Stopped breastfeeding and now I feel terrible...

[cheeseandbiscuitsplz]

My son is 7 weeks old, and like with my first son, I was EBF.
My eldest is almost 2, and I BF for 6 months. An experience I enjoyed, and had no problems with, I was very lucky,
Second son, I said throughout pregnancy if it works out and fits in with our family I'll BF and hope to do 6 months. Baby arrived, and I started to feed him myself, again like my first no problems. However, I haven't enjoyed the experience after week 2/3. I have found it to be a chore, and feel like I haven't got the time or energy. Cluster feeding throughout the night to then contend with a head strong 2 year old whilst my DH works 12 hour day and night shifts, I battled with myself for weeks whether to continue it stop BF.
Baby was colicky, and I felt he was a truly happy baby to BF.
Anyway, last week after a challenging 5 nights, and crippling anxiety through being exhausted (also felt like I hated my husband) I decided enough was enough, and I would make the selfish decision to stop BF. I started my son on a bottle of formula and have continued from then, I knew if I done it gradually I'd talk myself out of it. Immediately, I felt better for making the decision. Almost 5 days on, I still feel like I've made the right decision, our household is much happier and baby is truly more content, BUT he is only taking 2-3oz of milk every 2-3 hours and I'm now feeling awful that he is going to be loosing weight because of the decision I've made,
With my first, I was burnt out from feeding but at the time I didn't feel I deserved a break from being his doting mum (through breastfeeding) obviously now I know that isn't the case, but wow I now feel so terrible what if I've made a mistake, I had no real reason to stop other than to make things easier for me, not for my son 😳
I have the HV today but needed to get this off my chest and hoped somebody out there had experienced similar in regards to baby only taking small amounts of formula after stopping BF? He is content between feeds and has lots of wet nappies I have no concerns re hydration.

Long post TIA X

It's such a difficult decision. I'm currently EBF my 10 week old and have a 6 year old who was FF. Honestly I have no idea how anyone EBFs with a toddler! It was hard enough with a very sensible, independent 6 year old so I take my hat off to you for doing it for 7 weeks. Your hormones will be all over the place and although I've not experienced it yet, friends have said they felt really low at first when they stopped so maybe how you feel isn't really "you" but your hormones playing havoc Good luck with the HV - hopefully baby is gaining weight and that may change how you feel about your decision.

Just wanted to send some solidarity.

I breast fed my DC1 for 6 months and loved it, and now with DC2 I'm not enjoying it in the same way. I just don't have the time to sit and breast feed like last time, and I found it very tying. I'm combi feeding now - still breastfeed at night (mainly to save me going downstairs to get a bottle) - it's been the right decision for us.

It's much easier to revolve life around a first born than it is with the second. You were right in thinking if it works for everyone then fine but if it doesn't try something different. Was EBFing no.2 impacting on DC1 in anyway - I'm sure it was. If you are tired and have less energy as a result of feeding that will have a negative effect on DC1. You made a decision for all the right reasons and that is all anyone can do.

Look at the playgroups or nursery or whatever your 2 year old goes to.

Look at the children.

Can you tell which were breastfed and which were not?

Didn’t think so. Please stop beating yourself up. 💐

Op you are doing brilliantly. To bf for that long is amazing. This is the problem with bf , it has a community of over opinionated mothers who for whatever reason need to feel superior. Of course there are plenty "normal" mothers who bf too. Th extremists are the loud ones which is why we can only hear them. Society is drilling into mothers what we should or shouldn't do no matter what our life circumstances and it's wrong. I breast fed my last baby for 10 days. I was proud and sad I could t continue with pain issues. But never once felt it was selfish of me. Selfish would have being pushing on ignoring the rest of my family while been exhausted and snappy with them. Selfish would be putting me and my breastfeeding journey, ignoring all the difficulties it brings.
Please remember you have some amazing and well done for putting your happiness and your family's happiness first.
Your baby will sense a happy mammy and will feel. content. He will be fed and loved.
I'm just a few years on since I breastfed my last..she is 5 now and my god the happiest little girl. Everyone says it, everywhere we go. We have a very happy home where all the kids feel
Very comfortable to bring their friends over which has made us all so close we all
Have a great bond and are one of those houses with our door wide open and everyone always pops by. Stopping breastfeeding at 10 days was the best thing I did even though I cried due to hormones and felt bad for few days. Once I was thinking clear again, I realised once we live our own life's and not by societies expectations, life becomes your own again and happiness will be all that matters and remember you put yourself and baby and family first..nothing selfish with that xxxx

I continued pumping for almost a year after breastfeeding as sort of 'Best of both worlds'.Perhaps look I to that?

You've done well to get as far as you did. Your perfectly reasonable decision was not 'selfish' at all, it seems like it was the right decision for the family and for yourself (quite a critical part of the family!!). The likeliest outcome is that he will adjust to the bottle, if he seems content and is wetting nappies I wouldn't worry too much. You can try different bottles and different formulas if you are concerned. Is there a clinic nearby you can get baby weighed to keep an eye on his weight if you are worried about that?

Thank you everyone for your responses. It's nice to read and remember I'm not the only one in this position.
Baby has gained weight and continues to be following the 'line' on his growth chart. Health vision was supportive, which has certainly helped me to feel validated perhaps, how terrible that I feel I needed approval. She did however repeatedly tell me I have PND and need counselling... since coming away from the appointment , yelling feel better to have off loaded but a little annoyed that she kept inferring I wasn't bonding with baby...

Anyway, he gets weighed Monday. Thank you all for responding, I forgot how helpful this forum can be xx

So sad you had to go through this. BF mothers need practical and emotional support.

Well done for doing 7 weeks. It is hard work without a toddler to contend with. Whatever differences there may be between cohorts they are small and the most important thing is for everyone to be happy. The first few days and weeks are the most critical anyway and you got those well and truly covered.