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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

I'm worn out..... night-time feeder.... HELP!

22 replies

mumto2boys · 26/11/2004 19:31

Ds2 is 12 weeks old now and has his last feed of the day between 4.30 and 5.30pm and is asleep in his bed by 7pm at the latest - he has done this since he was born. He then sleeps approx 7-9 hours before waking up twice (sometimes more) in the night for feeds.

For example.. Yesterday his last feed was at about 5pm, he then woke at 12am, then at 3am, then at 5am and then 9am for feeds ... he then had a feed at 1.30pm and another feed at 5pm; other nights he might feed at 6pm and then at 2am and then at 5am, 9am, 1pm, 5pm ... and so on

Yes I get an evening to myself but I am so so tired with waking up more than once a night - I could cope with once!! I have to be up at approx 7am with ds1 so lie-ins are out of the question...

I have tried waking him for a feed when I go to bed, he either won't feed at all or will feed happily but it makes no difference to the night feeds. During the day he will go approx 4 hours between a feed (sometimes less) but he always has a last feed between 4.30-5.30 and somewhere between 5-6pm he cries and cries till he can get to sleep - so trying to stretch out his last feed is difficult as ds2 just wants to sleep! (Hard on ds1 as well).

Any suggestions? .... I need sleep!!

OP posts:

Original poster

mumto2boys · 26/11/2004 19:32

a bit more to add...

he basically is having his long sleep from early evening and then his "day" for feeds starts in the early hours - you can see it is stretched out over the day for 6 feeds....

How can I shift his day??

OP posts:

bottle · 26/11/2004 19:33

do you have a partner? if so could you express and get him to give you a night off -

MarsLady · 26/11/2004 20:23

hi mum. What we did at home was I would feed dts their bedtime feed (breast btw) at about 10pm then when they woke, normally about 1.30am or 2.00am my dh would give them a bottle. That would allow me a decent stretch of sleep before waking again to feed the dts at 5.00am or 6.00am. Would that work? Btw my dh works full time and his feeding the dts didn't last as long as my feeding them. I honestly couldn't have gotten through the first few months without this help. He still does this now, though we are trying to persuade them to sleep through by giving them water. hth

Original poster

mumto2boys · 26/11/2004 20:45

Thanks for these suggestions... If dh worked better hours.. then his doing a night feed might work (a friend and her dh do this so I am aware of the idea) BUT.. dh works odd hours which constantly change so I cannot guarentee he would be around for a particular feed (his company are that bad - they change his hours with no notice [cross face emoticon!]...

BUT even on dh's nights off... getting him to feed/change ds2 is a nightmare as he doesn't hear ds2 cry (he was just as bad with ds1) and I end up waking up anyway... [annoyance face emoticon!]. Must admit I made him get up and change ds2's nappy the other night by poking him in the ribs (couldn't get him to feed as we were away from home and I had no bottle or pump with us....)

any other ideas?

OP posts:

bottle · 26/11/2004 20:47

would you consider gina ford, the basic structure i found a real help

MarsLady · 26/11/2004 20:56

there's always Tracy Hogg the baby whisperer if you can't stomach Gina Ford (sorry, not a fan)

dinny · 26/11/2004 22:19

Hi Mumto2boys, my ds is 11 weeks and glugs all night. He has his last feed at 6 ish and sleeps till about midnight. I then just bring him in bed with me an d let him help himself. I just go to sleep while he's feeding. It means I don't really have to wake up much in the night. Your ds sounds like mine - a night snacker! Good luck

Original poster

mumto2boys · 26/11/2004 22:36

Hi Dinny! How is your little one doing? I'm Jacksmumto1 by the way!!!

How do you get comfy when feeding in bed? I used to do it all the time with ds1, but this time just cannot get comfy (remains of the spd in my pelvis I think...) but have resorted to being uncomfortable in order to get more sleep!

OP posts:

janeybops · 26/11/2004 22:43

How about delaying the 5 pm feed for 10 mins every night till you eventually ahve him starting his long sleep a bit later in the evening and therefore waking up a bit later too. What I mean is do 5.10 pm one night or two then 5.20, then 5.30 and so on.

milklady · 26/11/2004 23:28

My DS is the same - he can sleep for 7 hours in the evening but then often needs a late night and early morning feed. I do the same as Dinny and just bring him into bed for the late night feed and he just stays there with me (I'll worry about getting him to sleep all night in his cot later). It's not always mega-comfy, I sometimes wake up with very stiff elbow where I've got my arm curled above his head, but it's better than being up and down a few times with trying to re-settle him in his cot.

Like you I wish I could shift that 6-7 hour block of sleep over to the traditional night.

Only downside is that DS doesn't get winded and then has to trump out all the excess air in the morning .

Original poster

mumto2boys · 27/11/2004 11:30

I'm stick with what I am doing then for now - bring him into our bed when he requires that feed and leave him there... just have to put up with the discomfort I guess! He does settle back in his crib once swaddled but it means more time that I am up rather than asleep!

I'll give him a few more weeks and see if he changes his feeds if not then I'll try and lengthen him a bit more

Thanks for all your replies

OP posts:

dinny · 27/11/2004 20:57

Hi, Jacksmum2twoboys! Hope you're well. Our parenting thread is a bit of a non starter.

Um, re feeding comfortably - I couldn't do it at first so followed the instructions in a l Leche book (I think it was that book). Have a pillow under your head, behind back (lean slightly into it), have your top knee on a pillow too. Then with your lower arm cradle baby. Pillows really helped me at first - still use the one under knee. Ater ds is latched on I usually move arm so his head is just on mattress. hth. I love getting him in with me the first time he wakes up - makes life so much easier.

lol at Milklady - my ds does volleys of farts in the morning as he never gets winded at night

goreousgirl · 28/11/2004 23:18

I hated Gina Ford for my first, and resorted to her with my current 6 month old. He sleeps much better than no.1!! I don't follow her to the letter, just the general feeding structure. Do you give your baby a bath at night? If so, could you stretch out the final feed half before bath and half after? Also - how about introducing the final feed as a formula feed? It may just fill him up a little more, and give you a rest? maybe hubby or mum could feed him whilst you give older one a bath and story??

I'm a big pillow user in the night, one behind my back - one between my knees, and one behind baby's back - also makes a great wall between me and hubby in bed in case he forgets how tired I am!!(wink)

julen · 29/11/2004 13:34

Hi mumto2boys,
Sounds exhausting.. Know what it's like too, my ds (7 months now) was the same when he was your ds2's age. What I found worked was to give him a bit of babyrice made with breastmilk just before goign for his long sleep to fill him up as much as possible, move the time of his last feed (at 5.30) by about 10 mins every day (or two) (as someone suggested earlier, I think), and (sorry, bad mum bit) leave him to cry when he woke up (not longer than 10 minutes though!)(not sure if that makes it better, but there you go...)- still feel a bit guilty about that, but it worked - he slept through after 4 days, and he managed to go for his nighttime long sleep at 7 (together with his sister, at last!) after a while as well.
I wished I had done it earlier (this was when he was 4 months) - the world looked so much better after a normal night's sleep!

Loochyloo · 01/12/2004 14:26

My ds is now 4 months old and after 12 weeks (and many interrupted nights) I bit the bullet and followed Baby whisperer's tips on "cluster feeding" follwed by dream feed. So baby has feed at 5 ish then one at 7.30/ 8 then get him up at 10:30/ 11 to feed again (think she even suggests 1 an hour early eve though not sure). Was paranoid at first that he would spring awake but he doesn't and it seems to work. He sleeps from after his 8pm feed til 8/ 9 in the morning (including sleep eating at 11). Mind you, he's not a great sleeper in the day so prob just knackered too! What really amazed me was that he eats despite fact he only ate a few hours before.

saintlysecur · 01/12/2004 14:48

I took the really radical move last night of ignoring dd when she woke for a 12 o clock feed, she whinged for about 4 mins (not screamed) and went back to sleep-and stayed asleep all night! she is 4/5 months!

sponge · 01/12/2004 14:56

I don't like GF overall but the feeding structure works quite well. The main thing being to wake him up for a first feed at 7am regardless of when he last fed. This should be easy enough if you're up anyway with ds1. He may not take much at this time if he's fed at say 5.30am but it means you get more feeds in during the day and therefore theoretically fill him up more, leading to longer night-time sleeping. I also find bathtime quite a good delaying tactic before the last feed.
Good luck. Mine, at 16 weeks, only wakes up once but even that is tiring so I sympathise.

Bozza · 01/12/2004 15:58

Think you really need to work on moving his last feed back - 5 pm is too early. The 10 minutes every two/three days is a good idea. Then at least you would have 7, 2, 5 etc.

He maybe having a growth spurt and it might be better soon. FWIW I was in your position at that point with DD (and DS up at 7 as well) and found it quite hard. Although I did appreciate my evenings which is something I never had with DS.

root · 01/12/2004 16:30

hi there tired one

My babe is the same age but has hit a reasonable routine - probably more by luck than judgement, but here's what we do.

Joe goes to bed at 7 to 7.30 after a bath and a feed. If I left him, he'd sleep until 12 ish, but I wake him up and feed him at about 11 just before I go to bed. As you've found, this can be difficult, but it helps to put the lights on and change his nappy washing him with cool water to wake him up a bit. The more he eats at 11, the longer he goes for, so I sometimes breastfeed and then give him a small bottle of expressed milk as well to top him up. He seems to find it less effort to suck from a bottle than the breast, so it means he'll take a bigger feed.

Up until two weeks ago, he would then last until 3 or 4 and then on till 7 after a feed, so it meant only getting up once which feels more manageable.....and now, dare I say it, he is sleeping through the night (thank you god).

If none of that works for you, take heart - the older he gets, the bigger his stomach will be so he should take bigger feeds and sleep longer....

Original poster

mumto2boys · 02/12/2004 19:11

Thank you everyone for your replies - it has been interesting to read your responses and I will be trying them out - I am so tired now that I can't think straight...!

My parents are coming down for the weekend tomorrow and are having ds1 to stay at least one night but hopefully 2 if he goes happily (will be his first night away since ds2 was born) so I am hoping for at least 1 lie-in to catch up and will have a go at adjusting his feeds as well. I think I will have another go at waking him for an extra feed before I go to bed first and if that doesn't work then I will attempt to shift his feeds along by 10mins. I think I also need to force myself to be active from 7am when ds1 wants to get up and try and get more of a routine going on that side as well.

Thanks for your advice folks - I'm sure I will be asking more questions soon!!!!!

OP posts:

lulupop · 02/12/2004 20:28

bit late to this thread but just wanted to let you know that my DD (2nd child) was in exactly this pattern at the same age. SHe'd go doen fine at 6.30pm but be up again by midnight and then every 2 hours all night. It is so exhausting.

She also only napped for 2x30min naps a day.

The good news is that by 6 months she had suddenly started sleeping better at nap times, and with a bit of leaving her to cry during the night, we've got to her sleeping through (or at least settling herself back to sleep when she does wake) to 5am, when she wakes, cries a little, chats a bit, and then goes off till 7am.

She doesn't seem that hungry for her milk and breakfast either so I feel totally vindicated in the leaving her to cry a bit at night.

Hope things improve a bit for you.

Amanda3266 · 02/12/2004 20:40

Hi there,

Many sympathies - I know what you are describing well. My DS did exactly the same. No matter what time he had his last feed he still needed more during the night and he would awake without fail at 7am .
The big change for me came with weaning - once he was taking more calories during the day he started slleping most of the night only waking once for a feed and by 22 weeks he dropped this.
Don't woory - he'll do it. Also - how's his weight - is he showing signs of wanting to wean a bit early.

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