Feeding guilt- bare with me

[JulyDreams]

Sorry if this comes across ridiculous. I will try and explain.

I had my child, DD 10 weeks ago. She has been EBF since day one. I love the time together we have and she loves being breast fed so much to a point she is so happy she moans when she feeds, it's so cute! I know she feels secure as well.

I have tried her with bottles and expressing my own milk and she takes to the bottles as well as me really well. I only give her a bottle probably at least a a few times a week when I need to.

The issue is I am actually wanting to introduce some formula for her during the day. At least when I am out and about with her, I find I will feed her from me and then she will want feeding again an hour later and I'm then worried she hast been 'full enough' from me? And I have to then panic to sit and feed her somewhere. When I'm alone I get quite anxious with this. I also am worried a bit about her weight- I am told she is gaining well but she is still quite a petite little thing?!

I find even when I express into bottles for her (which I would prefer to do) I worry about doing that as I can get quite empty and then not fill up for an hour or so. So I worry encase I need to quickly feed my DD- especially when out and about.
I do feel it would be nice for us to have that balance now and flexibility.

Am I being silly thinking this? Is it ok to introduce formula as well as breastfeed her from me directly? Does DD still get the benefits for EBF such as a lot of the health benefits and reducing the risk of SIDS. I would always breastfeed her at night. Apologies if this sounds ridiculous but there is always this added pressure to make sure babies are breast fed only to be fully protected.

Hopefully bump?

Hello! a few things spring to mind:

Firstly, congratulations on BF for 10 weeks, that’s a great achievement. If you decide to supplement with formula, that’s perfectly fine. Your DD will still benefit from your milk.

If she’s gaining weight, lots of wet nappies, and is generally happy, it sounds like there’s no need to worry about her getting enough.

How long does she feed for? Is the problem that she’s taking ages for each feed? Babies of that age can want to feed lots, I remember saying “surely she doesn’t need feeding again? I only fed her an hour ago!”. But remember that BF babies get many different things from milk - it’s food, drink, warmth, comfort. It might be that your DD is wanting you as comfort when you’re out and about, and there’s nothing wrong with that as long as it works for you. But ok to make changes if it’s not working. She might get faster and more efficient as she grows, meaning shorter feeds.

You say that you get anxious when she needs feeding when you’re out - is that because of the time it takes, or needing to find somewhere? Is there anything that would make that easier? Nice breastfeeding clothes (H&M is good), or seek advice on a sling that would enable you to feed on the move? A big scarf to add some privacy?

Don’t worry if you feel “empty”, you don’t need to wait to fill up. Boobs are magic, they can make milk as the baby feeds. Sure, some is ready and waiting, but your boobs will make more milk as the feed goes on, even if they feel soft and empty. The more you feed, the more milk you will make.

It sounds like you’re doing brilliantly

@MoreThanRubies thank you SO much for your response

@JulyDreams I was actually thinking what@MoreThanRubies said!

It actually sounds to me like you are doing an amazing job. If there are wet and dirty nappies and her weight is as expected, all of which sounds like it is then she HAS to be getting enough milk.

When babies are growing quickly they just love to cluster feed, or when they are tired, or just fancy a drink!

You sound to me like you are actually really positive about EBF and if you give it a few more weeks feeding out and about will feel much more normal. My confidence really grew in the end in feeding my dd out and about.

I’m sending you a

Thank you @MissHavershamReturns

The reason for the change up for me to include a bit of formula is because I have been suffering with postnatal anxiety quite bad and my GP have said (and as I have predicted) it is caused by my hormones and breastfeeding, all my hormones are all over the place at the moment. I just don't feel I am in a great head space at the moment. Also gives me a bit more flexibility if I need to leave her with someone for just a couple of hours. She is a very hungry baby!

Yes DD has a large amount of wet nappies a day and poos! She was last weighed early august and she was gaining weight but hasn't been weighed since so hopefully she is doing ok!

Hi @JulyDreams It might be worth chatting to a different GP if they seem to be pushing formula top ups as my understanding is that breastfeeding actually helps protect you against PND - you might find this really reassuring www.laleche.org.uk/breastfeeding-and-postnatal-depression/

You should absolutely do what feels right to you - you could always express milk if it’s feeling like a lot to do every feed yourself. I can completely relate to feeling like that as I did too. Ime I did get used to it and as she got bigger she would take expressed milk from a sippy cup at 6 months and I was able to have some time away when I needed it.

It really is so tiring having a lovely tiny human completely dependent on you - don’t forget to tell yourself how brilliantly you are doing.

Lots of nappies sound like it’s all going really well!

As previous posters have said, the evidence does show that exclusive breastfeeding is protective re anxiety & postnatal depression (and…ouch…) mixed feeding is not. It’s a really unwelcome fact. Kathleen Kendall Tackett did great research on this.

Mixed feeding doesn’t bring the same benefits for you or her unfortunately-I wish it wasn’t true!

it really does sound like things are going great so far & I do think they will get easier too!

A lot of people mix feed, it's fine if you want her to have the occasional formula bottle and have someone else do it so you get a rest.

She's had a good few months of EBF. If you're managing to feed I'd keep going, but nothing wrong with the occasional bottle.

@Nopeforme that’s really not evidence based advice.

I agree lots do it & I agree it’s not the end of the world but “nothing wrong with…” is unfortunately inaccurate.

marsha walker “Just one bottle won’t hurt-or will it” is an excellent explanation

I think it's up to the mother if she wants to introduce formula, didn't expect to be asked to cite evidence for saying nothing wrong, because there is nothing wrong with a mum deciding to introduce formula. It's up to her.

It sounds like you're doing an amazing job, and that breast feeding is well established.

Please don't worry about baby not getting enough. If there are plenty of wet and dirty nappies then you're all good. As a PP said, even when your breasts feel empty, they are still making milk.

In fact, that bursting full feeling indicates a bit of over supply and often disappears at around six weeks because your body has settled down into only providing what's needed.

I'd be wary of introducing formula, only because that can negatively affect your supply, which sounds like it would increase your anxiety. You are likely to find your body producing less milk as you add formula.

Expressing seems like it might be a good compromise for you. Given what you say about her feeding often, I'd try expressing immediately after every feed, gathering small amounts throughout the day rather than trying to do one big express. Also - make sure you do early morning when supply is often better.

I've built up a stash this way, so I always have milk ready if needed, and I don't have to express in a rush for the same day, if that makes sense. Label the bottles with the date you expressed and consider freezing some if needed.

Of course, having said all that, if you need to introduce formula for your mental health then you should.

While mixed feeding is not as beneficial as exclusive breast feeding, it's still ok. Loads of babies are mixed fed and they are fine. She will still get the benefit of some breast milk. Ultimately you need to make sure you are ok, so don't feel guilty if adding in bottles is what you need to do.

@Nopeforme breastfeeding mums frequently say there isn’t enough support and it is really important that the advice is evidence based. Op is saying she’s been told mixed feeding will reduce her PND and the research says that is unlikely to be the case.