health (physical and mental) is genuinely really important, not just for you but for DS’s long term health.

Can you get help from a dietician to assist you with his diet - ask your gp or consultant allergy doc to refer you?

Have you looked into alternate sources of calcium? Chocolate oatley and forfeited bread eg tesco own 50/50 (soya free).

I would at least persevere with not telling him stay latched. It’s tricky at that age but saying something like the milk has all gone and now it’s time to sleep. That’s not to say you shouldn’t stop feeding. As a way to reduce or stop feeding to you have a partner who can cosleep with him.

Sorry I just assumed soya allergy too! Vegan horlicks is heavily fortified.

You have done an amazing job. Could you maybe look at cutting back if you aren't ready to fully stop? Maybe to just a morning and evening feed? And then just one of those? Or if you are ready you can absolutely stop now.

He is old enough to understand no milk at night because mummy needs sleep, although it will be hard at first. Lots of reassuring cuddles and a sports bra in bed to restrict access.. There's a book called something like 'milk when the sun shines' that you can read together with him which talks about night time being for sleep, and nursing only in the day.

It sounds like night time is the most problematic for you. Could you just wean the night feeds? I admit it wasn’t easy to do but I gradually managed to cut down the night feeds by holding/rocking my dd when she woke instead. Eventually she did wake up less, although she was a bit older so maybe she would have anyway.