Hating Breastfeeding, triggering anxiety.

[ElmTree22]

Hey guys another early morning desperation post.
My Dd is 5 weeks old, had a big tongue tie released 2 weeks ago and since then her feeding has got worse and worse. One breast she tends to click on throughout the feed which obviously leads to loads of wind which sometimes, especially at night, I find impossible getting up, I can spend 45 minutes trying to get a burp up sometimes to no avail. This ultimately leads t a very uncomfortable and unhappy baby. She writhes and squirms about while screaming and really struggles with getting it out the other end. This obviously effects her sleep making it impossible to her her down so she'll only sleep on me when this happens, which at the moment is more often than not. And don't get me started on the other breast, she's absolutely destroying my nipple on that one, so no side is doing what it's meant to be!
I'm beginning to absolutely dread feeds, either she's going to kill my nipple or she's going to get a load of trapped wind that I'm going to have to deal with later on and ultimately is my guarantee of no sleep! I'm about ready to give up on breast feeding all together because it's beginning to really effect my anxiety, I'm constantly worried about the next feed and whether it will go well, I can spend almost 20 minutes trying to get the perfect latch but he just won't open her mouth widely for a deep latch, but if I try too long to get a good latch she gets really upset and then a good latch is impossible when she's crying!
Not only this but she also has reflux which is made worse by the wind. I've also noticed she's feeding for shorted periods because she's filling herself up with wind. It's just getting so unbearable to watch. I don't want to give up too soon if it's going to get better on it's own, but I'm weary of my mental health at the moment.
Any advice is appreciated, I've tried different latching techniques, different feeding positions, I'm going to breast feeding support grounds lead by LLL, I try and relatch each time she slips off or doesn't feel quite right but it just doesn't help!

Just stop. Give her a bottle. Don't feel guilty. She will be happy and so will you be. Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear 🤷‍♀️

Do you wind mid feed? That could help. Have you tried different positions for winding? I found lying baby across my arm with head at my elbow worked quite well. Have you tried massage ? There's a stomach massage I learnt at baby massage class that's good for indigestion you could probably Google. Keep working on latch it sounds like baby is not taking enough nipple in it's great you are getting support. Have you tried expressing. Could be a good way to see if baby accepts bottle.

Also if baby is uncomfortable laid down you could try slightly tilting cot/basket so head is slightly higher than feet.

Mine didn’t get a perfect latch until they were bigger and had bigger mouths. At a few weeks, we just muddled along.

DS2 was really windy until I gave up dairy
i was so sceptical about it and thought it was just a fad but it sorted him out within a few days and the wind improved massively

and silver cups for your nipples. They work wonders

What support can you access locally? You could call your health visitor or healthy families team. We have a breastfeeding support group with trained volunteers at the local sure start centre too. If you want to continue bf, there should be people who can help you. But don't put any pressure on yourself - bottle feeding might just be the way forward for you.