Breastfeeding help!

[Wdib78]

My baby is 4 weeks old, I have been breastfeeding as much as I can from the start ( apart from first few hours) no help from midwives in hospital so first 2 feeds were ready made formula.
He manages to latch on but not for long and will pull shelf off, bounce on the breast, claw at it and kick his legs in and out, it's distressing for both of us, after 3 days in hospital where he was literally on the breast 24/ 7 and I was lucky to settle him by 5am, I started using formula to top up as breastfeeding just wasn't satisfying him and straightaway he was settled after.
Apparently he has a good latch, despite a slight tongue tie, I gave a hired electric pump to use until 7th September, I rarely pump very much, and basically after how long it takes to feed him and get him settled there is barely any free time to attempt pumping.
Recently he has started not wanting to lie down and be sat up having his back rubbed, he will drift off but as soon as I lie him down the screaming will start again. 4am last night I managed to get a couple hours sleep after having taken him out for a drive , got home and he slept for 15 minutes, woke up had a feed from me and fell asleep on me and I didn't dare put him back in cot so left him sprawled across me.
I'm totally fed up with the whole ordeal, do I ditch breastfeeding and just formula feed? Once he's drained both he's still not satisfied and can take a full bottle straight after.
He also seems to be really fussy and in pain before a dirty nappy but health visitor said this is normal.
I'm at my wits end thinking that he will never sleep again and nor will i

Congratulations on your new LO @Wdib78

Everything you've described is exactly what we had with our DS and with him it was Tongue Tie.

Have a read of this article from Milk Matters and see how many of the symptoms he has

Congratulations. Personally I would get his tongue tie looked at. My daughter could not stay on my boob! some of midwifes said she was tongue tied others said she wasn’t. It turned out she had a 50% tongue and as soon as that was sorted she breast fed with no further issues. I did both formula and breast which worked well for me. I would add she also had reflux which caused a lot of colic. The first months were the worst but it does get better I promise

Thanks guys, hospital told me that the tongue tie wasn't a concern and shouldn't impact feeding but I wasn't totally convinced and definitely thinking it's that after seeing some of his traits on that link!
Sometimes he can be OK ( he's just had 5 minutes on one breast and is now napping peacefully unlatched but against it using it as a pillow 😅)

It makes me so mad when they say it isn't affecting feeding. It so bloody obviously is! 🤦‍♀️

I would get the tongue tie looked at. Midwives and health visitors aren’t properly trained about tonge ties so would take what they say with skepticism.

we were told the same with DS.

He has a check at the doctors coming up, I will bring it up then.
It was the "baby doctor" this I'd how he referred to himself at the hospital that said about the tongue tie, the one who did his post birth checks like drop test etc.
The midwives in the hospital weren't exactly forthcoming with breastfeeding advice tbh, I had Emcs and no one actually mentioned anything about feeding him , I was under the impression that after birth they ask you how you'll be feeding baby ( when I was moved to regular maternity ward I heard other mums being asked).
In fact it was a few hours after birth that I actually had to bring up feeding him! Midwife said they'd left us alone as I'd had a rough time! Never even got skin to skin, nor my OH which was on my birth plan that he would do it if I was too ill.

I'm so sorry to hear you've had a tough time with breastfeeding. Firstly congratulations on your new baby. The first few weeks with a newborn are undeniably hard with hormones and sleep deprivation. Really well done for persevering with feeding.

I have breastfed two babies very successfully, and eventhough I found the physical process easy, the constant feeding during night when I felt like I didn't have a drop of breastmilk left was so tiring. My DS is nearly 6 months old now (how time flies!), but in the early weeks he was constantly on me and didn't seem settled until my supply had settled.

On the tongue tie, I have no experience with this but I've heard that nipple shields can help. So sorry to hear that your midwives haven't been helping you, have you got a local breastfeeding support group near you? There is support out there, hang in there mama.

I have heard there is no such thing as a ‘slight’ tongue tie. It sounds as though it is affecting feeding, which in turn will cause a lot of other problems for your baby. It makes me so angry that so many HCPs are so dismissive of it! You may find the GP doesn’t have a clue either. Mine certainly didn’t! We went private to get our baby’s sorted, and it honestly made a world of difference.

If money allows, I would get this assessed and divided as soon as you can. Milk Matters, in the link I posted earlier, do virtual assessments but there are plenty of other Tongue Tie Practitioners.

Also agree that the GP is unlikely to be of much use when it comes to TT and feeding your baby. I'm not sure that feeding a baby is even covered in the training that a Doctor receives, never mind Tongue Tie.

Get the tongue tie sorted. As soon as you can. It makes me SO cross the lack of medical knowledge around this. Ring your midwife, ask to be referred. If you can afford it, it can be done privately. My babies tongue tie destroyed our first two weeks, having it snipped was life changing. So sorry you’ve had such bad support.