6 week old baby, too late to breastfeed?

[Rosethorne66]

Hi everyone,
First time user and first time mum too.
I was hoping to get some advice and maybe some positive experiences from others.
I had a baby girl 6 weeks ago, all is well now however we were both admitted for longer than usual and were kept in for almost 6 nights when I had her. Labour was apparent longer than usual and I was told after giving into to epidural that forceps would be needed as well. The prolonged stay was due to the fact that had high heart rate and suspected infection (I believe this was due to constant checking by midwife to break waters😒). Anyway although i had skin to skin contact when she was born, I was fairly out of after and nurse fed baby bottle during the remaining night. I tried to breast feed the next morning however baby was not having it at all, nurses just basically said it takes time and said to use bottle if needed. Being a first time mum I had no idea this would have such a knock on effect and now regret this so much. I have since been combo feeding and expressing every three hours since i had her. I've got to the point where I'm just exhausted though. Also Each time I try to put baby on, she manages to suck once or twice and ends up in panic mode screaming/crying leading to both us upset and me giving bottle. I also think I have flat nipples which although I was told by health visitor its not "nipple feeding, it breastfeeding so shouldn't affect it" I do think it's not helping. Can anyone advice/give me hope that breastfeeding issues still possible? Thank you x

Fed is best, don't starve your baby and don't beat yourself over it if it ends up not working, the first few weeks are so hard. You're doing great !!

If you want to breastfeed its certainly possible. Keep offering and trying. Maybe have a day in bed with lots of skin to skin. The Kellymom website should have lots of advice and look at relactating.

If it's upsetting you both is it really worth it? Formula is a perfectly valid choice to make.

Keep trying. They did the best thing for your baby - I had a similar birth and hospital stay but no one suggested supplementing with formula and I ended up with a seriously ill baby because of this!

If you can get them to latch BFing direct is a lot easier than expressing as that's so much hassle. Nipple shields might help? If you can get to a BFing group they can help with latch or positioning.

Also don't worry about combi-feeding. I combi-fed for first year, initially because of low supply, then from preference as it's more convenient. I eventually settled at 3-4 BFs and 3-4 formula bottles per day.

I'd join a local bf support group who can help you with latching etc. Babies can get milk out of a bottle easier than from the boob and they need to learn how to latch and suck in the right way, same as you need to learn how to help them get in the right position etc and you might need to hand express a little to help them get started. That might be why baby is getting frustrated quickly. Going to a lactation consultant or bf support group will give you some tips on this and some hands on support. Also I'd ask and ask and ask about the different types of tongue tie to make sure that's not causing an issue for them latching on because it's easily missed.

I agree that fed is best and you need to find what works for you and baby, it sounds like you've had a tough start and you've done incredibly this past 6 weeks and baby is still getting all the goodness from everything you express anyways. Expressing and feeding is still breast feeding don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

You need nipple shields. Combine this with breast compressions and baby will think it’s a bottle!

If you are really still keen then I think you'd need in person support from a lactation consultant. Health visitors don't get much / any training so I would be cautious about their advice. It's also OK to decide it's too much to cope with though!

Ok so fed is the minimum a baby should be not the “best”.

OP you’re not looking to relactate as you’re combi feeding which you are producing milk, you’re looking to establish an effective latch, this is an easier task than relactating so you’re already on a good footing.

things you can try are expressing prior to latching to get a good flow so baby is not inducing let down (which takes practice and a hungry baby is not a patient baby), using a nipple shield (as advised above) to mimic the teat of a bottle, using breast compression during the feed so baby doesn’t have to work as hard and is able to practice drawing in your nipple whilst still getting a good milk flow.

You should have a la leche league group in your area and may (at only 6 weeks postpartum) be able to access the maternity unit’s breastfeeding worker. There are also usually breastfeeding support groups run in the community sometimes by health visitors, these are great for peer support.

Is your baby thriving OP?

You've had a rough time from which you sound like you've recovered well from.

Breastfeeding may be the ideal, but it's not everything. If you took all the pressure off, carried on bottle feeding and relaxed and enjoyed your baby, would you feel ok about that?

Please don't make yourself stressed or unhappy by putting too much emphasis on breast feeding.

Nipple shields helped massively when BFing my son. He was combi fed too. I also agree with expressing a bit then putting him on (with a shield).

I remember one of the midwives literally grabbing one of my boobs and trying to stuff it in his mouth not long after he was born and he was having none of it.

Try nipple shields. IMO flat nipples absolutely do affect breastfeeding, it's just that bit harder to get a good latch.
As she's used to a bottle, it might help to express some milk into the shield before the feed to motivate her.

Relactation is possible but you need skilled support, ideally from an IBCLC. Lots work privately, but infant feeding teams accessed via health visitors increasingly have IBCLCs or at least very experienced infant feeding experts on their teams. You definitely need support to make sure baby gets enough and also for you, because it's hard.

DD1 had a very similar start. We really struggled with feeding and by 3 weeks she was entirely bottle fed. I have flat nipples and was a B cup even when feeding.

DD2 was entirely different- normal delivery and exclusively breast fed until 6 months and stopped at 8 months. I think she was just better at it!

It's never too late.

As you're expressing it's not too late as the milk is there.

Go in person to a breastfeeding support group to get some help with positioning and attachment. Without seeing how you're feeding now we can't offer much help.

Basic info though is to think CHIN when latching

Choose a time when baby is just stirring. That's an early feeding cue. Don't wait for her to cry as it will be harder for both of you. Get comfy and be well supported.

Then to get baby in a good position,

C - close. Tummy to mummy and her body close to yours

H - head, supported but not restricted. She should be able to move her head to latch

I - in line, her body and head should be in line

N - line your nipple up with her nose so she has to take a big mouthful of breast.

Do go and get some in person support though

We had a similar start to you, and by 6 weeks my baby was barely breastfeeding and would scream at my nipple, to the point where we were both getting really upset.

I too have flat nipples, and found the mam nipple shields really helpful, together with breast compressions.

I would really recommend a lactation consultant. I really regret delaying seeing mine as long as I did. She tried using a tube to supplement the amount that was going in the shield, and gave me some great advice including taking her off is she was crying on the nipple. In the end we ended up having a complete break from feeding for a few days. When I started again I stayed home for a few days (mostly topless in bed) and just offered the breast constantly. Within a week or so she was breastfeeding for about half the feeds, and now six months on she just takes one bottle at night.

what pump do you have? My IBLC recommended a spectra double pump and to this day I think it’s what saved my breastfeeding journey. Pumping just for 15min was so much easier than the nearly 1h I was having to do with my ineffective single pump.

Good luck with it if you’d like to continue, but don’t beat yourself up if you don’t, you’re doing a wonderful job with your baby already.

I think the ship has sailed… once the little mite has a taste for formula there’s no going back x

This really isn’t true, many of us combi feed successfully

Thats not true. There's still a chance.

It won’t be the same bonding experience now, but with a specialist it’s very much possible

The bonding will still be there- no matter what anyone says, formula feeding can NEVER replicate the experience and huge benefits of breastfeeding. Keep going!

Get some face to face support, OP. It's absolutely possible - my first daughter wouldn't latch at all for at least six weeks and I ended up breastfeeding her for more than a year. It takes perseverance but can be very worth it if it's something you're passionate about. But a good lactation consultant will really help if you can afford one. Ours was worth her weight in gold.

In the meantime, keep trying her on breast and try manually expressing till you feel letdown and then latch her on so the milk is instantly available for her.

This is complete cobblers. Mine was 50% formula fed from five days to a year old and still BF to 3.5 years.

Bonding has nothing to do with BFing. You bond doing something you enjoy with your baby - for some that's BFing, for others it's bottle feeding or bathing or snuggling up reading a book together. I BF mine but bonded bottle feeding her as I enjoyed it far more.

What?