Self-weaning & clingy 21M old

[MoreThanRubies]

My DD is 21 months and appears to be self weaning from BF. I’m happy with this, but she’s gone extra-clingy and emotional. Any thoughts?

We were down to two feeds - morning and evening. She’s been doing shorter and shorter feeds for a while now, and recently when I offer, she says no. I’m moving towards a “don’t offer, don’t refuse” approach and am happy to feed if she asks.

However, she’s been more emotional at transition times, like going in the car to go to nursery, or bedtime. She also keeps demanding I pick her up, and has had a couple of non-distractable tantrums, which is a new development.

I’m trying to give her extra cuddle time to make up for the lack of BF, but I’m also baffled because she’s taken the lead on stopping. If she’s upset about that, wouldn’t she keep going? I guess they might not be connected.

Any opinions on causes or things to help? Or is she just being a nearly-2-year-old?

I think you're both going to take a little time to adjust and it sounds as though you're taking a very sensible approach. She might not even realise that she's missing the closeness and comfort that she got from BFing.

If you do want some support, I'd give the LLL a call or one of the other BFing Helplines as they're likely to know a lot more than I do

@PritiPatelsMaker I think you’re right that she’s missing the closeness. After some discussion tonight we ended up having an extended cuddle in our breastfeeding position, with her cold little hands stroking my tummy, but no feeding (her choice)…and she’s gone to bed happy for the first time in days.

That sounds like a really good result @MoreThanRubies and I hope that there's some comfort that BFing is coming to amend on her terms

I think it’s the change. My eldest used to put his hands down my top on my breasts for ages after I’d weaned him. My second is yet to be weaned