FF first time round, wanting to try BF this time.

[thetruthaboutlovecomesat3am]

Hello everyone, in 2020 I welcomed my lovely daughter to this world who is now 22 months. We went through IVF and have a few more embryos in the freezer. Don't know if this is relevant but I had a very rare and aggressive type of cancer in 2017. I am still fertile and can conceive on my own but the type of chemo can leave some of my eggs malformed - so we did ICSI and had the embryos watched closely / tested and we are lucky enough to have 4 perfect grade embryos left that haven't been damaged.
DD was born via emergency section and was fine but I was incredibly poorly after and needed a stay in HDU for a while, I was too weak to breastfeed. I couldn't even hold her for days. By the time I could I had no milk and she settled on formula and she was exclusively FF throughout.

I know it's early to start thinking about this but I want to do as much research and prep as possible for impending DC2 (fingers crossed) he / she wants to stick in my womb.

I'd really like to try and breastfeed. DD didn't have any breast milk whatsoever so I have zero experience. I will have to have another section again due to risk factors but I'm guessing a planned one will be totally different to the first, did that effect anyone who wanted to bf? If and when the time comes I don't want to put too much pressure on myself but in the same breath from what im reading the first few weeks are really tough and you need to be quite strong willed to get through. The other thing worrying me is I have quite small boobs! But I guess millions of small busted women manage to breastfeed.

Does anyone have any advise or tips, any things I'd need to buy if the pregnancy goes to plan, any good reads?

Sorry for the backstory. Not sure if it's relevant. I was also on lots of strong meds after birth too but I can't remember if they said they were okay to bf on.

Thank you all!

Sorry to hear about the tough time you had with your first birth! Fingers crossed next time goes more smoothly and your health is on the up. Hoping others will be along with specific advice about BF after planned C section and/or cancer.

One thing I suggest is looking into expressing some colostrum before the birth. If you manage to get some, it’s useful to have in the freezer (and baby can have some even if they never breastfeed). Importantly, it also gives you a skill (hand expressing) that I found very helpful in the early days when my DD was struggling to latch. It meant we could squirt her full of syringes of colostrum when she needed perking up. However, do not fret if you don’t get any coming out before baby’s born, that’s very normal.

Boob size shouldn’t be a hindrance, I have smallish boobs and had a problem with oversupply (DD got sprayed in the face many times).

The experience varies hugely between women. The first two weeks were tough for me, then much easier, but it’s a real lottery. There’s a huge range between the blissful “he just latched and we went from there” people and “bleeding nipples misery” folks.

If you do give BF a go, feel empowered to ask for support, all the time, for anything you’re not sure of, however small. Your midwife, National breastfeeding helpline, NCT helpline, lactation consultants, mumsnet. I basically called someone with questions daily. Latch, feeding frequency, “is this mastitis?” - just ask, you’re not being a bother.

Good luck!

I am currently breastfeeding baby number 3, and have boiled my advice down to two (or 3) main points.

1. The first one is controversial, but this is my experience. With my first child I had a 'I'll see how it goes' approach and had moved fully onto formula by 3 months. With babies 2 and 3, my attitude was 'I will breastfeed'. Honestly, it can be so difficult to establish breastfeeding in the first 6 weeks that you need to be in it for the long game and acknowledge that you have to push past the hard times to come out the other side. Which leads me to...

1. Have a qualified lactation consultants number saved on your phone before you have the baby. Touch base with them beforehand and just have someone there to support you ASAP.

Breastfeeding is generally not easy to begin with and there often are problems that take a few weeksnto iron out and a decisive attitude is helpful in getting through that.

Just to add that I don't think that some women 'failed ' to bf because they didn't try hard enough. I do think that a certain resolve from the start is important and leads to better success than a 'try it and see' approach. I hope the fine distinction between the two is clear.

I also think that if its affecting your mentL or physical health then it's not worth it and formula is a perfectly safe alternative to breastmilk and is quite literally a life saver in many cases. Just so we're clear 😌

Hi OP,

I had an emergency CS and had no problems breastfeeding, so having another CS doesn't necessarily mean you'll have issues

I won't lie, it is tough going at the start, I remember feeling a bit overwhelmed that I was the only one that could feed my baby, and also delirious with tiredness. BUT, it was amazing at the same time, and if I have another baby one day I'll definitely try to BF again

It sounds like you've had quite a journey to welcome your daughter and how lovely that you're already starting to plan this in advance of welcoming a sibling.

A difficult labour like you had with your daughter can be really challenging and I'm sure you did the right thing formula feeding after everything you went through. Breastfeeding grief is a real thing though and the emotions that often come with not being able to breastfeed are tough.

There's lots of info out there on breastfeeding after a c section and it absolutely is possible (e.g. here). Like previous posters have said, having the number of lactation consultants / breastfeeding support groups before you give birth is a great idea. Your local breastfeeding support group will no doubt be able to answer lots of your questions even now before your pregnancy.

It might be worth looking at some of the free courses available on preparing to breastfeed. If you're UK based, the ABM and LLL ones look good. You can also find some great podcasts (e.g. The Badass Breastfeeding Podcast).

Don't worry at all about breast size, it has no impact on how much milk you produce.

There's not loads you would need to buy and you can always pick things up as you need them. Sometimes breast pads can be helpful as well as nipple cream and nursing bras but really all you need initially is to bring baby to breast and know where to reach out for help. Breastfeeding is a learned skill and, like most things with parenting, doesn't always come easily but is so worth it.

You mentioned about taking medication and that impacting breastfeeding. If you have that again, the Breastfeeding Network has a drugs information service and you can find lots of resources online or ask them questions directly.

I fully agree with @Thejoyfulstar.

It's not a 100% true statement but those I've known to breastfeed past 6 months have been those with a real true deep desire to. The others that were happy to combi feed / FF tended to switch fully to formula by about 3 months. Once again not an entirely true statement for everyone.

Thank you everyone so much!
Lots of things to read and think about. We've got a rough transfer date (as long as lining is okay) and I'm going to hopelessly try and occupy my mind with reading things about BF and trying to prepare my body a bit more this time, rather than googling every single symptom and waiting for the TWW but who am I kidding, I'll still be googling away.

My body has taken an absolute battering over the last 4 years and I've really tried to prepare myself to be as strong as I can this time. Anything can happen and it's hard to plan a birth but elective C section is definitely the way for me this time. So I'm hoping with a bit more luck and calmness I'll be able to at least give breastfeeding a real good go. Whether we end up combi feeding or whatever I won't beat myself up about it but I really do want to try. A lot of it is curiosity too, just to see what it's like. After DD was born and the midwives / DH were feeding her formula (I did consent in a big haze that I don't really remember) but I think this time with a bit of planning and just being aware of things, hopefully, we can give it a go.

So the small boobs thing seems okay, I also have tiny nipples (literal haribo eggs) I'm guessing that will be okay to?

I'm probably full of silly questions but DD didn't have a single bit of breast milk so I'm a total novice!

(Obviously, this is if the transfer works of course / survives the thaw etc.)

It worked first time with DD and I don't want to throw myself into a false sense of security that it will happen again. Just got to take each day as it comes I guess!

I second researching where to get support. I couldn’t find a lactation consultant when I needed one in a hurry and didn’t feel up to pushing the pram to the local breastfeeding support for several weeks. I found it hard to get comfortable positions post C section but lots of other people haven’t had this problem so might just be me and didn’t help that the midwives kept pushing the most uncomfortable positions on me. My DD also had an undiagnosed tongue tie and by the time it was sorted I didn’t have much supply so sorting out any problems early helps. If trying again I would also make an effort to express colostrum but I didn’t as I was paranoid about bringing on labour early (wanted to wait for my elective CS as baby was breach).

When roughly in pregnancy can you start the colostrum harvesting? From what I've read it's liquid gold so if all else goes down the pan I would really really like to have at least some colostrum stored.

I know they have a local breastfeeding drop in at the community centre near me as it has signs up every now and again and appears on the local social pages.
I think deep down after a few months I probably purposely avoided reading into breastfeeding. I've read so many stories where mums feel guilty for formula feeding, and I feel absolutely zero guilt. I was in no shape to breastfeed, I know it wasn't the right time with DD and she's such a healthy bright little girl now so I don't regret it at all. I remember feeling quite sad about the traumatic birth, which was a far cry from what we thought it would be. But that's okay. From everything that's happened the past few years I know life can be fleeting so we just take each day as it comes. DH is nothing short of incredible so I know if I can Bf this time around, he would absolutely help out in any other areas.

DD was actually meant to be elective section and she was booked for 39ish weeks, due to my cancer surgery I am cut from top to bottom. From my sternum to my pubic bone, but I ended up going into labour at 36+1 and she was coming thick and fast, and due to the size of my scar and all my adhesions inside they booked an elective so they could have an experienced surgeon. They called the surgeon in and rushed me down and she was out fine, but I lost so much blood and was gravely anaemic I had to stay in HDU for a while. All I can say is thank goodness for blood donations.

I don't know why I'm rambling on it's 2am and I'm wide awake (DD teething and I've bought her in with me and she's flat out and I'm wide awake)

Just watching her sleep. I feel so lucky to have her, and I would feel unbelievably grateful to the universe if a little brother or sister comes along for her.

There are plenty of women who would give anything to even have the chance to decide to breastfeed or formula feed. That can't have children. I know what will be will be.

Woah I didn't realise I was rambling on so much. I don't want to derail the thread if anyone is on here looking for advise - nighttime is always a time where thoughts go in my head. Thankfully mostly good now.

Anyway that's my diary entry with total overspill about my life!

Totally agree with @Thejoyfulstar the main thing you need is grit and determination and the want to really do it . Don't have any formula or bottles in the house.
When nelly hospital buzz every time you feed so the midwife can watch / help and you have position and latch sorted asap
It shouldn't be painful, sore yes, for a few days but painful no that means something not quite right. I wouldn't bother with harvesting colostrum

I had to FF my DD due to us both being very unwell when she was born.

Ive just had DS who's two weeks and we're BF! I was desperate to feed him myself after not being able to with DD so when I was pregnant I did a lot of research. I watched a lot of YouTube videos on latch and first feeds (I'll paste below ones I found helpful). I also found Instagram a good resource especially olivialactationconsultant.

I ended up having to FF top ups in the hospital and when we came out he was mostly FF (and frankly I did whatever I had to do to get off that postnatal ward) but when I got home I had tons of skin to skin, kept offering the breast and within 24 hours of getting out he was down to one FF top up a day.

I'm not going to lie though - it's hard! I know it's not the case for everyone but for me it was very painful at first. I had a small baby and have massive boobs with quite flat nipples. Not a match made in BF heaven. But I kept going and I'm so glad I did. It's not pain free apart from the initial latch which lasts maybe 10 seconds.

In terms of things to buy I'd just say nipple cream. Lansinoh saved me that first week. Anything else you can get very easily if needed. I went on a mad Amazon spree and ordered anything I thought might help - nipple shields, cooling pads etc - didn't use them.