What (if anything) should I say to my friend re bottles with baby rice in?

[StripeyMamaSpanx]

Her nearly 4mo ds had been excl. bf since birth, despite an emergency cs after awful labour.

But she has (since Christmas I think) been giving bottles made up of ebm, boiled water, and baby rice (in her words, so thick it only just comes out of the teat) in an effort to get him sleeping through the night. He did already sleep from 12-7, but is now going from 10-8.30. Which to me is in-bloody-credible - dd didnt do that til she was two, and I didn't expect her to.

I know this is Not Recommended, and why - and so does she, she is passionate about bf and the benefits thereof. In her opinion she has made an informed choice, so what (if anything) can I say that won't cause huge offence and make her feel 'got at'?

Or am I being smug and bossy to even consider saying anything?

Other than saying something along the lines of "Oh, I didn't think they recommended that these days because of xxx", I don't think I would say any more.

If she knows the facts then there isn't anything you can say to change her mind anyway IMO.

But by suggesting it isn't recommended and she doesn't already know - then she ca ask further and get more information.

You're not being smug and bossy; you're thinking about your friend and her baby. And if you thought she didn't know the facts I'd be supporting you saying something about milk being more nutritious etc. But if she's made an informed choice then I don't suppose you can say much unless she asks you for advice.

If she asks, tell her what you think. Otherwise keep out of it - you know how touchy people are about things related to feeding los!

oh, and you are not smug or bossy, just caring. If you were bossy, you wouldn't have asked us!

if she is passionate about bf and understands it, then why is she doing this and thinking it is a good idea? it is a choking risk and can potentially damage a baby's kidneys.

sleeping 10 hours is a lot for such a young baby.. they need to be hydrated a bit more frequently. on the whole

i could not stand by and know a friend was doing this, i;d have to say something even at the risk of being seen as smug and bossy

I think she is making what she thinks is an informed choice, but is actually being skewed by the fact she's finding things really tough and also having a hard time with her dh.

I live miles away so can't go and see her and give her some tea/sympathy/a break from baby.

I'd have to mention the choking risk - whether it came up in conversation or not.

After that, I'd not mention it again if she continued.

I'd ask her about it TBH. Say 'I thought that wasn't recommended now because ........' and then let her talk about it. See if she can talk herself out of it.

Quite often when people start talking about something they do change their views. You would have at least tried.

Could she not give her troublesome DH some wine in a bottle and just stick to BM for the LO?

Hmm yes that could be the answer!

I will try to bring it up when I speak to her next... I just don't like to be seen to be 'preaching'.

I don't reckon she does know the benefits of EXCLUSIVE breastfeeding otherwise she might not have chosen to introduce solids so far before the recommended weaning age. If her baby is 14 weeks now and she's been giving him baby rice since christmas it means he's been on solids since 10 weeks. The reason that NOBODY, including the majority of really stupid health visitors advises weaning before 14 weeks as an absolute MINIMUM is because before this time an infant's gut is 'leaky'. This means that babies getting solids in the first three months after birth are much more vulnerable to diarrheoa, chest infections and general gut problems. At around 14 weeks the spaces in the gut wall begin to seal so that weaning becomes less risky - though it's better to wait if possible until the middle of the first year to introduce solids.

Honestly - you're friend is a bit of a twit. But its too late to undo that now.

That said - if I was you I'd find some tactful way of raising the concerns that other people have raised here with your friend..... as choking, obesity and kidney damage are still a bit of a risk.